You said you liked cherry blossoms once.
Whether it was because cherry blossoms are the symbols of your name, or because it's the flower which represents you; beautiful and glamorous, you never once told me.
Or is it because the scene in which we first met, was with the presence of cherry blossoms?
No matter what, it doesn't signify anything anymore.
It's time to bury the love I have towards you.
Every time when my thoughts come to this, my heart shatters.
And, every time I can't bear to…
The chance of you coming out is rare, and I am alone by myself.
We, as artists, once commit a crime, would be under the accusations of thousands of people.
I love you.
This is my sin. My sin from the beginning.
Up till now, it hasn't changed.

After waiting for a long time, you still haven't arrived.
No one dares to let me wait… Only you. However, I will wait on, because only you are worth waiting for.
I understand that most of the time it's not because you want me to wait. You never thought of hurting me, because of my love for you. You know my intentions, and you treasure them. The things that few people know to treasure……are what we always meet with.
We who meet everyday, treasure every second.
Because I love you.
Always, I have loved you.
Even though you made a mistake which thousands of people point at you to blame for, I haven't changed. You, most likely you won't change?
Always… I can't bear to see you hurt… But I can't stop you from being hurt.
I hope you will be happy, but now it's impossible. We have come so far… We have been together for so long… I don't know how many times you said "love you", and I don't know how many times I've been embraced by your gentle smile……
But now….
It's already….
Is it too… Late...?
The present me and the present you, even if we haven't changed, still won't be happy.
They need me now.
You need me too.
I can't be like you and betray them.
…Because they are the pillars of my heart. You are a flower……beautiful cherry blossoms……The flower that I love deeply.
But, without the pillars, there will be no flowers. There is no way that I will let the pillars fall. Tetsu's smile, Ken's mischief and seriousness—they are my life, because the three of us have come so far… Without you, I believe……
The pillars will still stand.
I like strong people, because we are weak.
Only the strong will never be hurt.
I love you……. But I can't love you with all my heart.
I can't be hurt…

Your face, under the white moonlight, is still so beautiful.
Like the cherry blossoms, so enticing. Now, the trees of the cherry blossoms cannot have those flowers.
Our love, like cherry blossoms, is beautiful……But short-lived.
The rainbow is the same, but the rainbow is the sky's pillar! I will protect it.
My sky won't fall, because I won't let the pillar fall.
Cherry blossoms, however, are short-lived…
Because once the season is over, the cherry blossoms wither.
Rainbow and cherry blossoms….
Once the season is over, I can't support you.
Please forgive me….

"Haido…" Your tone is still warm.
Your face, however, has become worn out so much…. My heart hurts.
The blooming of the cherry blossoms is the beginning of life, but with the beginning, there will be an ending.
You are the cherry blossoms which have fallen onto the ground.
Because of your fall, the rainbow was almost shattered. That rainbow is almost like a bird with broken wings, deprived of flight. But, I believe…. I will protect it…Surely.
But the path of the fate of the cherry blossoms is in a circle.
You who has fallen, I believe, will return to the ground, become part of the fertile soil, and then return to the cherry blossom tree… Wait for the season, and then freely bloom.
If there is the season, the earth, the tree, you will belong to you... From the beginning, I knew… You should have your own freedom. The rainbow and the sky shouldn't have tied you down.
"I love you, Sakura…" Why does this phrase feel like the lyrics of a song? I am unable to convey the real meanings of my heart…But I hope you will understand.
"Hyde…" You come closer, gentle fingers encircling mine, holding them tightly…
Love you… My feelings flow from my heart, almost overflowing.
My heart hurts so much.
"I love you too."
You pull me closer, into the warm embrace which I am so familiar with. The embrace which I will soon yearn for.
Soft lips tightly press against mine, once again… We breathe as one.
Really love you so much.
My tears almost overflow…
Such a pity…. It's too late… No matter how much I love you, it's useless.
Only today, the skies almost seem to cry… Crying blood tears of pain. Crying for the two people who are fighting with fate.
Your body warmth, your touch, your… Everything….. That are only yours…. I engrave deeply into my heart.
I know, because of my choice, I will never touch the beautiful blossoms again!
I…!

I push you away with all my might.
"Haido?!" You freeze for a moment, seeming to have understood half of my intentions.
"I really love you so much? Tears seem to disobey me. You reach out to wipe away my tears…
But I can't…
I lean back, and back away a few steps.
"I'll be leaving you tomorrow…Sakura…"
"I heard of it. This time I've come… To make sure that you love me? Please  wait for me! Once I've compensated for my crime, we will be together once more…!"
"Sakura! You don't seem to understand….Without me, you will be able to go on! But without the sky, the rainbow can't exist! And without the rainbow, the sky will be empty! I love you… It's because you're the rainbow, yet you're also the cherry blossoms……. The rainbow needs the sky!"
"I need you too…! Haido, you don't love me? Or will you love anyone? As long as they are the rainbow?"
It's not like this…Sakura…It's not……! "Maybe… Please live on freely… Without me, you will be free!"
"Haido! You don't understand!!"
"I understand! Please believe me!" I shake my head violently, hoping to never hear your voice again… If I stay here any longer……. I won't be able to leave…! I know myself too well! "Live well, you still have your forest, but the rainbow and the sky are coexistent! Please….. Forget me… For us…"
Not caring about the tears which flow like the rain, not caring about the heart which is overcome by pain that feels like thousands of needle-pricks…
I run away from you, and you never did chase after me…
For my belief, for our future… One day, you will understand! No matter how painful it is now, in the future…………

***

Now, I still haven't forgotten you!
Of that time, I still remember… The likes of that season which it was in, Sakura.
But… I have the rainbow… The rainbow and the sky are coexistent… Do you understand now?
I believe you do….
From the first time that I met the person whom I was destined to meet, I have already made up my mind about my dreams, my most important thing….
"You are the sky, I am the arc!"
That smiling face, till now, hasn't changed.
You're obviously so tired… I still feel pained for you.
But, I also see you smile. You are the beautiful cherry blossom which has bloomed after going through rains and winds!
The cherry blossoms, without the sky, is able to live on.
And the rainbow is only existent after the rain and the winds. As long as there is a sky…
The rainbow is more fragile than the cherry blossoms!
Oh yes, Zigzo's new maxi single SPLASH, I've gotten it. The first pressing has stickers, too. …Like it very much. Not bad! The music, and the band too… …Seeing these words on the maxi single… "ZIGZO are Tetsu/Ryo/Den/Sakura" …Don't know why, I suddenly feel very contented.
Yet… Just a little sad.
So happy that you are strong…
The rainbow still coexists with the sky.
The change that the rainbow undergoes till now is very big… Now, it seems to be flying, flying higher and farther… The rainbow, right now is still the rainbow!
…During those first few days without you, I felt as if I was missing something, and I couldn't sleep all night. That time, if you saw me like that, I guess I would have been scolded by you!
Maybe, I who hate weak people, is the truly weak person?
But I don't regret it!
Hope you're happy…
Sakura.

-fin-

Sunday, October 08, 2000 3:33:58 PM
hidoko Matsumoto
http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk