ningyou hime

Once, in a society as modern and as cold as ours today, lived a little boy named Tetsu. He was a normal healthy boy, who laughed, and smiled, and played with toys as other kids would.

He celebrated his tenth birthday with other kids, and all his relatives and friends came with presents. He loved recieving presents, whether they were of use of him, or not. Sometimes, he would recieve something really strange, or something really special.

That month, his aunt who had returned from Europe brought him a doll. It was not a very normal doll, nor very rare. It was just a doll, a pretty doll with long, hinged limbs, a child-like chest, and long, silverish-brown hair. Despite its child-like quality, a sense of danger hung around its large, blue depths. 

"This doll's name is Hyde," said his aunt. "It has been given by its maker. I thought you'd like it."

"Queer," said Tetsu. "I don't like it, auntie! Dolls are for girls!" He was really just a normal little boy. 

"You'll like it," his aunt's smile was gentle as she told her nephew. "It's born just to be yours."

Tetsu liked his aunt enough- even if he did not like the doll- so he kept it by his bedside together with the hero action figures and mobile suit gundams. However, during play, he soon realized that he no longer had any trouble deciding who was the bad character. What he did not notice was, each time one of the figures hit the doll, in opposition to the midst of his own cheered shouting, there would be a sad glimmer in the doll's eyes. 

One night, he had a dream. In the dream, the doll was a beautiful human who gazed at him with large soulful eyes. He awoke feeling dazed, and as he looked at the doll under the light of the midnight moon, he almost mistook the doll for that lovely person. As he inhaled his dreamy breath, he pondered about what his auntie said. 

He started to take care of the doll, each day hoping that it would become the human it had became in the dream. But days passed by, and no matter what he did, how many times he combed its hair, there would not be any smile curling on its lips. 

He soon gave up, thinking that he had better things to do with his time. Pretty soon his action figures were flying around the room again. Although this doll no longer was that evil character, it was a very lonely doll. The glimmer in its eyes got sadder, and sadder.

Soon, Tetsu grew up. It happened with time, not any faster or slower than it was for anyone else, but it seemed all too soon to the eternity of the doll. 

The time came for Tetsu to move, so he and his family cleared out things which were unwanted. Tetsu, who had grown to the age of sensibility, had many of his old toys thrown into a box ready for the trash site. He kept his favorite machines and action figures, however, because there was a part of him which remained a child. 

As he looked at the doll, there was a strange sense of nuetrality, as if it would be better off belonging to that box of trash. He didn't remember the dream; he only remembered how much he wanted it to become a human, and how it never did. He couldn't see the expression in its eyes, because he refused to look, and so he shut the lid of the box.

It was left in the old house, when they were finished with all the boxes. Left there, all alone, all in the dark.

Tetsu gained many new friends at his new place. People of his age usually had their lives circulated around friends, and Tetsu had many of them. He had more than enough activities to take up his mind of that doll sitting in the box, groping tearfully for its way out to have a glimpse of his face again. He was happy, and as healthy as he could ever be.

And then, his aunt who had given him the doll came to visit again. She was no longer the happy, simplistic woman; she had seen too much of the world, she had lived too long. Yet she still greeted him as gently as he remembered for the eight years he had not seen her.

"Tetsu, do you have Hyde by your side?"

"Hyde?" Tetsu couldn't remember. 

"The doll I gave you eight years ago." The expression on her face was sad, and aged. 

"...That doll! I left it in the old house..." Tetsu murmured. "I'm sorry..."

"Why did you leave such an important thing back there?" His aunt grieved, as if it had been her heart which he had left. Seeing his worried expression, she smiled, "It's not me. It's that doll. Please do find it again, as it's your most important thing. You are more important to it than anything else, child. If there is anything which is important to you, it is the thing which feels that you are most important."

Hearing her words, the dream immediately floated back into his mind, like whispers in the wind. Pretty soon, he understood what his aunt had meant. 

If he had never understood, what tragedy would it be? 

If he had never persued, would he still be happy as he was until one day, to find that his life was lacking of something sweet and holy?

He never knew. His heart knew more than to let itself be regretful of abandoning another chance. He raced back to that old house, to find the doll there.

Crying real, crystalline tears. .. He held it as if it was a fading life in his arms.

"I remember your name... It's Hyde." he murmured. And he finally closed his eyes, wondering where he had been all along. This doll was indeed made for him, as his aunt had said... .

"And I too... Tetsu, your sweet voice of that dream," Whispered a beautiful voice. Tetsu turned around, to find the doll turning transparant in his arms, and slowly, as ungraspable as time itself. "You're here... Finally."

Instead, those little light beads which seemed to gather, and shine as strongly as miracles. They blossomed, and Tetsu blinked once - twice... 

Those light merged into one, to a wavering figure. 

And then they disappeared, leaving a person who shone almost as bright in presence.. .. That person of the dream, with long, silky silvery-brown hair, large, striking deep pools of gems, gentle, loving petals.. .

"You... You're finally here."

"No, we are finally together." 

Tetsu couldn't stop that overflowing emotion from his heart, and he let it flow from within himself to that figure in front of him. As they embraced, he breathed in this sweet smell, heard that voice which sounded like music - and he wondered so many things.

***

"Tetchan! what are you doing here?" His classmate asked, poking him on the spine.

His eyes opened wide, and blinked once, and then twice. "....uh?"

"I said, what are you doing?" 

"...Breathing." He smiled. 

"Breathing?" A surprised laughter arose. "You're a joker, Tetchan!"

"...Breathing is a wonderful thing, but we're doing it all the time. I thought I would appreciate it once in a while... Before I dont have a chance to breathe." He patted his friend on his shoulder. "Isn't it true?"

"I guess! You're strange, Tetchan." 

He laughed. "Maybe, maybe not. If there isn't any strange person, there will not be normality."

"I wonder how Hyde can stand you!" He laughed again, this time teasingly at Tetsu.

"....It's his fault. Speaking of which, he must be preparing dinner." He paused. ".....if he isn't here, we don't need to eat at all..."

"Tetchan!"

"....haha! okay... I'm sorry. Your turn to talk... You must appreciate this very much, don't you?"

"Shut up! .. .hahaha"

"hahahaha...."

hidoko Matsumoto
http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk