Faraway in the sky, birds spiral freely, almost as if jeering at his own helplessness.
Faraway in the sky, there is a a rainbow, stretching from a corner of the sky's edges to another corner, almost as if jeering at his own wrists that have been reddened by the fate's chains.
Someone who's like an angel, in mind's eye appears floatingly, reflecting...
"Ah".....lifting that head and sighing softly, strands of sighs, pleas, linger in the air.
The sky's love will never belong to a lone person...

~*~

Those eyes were this heart's mirror.
Bright, intelligent, those were the eyes of the Son of god.
In his impression, that pair of eyes is forever reflecting himself--but, he also saw endless sadness, wishes...
When all of the world is in a person's hand, he wouldn't have anything to thirst for...
Therefore, the world lost its meaning too.
Therefore, everytime, thinking of those eyes, he would feel sad.
Because even though they're reflecting himself, he could see, that thirst deep inside that soul for that untouchable sky.

~*~

That was a time which is so distant from our current society, and it was also a place which didn't know of urbanization.
Once, it was a place which was like heaven.
Once, it was a peaceful time where people bore no grudges between them.
It was there that Apollo's son was born.
Once, it was a place where gods, humans, demons could live harmonously, and even walk hand-in-hand.
Before the great war between heaven and earth, there hadn't been any difference.

~*~

Memories are not images that's fated to disappear after a while in a person's mind.
A feeling that is deeply carved into the heart is the imprint on the soul; as deep as sin, as real as hatred.
For the people who are existing, each moment is a reflection of the memory.
When tetsu was young, he was flung aside by others because he had a weird dream.
Because they were afraid.
Afraid of all the unusual things in this peaceful era.
"I dreamt of him!"
The only good friend who had listened to him was the cute stuffed bear. He named that toy "Yuki".
"Very blissful, very blissful.... I loved him so much in that dream!" That smile was radiantly bright, warmer and stronger than the sun. "But... I don't know who he is, what do you think?"

When they met, the wheel of fate was continuing on its neverending journey.

~*~

I don't remember so many many things; recently, I even forget what I have eaten yesterday.
But, something lingers in my mind always, like a bloated balloon, growing and growing.
One day, it will burst.
....It is almost bursting...
I'm so scared, scared that I will remember something.
Because, I'm so happy; being able to own that person who's like a goddess...
I have never seen anyone more beautiful than he.
We met in the chapel.
The first time I saw him, I mistook him for an angel....
It is really funny, but I had been young! Young and naive!
But, that was a mistake which I would never regret for commiting!
Maybe it's not really a mistake, afterall, till now... He is my angel.

~*~

Love at first sight is a romantic imagination in everyone's mind, but it is the most untrustable...
This is the truth, but, the first time tetsu met with hideto, in both their hearts, it was seemed as if a place inside had been lit.
Burning, burning, and burning until today.

On the streets of winter, the crowd which went to and fro was like blood that flowed from wounds, unendingly, unendingly...
A boy, who was as fragile and petite as a girl, stood at the entrance of a shop, shivering. He glanced at his watch; on the screen was a numerical value of '2.21pm'.
His feeling was like a girl; inside his heart, butterflies fluttered everywhere--swirling, pulsing.
He waited till he almost suffocated, yet he continued waiting.
Waiting brought a desolate feeling.
Is he ill?
Has he caught the flu?
Or has he changed his mind? Decided to stand me up?
Et cetera...
When he glanced at his watch again, the time was 2:28pm.
It passed by so slowly...
Once again he brought his thoughts to focus on the crowds.
In the waves of the human sea, he sensed someone's shadow...
"You're late for half an hour!"
"Sorry! I hadn't meant it, just now this girl from my class bugged me till I almost died, it took me so much effort to get away..." The face which he gazed at made everything seemed so trivial.
"Fine, I'll let you go this time, but not next time!"
"Yes, tet-chama!"

Shopping, having meals...
This is the description of every couple's dates.
The truth meaning lay behind two smiles which complimented each other... This meant a couple in love.
Obliged company was another matter.
ken and sakura, both of them were in a high-class restaurant.
But, the two of them had nothing to say...
Except skin-deep topics.
"Yesterday, my grandfather visited and gave me a versace belt."
"Oh."
"Later, let's go and buy something."
"Good, I have something I want to get too."
"Then let's get it together."
"Fine, no problem."
Tired, ken was really tired, she didn't want to drag on anymore...
But...

~*~

I love you, I love you from deep within!
This is what I have sensed...
Ever since I was born, I've sensed this.
The dreams from childhood are but the love that has been built up for our reunion...
Because, for you, I'll live the life of discrimination... It won't matter to me...

In my mind there has always been a child.
It keeps on screaming, screaming, struggling.
It is a child which would never be born...
Maybe, instead of saying that it is a child, it will be more accurate to say that it is my unknown half.......
Some place in my heart is screaming.
Something, in that place, is squirming, waiting for the time of wake, yet... It will never be able to wake up, it will never be released...
Only during a time, when the body's flames have burnt out...
Only during a time, when I feel him as one with me...
I almost understood something, but it is so blurred, so distant......

~*~

"I got to know a girl."
The night was pale, shining on that angel's body like a blessing.
So beautiful, so beautiful, beautiful till it was almost suffocating.
tetsu kept silent.
"She needs me," hideto's expression was serious.
"I need you too," his eyes felt hot, but he was scared that if he cried, he would never be able to stop.
"No, the only person whom I've been waiting for is her."
"Don't you want me?"
"No, I'm only asking for your understanding."
"I don't understand, what is there to understand!"
The feeling of betrayal had been so repulsive.
"Because both of us will never be able to be together?! It doesn't make a difference even if I love you?"
"I love you too, we can be together!! Listen to me, tetsu, I'm not sure myself!!!"
"Don't say anymore... Goodbye...."

~*~

Yes, in my mind that child has always been there, always waiting for release.
The memory is but my imagination.
It has been like this because I love him too much...
How does she look like?
I wanna see.
But, no matter how, I will never be comparable to her, because I'm a male, I'm his forbiddence.
Anyway... I'm scared that if I ever see her, I'll do something scary...

~*~

"This is only a ritual," the son of God told her. "I love you, but I can't love you like that. So, this is only a ritual."
"It doesn't matter, because I love you. It's not the ardent love towards the sky, it's the forbidden love."
Red-hot kisses, gentle carresses, they were nothing but meaningless rituals.
/If you really love him, there must be a successor to take over your place!/
The son of God couldn't lie to tetsu, because this was the promise between them both.

"sakura, I'm pregnant with your child."
"I'll give you money for you to abort."
"But, I need him."
"Then, our relationship is over."
"I don't mind."

"It's okay, tetsu... We're always forever!"
"You lie, you've fallen in love with another..."
"I love everyone, but it is not the forbidden love. All but you..."
"If it's true, then prove it to me!"
"I can't, because there is something that I still need to do; it can't be completed in this life."
"Then, we're unable to be together..."

"Do you agree to marry ken?"
"I agree."
"Do you agree to marry hideto?"
"I agree."
"Then please exchange your rings."

~*~

When I woke up from that gray world, the first thing which I saw had been your eyes.
Those eyes were wilful yet gentle; it's a pair of eyes which I've never seen before.
Because there's no one who can treat a repulsive person with gentility...
Not only me, but also towards others.
These flawless gestures let me cave in...
The feeling which you gave others is: no matter who did what, you will always protect them.
That's why, I fell in love with you, just like every pathetic human.
Love you, love you, love you.
Now this feeling corrodes my heart like acid.
Thus, please, set me free.

sakura's fingertips were warm, but, nothing was comparable with that smiling face...

~*~

The sky's love was unable to belong to anyone, because when that taboo was violated, the sky would fall.

~*~

The son of God could never let his sole beloved's smiling face be clouded by gray smog.
The day of awakening has arrived; the noon's sky has been dyed blood-red.
The five-year-old child had informidable power, unlimited intelligence. He could rule the world which his father left.
Gradually, the soil was dyed crimson...
Agony, desperation, destruction...

~*~

On a certain hill, it was all green; the earth was almost congratulating their reunion.
Yet, that red-haired boy gazed at his beloved with saddened eyes.
"Do you really feel so sorrowful? About this world's destruction."
"....." Tears fell from those eyes...
"It's already too late, this is the price of our relationship. He is my successor, he is the son of God who grasps everything, and I'm but an ordinary angel."
".......I don't want this world to be destroyed..."
"Sorry, but, it is swift, and they will be with us soon. In this paradise... Look, in that far end, aren't little elves playing? And isn't the rainbow stretched across the sky?"
Yes, all were perfect.
This was everything's flaw...
But, it all didn't matter.
"I did this to be with you..."
"Don't say anymore, I know." In the midst of tears, he showered the most brilliant smile.
"The reason I have been with ken was for that successor."
"......I know."
The rainbow slowly disappeared; in turn the dusk reddened the hill.
The two of them held each other tightly.
Gradually, the sky was black, and countless stars shone in the sky.
"I love you, not as an angel."
"....In my heart, there is a child."
"....?"
"He will never be born, but, he is our child..."
"Our child...."
"I remember, we used to hold each other on this hill, once upon a time."
"You remembered...."

~*~

Our world, this is our world.
It is our child.
hideto lied to me; this world hasn't been destroyed.
Because, this is both our promise...

~*~

"Doctor, when will he wake up?!!" Outside the emergency room, an anxious youth demanded. His hair was long and fine, and etched on that beautiful face was worry.
"I'm sorry, he'll never wake up."

"The police are investigating whose car hit him, soon they will find a culprit......"
"It's a red car."

...Everything, everything blurred.
When those eyes opened, and gazed at him silently, they were murmuring apologies...

"Love you... Not a universal love, but it is the forbidden love."
".....Please wake up..."

Once again, sakura's hands held ken's.
"I will never let you leave me again."
".........See, everything's all right...."

The dawn's sunlight was still so warm...
It shone onto the red-haired youth who had slept on for long, reflecting on his beautiful yet hesitant face...

"...the child in my mind is still waiting to be born..."
".......!!"

Those eyes, having shed tears until they dried out, blinked. And in turn, they saw a long-awaited...
....smiling face.

~*~

I already remember.
A long time ago, my beloved was the son of Apollo.
Because he had fallen in love with me, he was punished, and banished to this world, that son of God...
To continue on our sad masquerade was our convenant.
He's really gentle, even his tears....

~*~

"Good morning, hide....."

~owari~
31/12/00+sun+1:47am
Matsumoto hidoko
atogaki: towards this I haven't been able to fully express, because the original concept was "in my mind, there is a child that will never be born"...Just like this. It came about because of the male-male relationship which doesn't allow a child to be born... aye, if you wanna blame, blame bronze for writing her DNA stuffie...haha, I still prefer tetchan as number zero, but I still feel that hyde isn't suitable for the role of "the son of God who loves everything on this earth"!! It would be more plausible if the characters are reversed.
Aye, please comment and guide me.

http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk