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title: the Fillerbunnie in...FillerToshiya
author: hidoko Matsumoto
genre: parody, AU, satire
archive: no
mirror: yes, unless censorship applies? I want more people to hate me.^^
comments: he, he, he, he, heee.... well, this is written in honour of the original FILLERBUNNY by Jhonen Vasquez. Although, I think I'm rather doing damage to the original since I suck, but it's been filling my mind too much and I'm having a headache... 


Dewaaaaaaaa...douzo~~~~ (Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. I do injustice to the original comic. -_-)


"/remove specimen for activation/"
The goo-like mass of blue was suspended in a greenish liquid under a sickly dim light. 
*beep beep beep* 
The metal claw lifted that wrinkly mass up, while needles jabbed mercilessly into the blue flesh. The light blinked, and tubes jabbed into a vague lump called "head". It began to morph into the shape of a human, and the skin grew whiter and whiter until it was the color of porcelain. 
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
A cheerful little Toshiya, dressed in a lovely pretty happiness-inducing kimono, burst out from the cylinder.
"This doth be the FILLERTOSHIYA!!!" He giggled, acting purposefully like a slutty queen for the sake of it. "Are you ready for my comedy! ARE YOU!?"
Realizing that he was acting abnormal for a happiness-inducing fillerbunnie, he blinked in comprehension and apologized, "Sowee. They feed me weird drugs so I act weird. To make up for it, I dance!"
-playing-without-picks, he cracked a fingernail in the cage solo. Blood flooded out from that crack, but unfortunately Toshiya was too high on painkillers.
"...The painkillers are wearing off, can I sleep now?" He pleaded to Jhidonen. "...But Im so very tired and I think one of the needles broke in my brain meats."
"aaaaaaaaaaiiiyeeeeeeee!" Apparantly, the painkillers wore off and so did his fingernails. "PLEASE! KILL ME!!"
*JAB, came the needle* Finally, he got over his spasm and inhaled deeply.
"Huh? I don't need another injection. Just a little sleep is all. and the head still hurts."
*JAB, another needle* Poor, poor Toshiya's head had a hole in the middle when it left.
"kay, I feel good. Here comes...the super--- ACK ACK ACK~~!!!!" He clutched his head with his bleeding fingers. "No! the horror, the pain!!!"
He started dragging himself along. 
"Huh? what? oh... I was just going to the incinerator room. I thought I'd sorta go in there, you know." He explained to Jhidonen.
"Burn in the sweet flames of blessed death. yay." 
"Well, I'd rather /not/ burn to death, but i'll take it how I can. Really, i would just like me some death. Oh...You promise? BUt I have to entertain the people first? well...I guess so...But you'd better kill me some good, ok?" Having been promised his utmost desire, he turned to the audience. "Prepare to love me."
He continued dancing with his swayingy sexy butt, while millions of fangirls died from nose-blood-loss beneath the stage.
"I can tell that you want to see me be fucked by Kaoru. Because I know all things that make you happy. I make you happy. Yes? Yes." With that, he pulled a Kaoru out of his pocket, and inflated the human dummy.
*beep* Toshiya activated the mechanical Kaoru with the depression of that red button on Kaoru's tummy, and Kaoru's hips began to thrust against Toshiya's.
"Witness me get fucked by Kaoru!!"
The scene was absolutely grosteque with the two people grinding against each other. Toshiya was grinning with obvious pain, because his butt was all bloody by now. The audience below applauded and more fangirls fainted.
When that act was over and Kaoru's activation slowed down, Toshiya deflated him and stuffed him back into the pocket of his kimono sleeve.
"You want corny songs? I give you corny songs. So much corny songs do I give." He pulled out Kyo, who started screaming and shouting and wailing about pain, delusion and abortion. More fangirls fainted. He kept Kyo into his pocket again, and hid in a bath tub.
"Hehe, I am hiding in a bath tub. I am sexy. But someone's kid shitted in the bath tub, and I have no idea how to be rid of it." 
*acid rains from above, corroding away the shit and blood leaving Toshiya clean and neat and tidy.*
He put on a Hello Kitty space suit and flew through space. "I'm confused by this one, but you like it, so I do it. Well, it sure was fun, but it's over now! See you next time!" he began to walk off the stage, until Jhidonen pressed a button. "huh? not even 15 minutes? It felt a lot longer than that. are you sure? really? wow. Uhm...ok. Hi."
He turned to the audience, did a seductive pose, curling up his lips into a lovely pout and began his story. "see, I wasnt made to fill for this long, really. I was created to fill a bit when the authors run out of ideas. To get raped by Kaoru and Atsushi and some weird guy down the street. And then get fucked again. After one page, they put me back in the tank to regenerate and poke my organs. But each page I add to this parody means the levels of agony I only had to imagine. Heeehee!!!" 
"AAaaaaiiiiyeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly, a passing spasm came again and he clutched his head. "Okay...whew, that one passed. Better have some fun before the next one comes... yay...arrrgh...lookitme.... uuunnngghhh...dance!...nnnnn...whooo! Oh yeah! hnnnnngh!!! fun! AcK!" 
His face contorted.

Jhidonen: so I say, Tete, Tete since my desire to torture you has been overshadowed by my desire to poke fun at Toshiya and DEG fics, I'll just do some quick miniparody. "It'll be fun," I said. *huanted look* fun.... *face blanks out* WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME! *regains intellectual look* Oh yeah, it'll be fine, I said!! I'll do it mimic style! No problem! But I had forgotten an important thing about making fun of DEG. Working on it made me hated. Brutally hated. 
*flashback*
Doc: oh, here's your problem, you're hated. Go sleep it off.
Jhidonen: good...
*end flashack*
Jhidonen: *in front of PC* Now here I am doing this crappy thing, and I'm barely half done!! People are gunna send me hate mail again and shove more "DEG is GoD" talk down my throat!! Why does God (the real one) hate me so much?!! I know! I could kill myself! Yeah. No wait... Think of the retards who's just waiting to be made fun of. Yeeeaaaah.

*Coming up next: WATCH FILLERTOSHIYA EAT ALL KINDS OF FOODS!*
"uhm... but I'm not hungry," Toshiya whispered to the screen.
*FRENCH FRIES!* 
"I like fries!"
*MOCHI BALLS!*
"yay! green tea!"
*PEAS!*
Toshiya chews, and chews.
*MUFFINS!*
"mmm...yum!"
*SIZZLING RICE SOUP!"
"Yay! My favorite!"
*SPAGHETTI!*
"Spaghetti.^^"
*MEE KROB!*
"Huh? o_o"
*CARAMEL APPLE SUCKERS!*
"happy!^^"
*RECTAL MEAT!*
"yay... hey wait o_0"
*ZINGERS!* 
"Oh god no! O_0"
*ONIONS!*
"Well...It's better than rectal meat, but..."
*PULLED TEETH!*
"Crunch crack ugh....crunch"
*PIG NUTS!"
"someone help me."
*MORE TEETH!" 
"Snap...crack"
Toshiya, having finished everything, stood in the middle of the stage amidst leftovers. "Oooooh...That wasn't so bad. heh...I feel good."
*gurgle* 
"I'm just gonna stand here for a while...stand real still."
*squeek*
Toshiya stands _really_ reaaaalllyyy still for ten seconds.
Bursting into a cheerful smile again, "Okay! Now I think we can go on with th.... BURP!" *BLEEEEAAAAGH!* "IT BURNS!" He puked."Ohhh...that rectal meat taste again...noooo..."
*POooooooOoooP!* "Aiii!! it burns!! ooh..so weak..." He murmured, squeezing his eyes shut. "Aaaiiiiii!!" *pooooooooooooop bleeeeeeeeeeearrrgh*
(note: to those who dont get the sound effects, Toshiya is puking and pooping at the same time.)

Jhidonen: *looking up* eh? why are tomatoes flying in?

"Ugh...sorry about that............... Where am I? Mommy?" Toshiya's small eyes were still contorted in a thin line. "whoo.." With that, he did a sad little jig. "Awww... Coughh yeah lookit me! COUGH!!!"
He paused. His legs were starting to hurt because they were so slender and thin that they broke. "Could I get some water? Please? Well, I'm just a bit dehydrated, and I thought maybe water would be kinda nice. Yep... Water would sure be nice. You have some?! YAY! No... No I dont need it through an I.V. I can just drink it..."
*SHLUNK!* a needle through Toshiya's forehead, leaving another gaping hole and a bit of brain juice.
"Thanks... I sorta feel better now... Now watch me get morbidly underweight!" *POOF*, Toshiya turned even skinnier than before. His legs look like matches and his ribs were like hangers for the skin. "STARING CONTEST WITH KYO!"
Toshiya stared at Kyo.
Kyo stared at Toshiya.
Toshiya stared at Kyo.
Kyo stared at Toshiya, his eyes starting to bleed.
"....Kyo?" Toshiya's brows furrowed upon realizing that something was wrong.
*POP*, out came Kyo's eyes.

Doctor: Yessss...it seems Kyo had a rare disease that evolved from the famous Blindeadpigginess disease. He must have eaten too much pork and the viruses morphed into human form. 
Economist: It is estimated with the discovery of this disease, income due to pork will be decreased from 6.5 million to 1.4 million British Pounds in 2 years' time.

Toshiya's eyes brimmed with shiny tears. "I know I'm supposed to be happy and fun, but ever since Kyo the friend died, I been so sad. I gunna sing a sad song now. Kyyoooooo Ooooohhhh I miss yoouuuuuu~ Hey! Can I have a Die now? I'm just so lonely in this place. A friend would be nice. A Die-friend." 
*Poof* Die pops outta nowhere. 
"YAY! A Die! Thank you!! I love you, Da-" 
*BLAM!* A bullet shot through Die's forehead, killing him instantly. Brain juice and blood splattered onto Toshiya's lovely face, while his eyes widened in shock.
"Whyyyy!!? why da Die?! Huh? Uh huh... uh huhh... I understand now." His eyes brimmed with tears. "It was wrong of me to ask for anything... sob.... Even... Happiness......"
A tear rolled down the smmmoooth curve of his cheek.
*Poof* Shinya appeared, his beautiful golden hair shining in the sunlight.
"Huh?! wow a shinya-princess-thing! For me?!" Toshiya's face grew grim. (must keep quiet...don't smile.)
Shinya, while looking totally retarded, took out his drumsticks.
Toshiya's eyes remained wide and his lips curved down.
Shinya, while looking totally retarded, played on his drums.
Toshiya's eyes remained wide and his lips uncurved.
Shinya, while looking totally retarded, procceeded to a drum solo.
Toshiya's lips began to curve upward, and he greeted, "Hello, little shinya!"
*BLAM!* Gunshot through retarded-looking Shinya's forehead, killing him instantly.

Jhidonen: Uaaarrrggghhhh... I am so sick of this...cant...go...on.... Ugh... I'd rather be listening to crappy music than do this.
*neighbour blasts MACABRE*
Jhidonen: Oh FUCK! Aiiiyeeeeee!!! (actually, Macabre is better than Gauze. I didnt buy the CD.)

"Shiiiinyaaa I miss you soooo mucccchhhh~" Toshiya was singing. "Feel free to laugh at my pain. Whee! You should stop reading now... Really, it just gets worse. So much worse."
He stared into the faraway sky with a deep profound look on his face. "I think I'm supposed to eat more rectal meat later on. They've been surgically removing _MY_ rectal meat lately, so I'm starting to wonder. And I think I read on the computer schedule that I'm supposed to be raped by Kamijo."

Jhidonen: I still have the last page to go.... >_< I'm getting sore in my wrist, and my ears are gunna burst with the waste of precious sound energy that couldve been used for better purposes.

"Hey, wait. It's the end of the parody. I get to die now!" Toshiya's lips lifted once more. "YAaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!"
*SHUCK* A poison needle poked through Toshiya's forehead, and Toshiya fell down.
"/Specimen dead/"
"/Begin resuscitation process/"
*Bzzzzztttt...*
"Unnnnn...Huh?! Why do I live still?! You TRICKED me!!! WHyyyyyyyyy??!!!!!" Toshiya wailed to get distracted by Kaoru, who had fallen out of his sleeve pocket. "Wow! A Kaoru!"

Jhidonen: My room is being flooded with tomatoes!! And all the griping left to endure! More Macabre through the window!! Arrrrgh! I am full of hate. *dangerous look*

-end, hido plays Dune on CDPlayer-

I wanted to write tetsu fillerbunny, but to do it to tetsu would be too mean.... so, I write DEG. Since I dont care about Toshiya, I can torture him as much as I want to while breaking many hearts. Anyway, people like to see DEG members tortured, so I write tortured DEG members. Be happy. Flames and comments would be welcome.


http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk