White Feathers [part 2]

Friday, November 17, 2000 7:16:14 PM

Xz0ner
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Notes: Thanks to those who commented.

Disclaimer: Dear L'Arc~en~Ciel members, please sue me so that I know you read my fic. I'd be really proud. Offer valid to L'Arc~en~Ciel's members only. While stocks last.

Notes to Mehri
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The sunlight poured in comfortably. It seemed to bathe them both in a feeling of normality; they welcomed it like it was their oldest friend. A red figure stood by the balcony, his hands propping his face—a face so delicate and pale that it was almost translucent.

Another sat in the room, right beside the canopied bed. In front of him was a stand that artists used for sketches and paintings. His figure hardly moved; except for the little detailed movements of his hand, dipping here and there carefully with that brush. Once in a while his head would move, and the light would make a perfect glint off his whitish blonde hair, illuminating his presence.

In another corner of the room, a lonely bird stood on the support provided by the wood in the cage. Once or twice, it would chirp. Its voice was lovely, and came out in melodious tunes.

After a while, the redhead went to that bird, with a hand held out, and gently brushed against it, his hand passing through the metal easily. The bird stayed still, as if it could feel something special, and it chirped some more. The artist looked up, and smiled at both the redhead and the bird. He parted his lips, and his voice pierced through the calm silence, "Is it hungry?"

Tetsu shook his head.

"Well, I am," Hyde grinned cheerfully, as he got up from his painting. "Will you come with me to the kitchen?"

"It's not as if you can't go there yourself," the Ghost murmured.

"Then, come on," Hyde urged, as if he hadn't heard what the redhead had said. He gently put the brush together with the palette, and took them in his paint-colored hands. "Let's go."

Without another word, Tetsu followed. His long white dress flowed as he walked, as did his lovely red hair. As if he hadn't seen the chair, he walked towards it. Where one would normally stumble and fall, he gracefully passed by it with no hindrance.

Days, weeks, maybe months passed by. It was impossible to keep track, mainly because time was so trivial. Hyde made more paintings, none of Tetsu anymore, because it had been a sacred thing to make. Ken dealt with his paintings; it seemed as if he was starting to make a name in the artist world, so Ken had told him.

He was surprised, when one day, there was a few forwarded letters waiting for him in the mailbox.

He hardly opened it at all; only when he saw the dire need to clear it of its cobwebs. No one sent him any mail, and he didn't expect to receive any. He was no great artist, just a minor one. Even so he wasn't sure if painters like him got fan mails. It seemed like a mangaka thing to get fan mails. Besides, he hadn't any work published…

The first letter struck him half-dead. With trembling hands, he had opened the second one, and the third one, and whatever there was. Most of them said they loved his work in "FLA". It seemed to be some sort of art magazine, he reflected; he purchased one or two copies before and had them stuffed in one of the shelf back at Sakura's house.

Sakura's house—he could think of that name, without pain anymore.

He almost danced back to the house, and gave Tetsu a big wide grin as soon as he saw the Ghost who sat on the bed, looking puzzled.

"What happened," he asked, almost sounding bored.

"I got…" Hyde breathed. "Fan mail!"

"Fan mail?"

"Look!" Hyde plunged at the bed, and almost dropped the letters onto the pillow. He held them up to the Ghost, so that he too could see it clearly, "They love my work!"

"Congratulations," Tetsu replied earnestly, and made way for Hyde beside him.

"I don't remember having my work submitted to FLA though." Hyde murmured, as if something struck him. "…I never even thought of it. Who can it be…? Ken! This must be it."

"The one with the naked girl—" Tetsu was reading. "Holding an apple was really lovely…"

"I never drew a naked girl holding an apple," Hyde seemed confused for a moment, then he burst out laughing. That extracted an impatient smirk from Tetsu. He finally controlled it, and wiped his tears away. "It's you."

"I'm not a girl."

"They mistook you, I suppose," Hyde grinned, as he straightened the folded paper in front of the skeptical Ghost. "You should read the rest of that letter, it's hilarious."

"Whoever she may be, my heart is with her. My love is as deep as the sea….." Tetsu's eyes grew wider, as his murmurs fell silent. When he lifted his head, his face was a mask of danger. "This person is crazy!"

Hyde giggled, and cross-examined the letter. "From anonymous, with a reply envelope included. You have a secret admirer, Tetsu! A good poet at that! Not an original poet, but one who can at least do similes."

Tetsu looked ready to kill, when Hyde pulled out another from under the pile. He grinned, and held it out to Tetsu, who read it as if he was anticipating encountering bones in his throat.

"Do you have anything to say to that person?"

Tetsu looked up meaningfully at Hyde. "What is there to say?"

"I can write back and tell him to fuck off or something. Tetsu's mine!" Hyde joked, and the Ghost shot him a dirty glance. He smiled sweetly, and stared at it intently.

"….Wha…What….?" Tetsu stammered, as a slight pink filled his lifeless cheeks.

"You're beautiful, Tetsu…" He whispered, as if he had been entranced by something suddenly. Just as quickly and suddenly, he blushed and turned his head. "Nothing… What should I write to them?"

Tetsu remained speechless, but slowly his frown curled into a sweet smile. "….However you feel."

Hyde looked back into his face, and grinned cheerfully. "Un…"

The two of them fell silent for some time, as Hyde picked up his pen and began to write, with feelings deep in his heart, trying to sound as professional as he could; while Tetsu watched, through those curves of lowered eyelids. The day slowly drew into a night, and neither of them realized that until the room had darkened considerably. Hyde put away his letters, there were still quite some unanswered ones; he'd taken so much effort in trying to convey his gratitude to them.

Pieces of those written words were still floating around his mind as their routine continued, as he was sketching Tetsu's lovely face, as he was nearing sleep…

That morning, Hyde had received a call from Ken. It was almost a routine call, something obligatory from an elder to make sure that the younger took care of himself well.

"…I received a call," started Ken, sounding busy even over the telephone, with sound of rustles and bustles. "It's from Le Ciel Art Academy…"

"Eh?" Hyde was surprised. "Tell me more, Ken-chan!"

"Uh… Well, I got your work published in the monthly art magazine FLA."

"I got fan mails, Ken," Hyde piped up, interrupting his cousin's words.

"That's great, Hyde… I didn't think… Oh yeah, I had to give the publisher your address. I hope you don't mind." He was almost positive that he could hear Ken's grin over the phone. "Some FLA guy approached me after the art gallery thing. Don't you remember having to sign some paper while you were there?"

"I remember," Hyde nodded. Of course he did. It was the first time that Hyde Kitamura's name had actually been mentioned in one of the modern art museum's halls. When Ken had called him about it, the two of them were almost stammering with joy. After that, for two weeks straight, Hyde hadn't been able to concentrate on anything, because his head was in the clouds, daydreaming about what might happen and who might see his work. The paper, however, had confused him, and he hadn't given it a second thought.

"Well, what I did was allow them to feature your old art, and they did so in the recent issue already. Didn't they send you the cheque?"

"I know," Hyde replied. "I just found it in the mailbox today, after the fan mails."

"Ah," Ken sounded satisfied. "About the Le Ciel thing—They actually saw your old works in FLA, and they liked it."

"Really…. What do they want?" Hyde waited for the good response.

"They're offering you a scholarship," Ken said, and waited for the cheerful outburst.

"….What…?" Hyde sounded unbelieving, but it was not unhappily so. "They… Scholarship… In Le Ciel?"

"Yes," Ken's beam almost seeped into his voice in the telephone. "In Le Ciel."

"That's…." Hyde lapsed into silence with a loss of words. With that silence, euphoria drowned, and suddenly he was reminded of something. Lifting his head, he could see the house, standing ever so solemn up the hill. The balcony with its unfolded panes, with the curtains withdrawn. There were the gates, the trees which he visited once in a while, that long, lonely road down…

What would he have done without it…?

A picture floated into his mind, of utter desolation; Tetsu standing by the panes, watching the scene through the tiny crack he had allowed them to hold. Sunlight poured in through that gap, lighting the feathers which had crawled their way down the bed, onto the floor, and rolled towards just to get a glimpse of.

Yet another picture drifted in. It was the same room, from the same angle, with the same person. Except, a bird chirped sadly in a corner, fluttering its wings against the cage disquietingly. Except, the panes were unfolded, and the sunlight flooded in, like Hyde had always meant it to be, and the curtains which rested by the sides lifted with the wind. Something lay on the bed, something shrouded with a white, stainless cloth, seeming like a portal from day to night. Tetsu would walk towards it, his expression of a melancholy which Hyde couldn't bear to see.

The feeling was the same, even if the scene had changed. Maybe it would be worse…

He didn't want to leave…..

Home….

It hadn't been the house which was home….. It was…

"…I can't…..Ken….. I can't…."

"Wha…Why?!" Ken almost demanded. "It's every artists' dream to enter Le Ciel!"

"Because…" Hyde tried to bring himself to reply, knowing that he couldn't explain how he really felt no matter how he tried… "My inspiration is here. Ken, I can't go."

"I don't understand," Ken said in immediate response. "If you entered Le Ciel, your chances would be so much greater, people would acknowledge you better. A piece of paper, a namesake makes so much difference."

Hyde smiled sadly, closing his eyes for a brief moment. His hands unknowingly clutched the bag of groceries tightly, until it seemed like his fingers were claws waiting to penetrate the frail paper. "…I can't."

"Listen, Hyde…I don't want you to become an old man sitting in a corner of that stupid house painting till the last minute of your death, looking all tired and haggard and feeling cold and hungry. I want you to be somewhere, Hyde… You're talented. I know you'll be able to do it, with a boost—"

"Ken."

"I've told them I'd arrange a meeting of them with you. Come over next Monday, we have a lot to discuss. Are you coming?"

"…" He sighed resignedly. "I'm coming."

"Then, please think this over. It's a really rare chance." Ken sounded so concerned; Hyde wished he could change his mind. "Well, I'll call you tomorrow about the details of the arrangement of that day, okay?"

"Un."

"See you… Bye." The dead dial sounded, and Hyde switched it off in response.

"Ken… You don't understand," Hyde whispered, wishing that Ken could hear it. "…It's not so easy to find your home…"

Like glass, was the transparency of the atmosphere that reigned in the room.

The thick, heavy eyelashes of the painter's brushed gently against his own beatific curves as he slept peacefully, while the Ghost watched, with shimmering eyes, as a semi-transparent hand drew out to caress his cheek. A slight blush rose on that pale surface, and Tetsu immediately drew his hand away. Hyde was feigning sleep, the idiot.

Suddenly, Hyde's eyelashes fluttered, as his eyes opened.

"Hontou na baka," Tetsu murmured, tearing his gaze away from the blonde as soon as their eyes met.

"You're sweet, Tet-chan," Said the boy, and he grinned. He would have latched onto Tetsu and won't let go—if he could. But he sobered suddenly, and the corners of his lips weighed down.

Tetsu sensed it immediately, and he had been with Hyde long enough to know when to not be numb. He gathered his gaze back, and leaned closer. "…eh?"

"I…." Hyde faltered, even though he still faced the Ghost's gaze. "…Nothing."

"…..It's none of my business anyway," Tetsu shrugged, even though his eyes continued to linger on the blonde's face.

"….Will you be here forever and ever?" He finally had the courage to ask.

"I'll be here…." In the Ghost's eyes flashed a slight sadness, and then it blinked away. "…What nonsense are you sprouting?"

"…I don't wanna separate from you….." Hyde murmured, his eyes fixed on Tetsu; it seemed as if the Ghost would simply vanish if he ever closed his eyes.

Gently, this time, the Ghost smiled, resting his head against the veiled metal of the canopy bed. He wanted to ask why, and finally it escaped from his lips with a genuine gesture. "…Why?"

With that, Hyde grinned cheerfully. It was a forced cheerfulness; Tetsu could see that easily. His brows furrowed, as he heaved a sigh, and lay down onto the mattress.

"Idiot."

There was a double-sided meaning to that which Hyde saw, and he laughed, "Because I wanna be here to irritate you for ever and ever!"

Tetsu frowned, his cheeks a slight pink once more, as he glanced away. Long wisps of red hair flowed with that slight movement of his head, as Hyde watched, amazed by the liquidity of that flaming waterfall.

He chuckled, this time softly to himself.

"…What?" The Ghost demanded, large eyes narrowing into dangerous slits.

"Nothing," He continued giggling.

"……." Annoyed, Tetsu once more ignored him, until a pale hand reached forward to caress his cheek. An instinct told him to jerk away, yet he didn't move, as he traced his gaze back towards the blonde.

"…If I died, Tetsu…. Will I be with you forever?"

That phrase rang in the tranquillity, and Tetsu's eyelids lowered to cast vivid shadows across those limpid pupils. "…….Don't be an idiot," He commanded.

If death was the toll of living, he would die a hundred times again to live through this life, while keeping all the previous mistakes intact. If this was the life that he could live again and again….

If death meant that he didn't have to bear the toll of living….

"…I'm going to town tomorrow, don't miss me."

"I won't miss you," The Ghost replied indignantly. Then his brows furrowed in confusion, as if sensing that Hyde was trying to say something.

"I got admitted for Le Ciel Art Acedemy," he continued, ignoring Tetsu's previous response, "and…. If I'm really getting in, I'll have to stay at the dorm."

"…..That's good…" Tetsu murmured, drawing a tight smile on his lips. "You're getting really recognized."

"You're so kind, Tetsu," He allowed that smile to wash over him like the early sunlight. It was sweet, and so warm…. "I think I would much rather stay here."

"…Why?" It had sounded so shocked that Hyde felt amused.

"Why?" Hyde laughed, not being able to tear his gaze away from the Ghost's beauty, "…Because… My home is here."

"If you move there, your home will be changed," Tetsu reasoned, his voice soft and calm.

"No, you don't understand…." His voice almost cracked, just like his heart. Didn't Tetsu know? Didn't Tetsu know that his home would never be changed? Hadn't they talked about it? Hadn't Tetsu really understood, back then…? "You don't after all, do you…?"

"……Hyde…."

"Or don't you care enough to understand?"

The Ghost froze in shock upon seeing such a vulnerable side in the man, and he blinked, once, twice…

Hyde's lips curled up in a dry smile. "…You don't."

The tranquillity was shattered, as the blonde turned to run away, out of that room. And all Tetsu could do was stare stupidly while guilt pounded on his chest viciously.

It was hard to keep his heart from throbbing so painfully when he realized that home was a mere illusion.

He buried his face into his knees, hoping that those tears wouldn't be too apparent when he lifted his face finally. He remembered how the sky remained above, ever-changing yet forever existing. This hadn't changed even though he had changed; even though he realized that everything was but a dream.

"…..Hyde."

He looked up, surprised to see the Ghost hovering behind him. "…What are you doing here….?"

"…I thought I'd find you here," Tetsu smiled gently. Hyde hadn't seen that smile so radiant before; it seemed as if the Ghost was an angel sent from heaven to heal him all of a sudden.

"I didn't think you'd come," Hyde murmured frankly. Tetsu noticed with surprise that his cheeks were damp.

"……I came, Hyde, didn't I?" He sat down gracefully beside the blonde man.

Hyde nodded, wondering if he knew how many nights and days had passed, because the Ghost had never changed once. It was just there, like the sky.

"…."

"… .."

Silence fell over them like sprinkled dust, and the two of them sat together, just like that. Both of them were trying hard to think of something, but neither of them had anything to say.

Everything was jumbled up, for them.

Outside the birds whirled by; crows with their big, strong wings spread apart. Gracefully and mercilessly, like an hourglass where sand continued to fall.

Hyde lay his head back, and finally murmured, "I'm hungry."

"….Then eat, silly," Tetsu replied, still smiling.

It seemed to have influenced Hyde as well, for his frown was gone and what replaced it was a joyful smile.

"Well?" The Ghost waited.

He made a V-sign, grinning cheerfully once more. "You are even sillier than I am!"

"What?!"

He giggled happily as he ran out of the room, like a little young girl playing catch with a brother.

"……Perhaps," Tetsu whispered, even though Hyde was long gone by then. He 'walked' towards the door where Hyde was waiting for him, and both of them began to venture towards the kitchen. "…Are you going to stay long at the town…?"

"I…." Hyde lowered his head. "I'm not going to study there if I have to stay there…."

"…It's your chance, Hyde…." The Ghost's brow furrowed. "You can't just stay here because….."

"Because…" Hyde laughed. "….I told you, haven't I?"

"….Idiot," Tetsu scolded, even though that wistful smile drifted onto his lips again. "Biiiig idiot."

The reason Hyde didn't fit into the city was this: he had no friends. Ever since he stepped into the city, nostalgic reminiscences brought about a sense of hatred, of dryness. He hated the city, because the people were all undistinguished, all gray. Anyway he felt sure that it was the same way that everyone else thought him to be.

Now as he stepped into the city again, it was the same old gray asphalt, the same old metallic cars, the same old mechanical humans. He hated everything that there was there.

Maybe to say hate would have been extreme. But the overwhelming dryness had almost dehydrated him. That didn't have to do with his having no friends, except that he was depressed half the time when he was there.

He tried not to think about his first and only friend.

Sakura had been a person who understood him well, who knew the way it all worked. He was scheming, with a crooked sense of humor, and he smoked Seven Stars. He was the only person who could accept Hyde's dark beauty, who could peel away all of Hyde's skins and masks and reveal Hyde's real self.

Then again, Hyde reflected, he was always a person who was just waiting to be understood. It was just that no one cared enough to.

Hyde knew how it was like to be the only one sitting by the playground as a child, while children whispered things behind his back. And then sometimes, someone would throw sand at him. He never forgot the face of that bully, but he had also forgotten his hatred and his dread. He wasn't a person who bore long-lasting hatred; there was no energy in him to do so. He tried to figure out why people were blind, and simply concluded that it was because they wanted to be happy.

He never was really happy until he was set free. By Sa—

It had almost been like finding a part of himself……….

"Fuck," He murmured. His head was beginning to throb. He lowered his gaze, so that he stared directly at the map. He had been to the office so many times and he still lost his way.

He always lost his way.

But Sakura would always bring him around.

Now he began to become really unhappy. He wanted to be missing Tetsu and not dwelling in Sakura's memories. Murmuring another curse word, he lifted his head to see if the buildings were familiar. They weren't really; they all looked the same in the gleaming sunlight.

He hated the way light reflected off everything there; it was too glaring.

He realized that another thing about the city was that he always felt compelled to curse when he was there. He never used it to anyone; it was more to himself as a self-expression.

The one-price shop. He saw it and immediately turned to its opposite direction, hoping that it was the correct one-price shop. It probably was. It was the same view as he had remembered—even though all views were so similar he couldn't really tell them apart—so he began to trudge towards the building. Ken should be there. Maybe he should have made a phone call. He didn't like making phone calls.

Sakura worked at a similar place, more as a small staff. He was good at English; relatively. That was why they hired him, other than the fact that he seemed strong and healthy.

…And he hated it, being self-conscious, that is. He wasn't much of a head-turner if he put on a hat and camouflaged with the rest. With blonde hair and Caucasian features, people stared at him with the eyes of a foreigner. He wasn't sure if it was because he seemed foreign or because his mother was one; he was related to Ken by a cross-marriage in the family. Little did he know that it was simply because he was small and beautiful and stuck out like a sore thumb.

Having reached the building, he felt sure that it was the correct place. Nothing seemed to have really changed. He expected to see Ken appearing the same way he was the last he'd seen him; he was right after he had went to the clerk and announced that he wanted to see Ken and that he was Hyde Kitamura. Ken's office was still the same as he had remembered it to be, too. He felt safe now.

"Long time no see, Hyde." Ken's arms were stretched out, and Hyde gave him an unabashed hug. They wouldn't have done it if anyone else was around.

"…Ken-chan~ I missed you!" Hyde grinned as soon as he saw his big cousin.

Ken laughed jovially. "I didn't think you'd have that big a reaction—unless you fancy me?"

Hyde thwapped him on the shoulder playfully and stuck his tongue out. "It's been a month!"

They moved towards Ken's table, and Hyde sat down in front. They began to talk, of all things from every aspects of life—and art. Of course, Tetsu was a major topic. Ken had asked about Tetsu quite some time ago, and Hyde refused to reply. This time, Ken asked again, and Hyde was so happy to see Ken that he voluntarily told everything to him.

Of course, he didn't tell him that Tetsu was a Ghost.

There were so many things to talk about, but in truth everything was unnecessary. Hyde ended up lapsing into silence, and the two of them sat there, enjoying each other's presence.

"…Well…" Ken started, looking up awkwardly at Hyde. "If you really don't want to leave Tetsu, why don't you let him come here with you?"

Hyde shook his head, unable to reply. He couldn't have said, "Tetsu is a Ghost and you can't bring a Ghost to town, you know." He just sat there speechless with a dumfounded expression on his face.

"His parents wouldn't let him?" Ken gently supplied.

Having been found an excuse—even if it was a lame one—Hyde nodded vigorously. Ken laughed and patted him on his head.

"The meeting's scheduled for tomorrow. Is there anywhere you wanna go?" Ken offered, raising his shoulders. "I've put off everything else for today and tomorrow."

"I'm sorry," Hyde apologized, extracting a lifted eyebrow from Ken.

"Don't be."

"Okay." Hyde laughed, half relieved. "Well…. I think I would like to go to the takopachi stand. You know, the one that we always went to."

Ken smiled, standing up to put on his jacket. "Then…. Let's go."

The ride there did not take much time, and Ken seemed to be familiar with the way. Even the aunt who cooked there seemed unfamiliar although she recognized them as the "blonde boy and his cousin" from once upon a time.

"How much you've grown up," She commented repeatedly, so much that Hyde felt truly grown up although he still felt mildly uncomfortable at being referred to as "boy".

"Gee, I'm not sure if I had," Hyde stated in a neutral tone, and the aunt nodded.

"You're so short!" She exclaimed. "But taller than you used to be."

Hyde briefly wondered how senile this aunt was, since he'd always gone to this stand nearly every time he visited Ken. And the times he went with Sakura…

Sakura. Now that thought chilled him to the bone. At the same time, the city towered over almost predominantly, and he heard the insane rumble from its innards.

The city's guts.

A rumble that said it was ready to consume yet another soul again.

"I wonder if she knows what's sarcasm," Hyde whispered into Ken's ears.

"I'm sure she's well-versed with it," Ken replied.

Hyde found himself raising an eyebrow and smiling. His cousin was too cool, especially at times like this. Times when one could share adult humour and then revert to wide-eyed sobriety and then mentally migrate to childishly slapstick humour. Not that the last one came about nowadays, not with the lack of green fields for them to have a rumpus through each morning.

They finished their food, and then took a stroll down the night scene of the city. The nocturnal scenes were too bright for Hyde's taste—he'd grown too used to the room where the Ghost and he resided. He'd grown too used to having the night dawn upon him and still not switch on the light, simply because there was a Ghost that illuminated the room, like candlelight.

Tetsu was his candlelight.

Hyde suddenly felt a slight shift of air as he staggered on, nausea consuming him.

All this while, the city towered over him, its rumble resounding over and over and over and over and over and…

"Ken… I'm not feeling well… We'd… better go back, right." Hyde uttered, putting his hand to his head to ensure that he wasn't about to collapse.

"What's wrong?" Ken asked, reaching out to support Hyde.

Hyde shook himself away from Ken's touch, mistaking it for Sakura's for one moment.

"If I stay here some more, I'll paint start painting like Munch," He smiled. "It's okay, Ken. I think I'll go back… To where Tetsu is."

"You're totally gone, Hyde." Ken shook his head, "If you end up being rejected like him throughout your early life, don't say I didn't warn you when you grow older."

"So be it, Ken. All of them are rejected when the movement starts, Munch or not." Hyde's stomach churned, and he clutched it tightly. He smiled, closing his eyes, "So be it."

The air remained crisp where the Ghost was, and he felt alive. The house was breathing, breathing through him. He stood upright, flitting through the rooms, wondering why the house felt as silent as it did then. As the night gale howled through the window, he wondered why he noticed the surroundings more than ever. It was strange, since he'd been a part of it since… long ago.

Outside, the night was shrouded by fog. Tetsu remembered how it would have looked like had it been a clear day—dark, yet enthralling, as the stars shimmered over the land and the moonlight illuminated each curve.

And still, though the night was deathly, the house breathed through him.

Tetsu closed the panes of the balcony (not through the conventional way), and wondered what the city was like. In his entire life he had never heard of the city, and he thought he never would, except occasionally in Mashiro's mentions of travel.

He moved towards the cage, where Snow was asleep. Had Hyde forgotten about it? Tetsu didn't know what to do. Hyde'd put almost an entire bucket (overt exaggeration) of seeds into the tiny bowl, coupled with yet another bowl of water.

Tetsu brushed his hands across the bird's back, and it shivered. Yet it didn't stir; it didn't seem startled.

Time passed by slowly. Tetsu was hardly aware of time; each day they passed by the way they did, and Tetsu never took notice of it, not until after Hyde came. Like the bird. He'd watched Hyde move in the day, he watched Hyde sleep at night. He'd watched over him, like how he watched over the bird, not being able to do anything. Merely watching.

Suddenly there was a sound of the door opening. It was barely a sound, barely a movement that Tetsu felt. It was a movement, nonetheless.

He fluttered gently down the stairs, smiling as he thought that Hyde'd came back. Time would seem less surreal then.

"That idiot," He whispered. Yet somehow it didn't felt right; it didn't feel like Hyde. But who would come here at any time of the day?

Anticipating… Home. Hyde.

Yet a black-haired man sprung suddenly out of nowhere.

"Who are you," Tetsu said coldly. He'd lost all of his fury, and could calmly speak to a stranger now.

The man blinked, and staggered backwards, in surprise. "You…" He said slowly, "You're a ghost?"

"Who are you," Tetsu repeated.

"You're Hyde's friend?"

Tetsu slowly nodded. Considering the amount of time they spent quarreling and chasing each other out of the room, it was a wonder if they called themselves friends. Well, give or take, he decided. Give or take.

"I didn't know you're a ghost," Said the man earnestly. "What's your name?"

Tetsu had to give this man credit for being the first, besides Hyde, to see him and still not lose his composure. "You haven't told me yours."

"Sakura."

"Sakura," Tetsu repeated. He allowed himself to smile, "I'm Tetsu."

This was so different that Tetsu almost wanted to laugh.

Hyde'd screamed, and but as Tetsu laughed maniacally, he'd stopped being hysterical.

The sunlight that caressed both Hyde and he lingered in his mind. The day that they met, it was such a miracle and so memorable. And such a comical event, that Tetsu himself felt inclined to not remember it.

"I hope you don't mind if I stay here."

Tetsu shook his head, thinking that a) Sakura was Hyde's friend, b) Sakura didn't seem as annoying as Hyde was, c) Sakura couldn't possibly harm him and d) Sakura actually asked him for permission.

Sakura advanced upstairs, switching on the light as he did so. Tetsu blinked; the way the lights flooded the room was both rude and vulgar. Sakura glanced at him once.

"Switch it off," He commanded.

"Sorry," Sakura switched it off.

Had it been Hyde, he thought, Hyde would have conveniently ignored him and then both of them would get into an argument.

Tetsu floated after Sakura, as he threw open door after door.

Both of them came to the third storey, and again Sakura threw open the doors.

"Is this where you and Hyde reside?" Sakura asked, as he saw the while room illuminated by Tetsu's (literal) radiance.

"…Un." He said.

Sakura stepped in. He saw the bird, the bed, the canvases that never seem to be properly taken care of, and the luggage. And then there was the balcony.

"It's a lovely place. Can I stay here?"

Tetsu was reluctant, but he nodded anyway. There wasn't any reason to prohibit this newcomer from staying where Hyde did, although Tetsu felt slightly uneasy when it came down to this.

Sakura lay down on the bed, propping a leg up, "So how'd you know Hyde?"

Tetsu chuckled as he thought of the time they met, "He moved in."

Sakura laughed. "Just like that? You welcome strangers really well, don't you?"

"Not really," Tetsu laughed harder, "He was afraid of me at first." More or less.

"Really? He's afraid of something?" Sakura grinned, and Tetsu had to laugh at that. Both of them knew Hyde well enough to understand the meaning behind this statement.

Hyde stayed at his hotel after some persuasion. He was going to stay till he met the people from Le Cial, and this generally meant he was going to endure the city for yet another day. Somehow it seemed empty, but real. All too unfortunately real for him.

The nausea had gone away, but what replaced it was a heavy touch of nostalgia. He took out his sketchbook and doodled sketches of Tetsu. He'd been so familiar with Tetsu's face that no matter how distorted it was, it still looked like Tetsu. That soft gentility, that warmth, that confused vulnerability, that lovely being.

Soon an image was stuck in his head, an image that jumped out of nowhere and latched onto him like inspiration.

He took out his HB pencil. He drew Tetsu with it, the gentle shade and curves. Then he took out a 6B pencil, and darkened it all.

He titled it The Ghost In My Room. Maybe he would paint it. He hadn't decided what medium he wanted to use yet. Would it be oil, or acrylic?

He went to sleep with the pencils strewn across the bed. A deep, restless sleep where nightmares that didn't have a place in consciousness occurred.

Dawn permeated through the soft membranes of night, and her radiance persisted through the shell of curtains. Slowly, Hyde cracked open one eye, and then the other. He sat up right, and wondered hence whether he was going to meet the people from Le Ciel.

The phone rang; it was Ken's morning call.

He picked it up. "Yes, Ken, I'll be coming right down."

"Call me when you get there, okay?"

Hyde wondered if he should have gotten a new mobile phone, but decided against it. First, there was only Ken whom he wanted to talk to, which wasn't a substantial number of people. Second, Ken was very bad with phone numbers; he gave them to everyone else. Pretty soon, Hyde would have a dozen fans calling him reciting love poetry to his Tetsu. Third, he didn't want a thousand million annoying things to plague him through the serene life out of the city.

His Tetsu. Hyde wondered if he should have changed the term to Tetsu's Tetsu. Yet it didn't matter if Tetsu didn't understand, he thought. At least he did come to comfort him, even if he didn't understand Hyde.

Hyde wanted to dress shabbily that day, since he was in less of an avant-garde mode and just wanted to look the way he felt. Out of town and never about. This was the sort of person only dressed splendidly when he felt like it, even if there was nobody (except Tetsu, who didn't count as a body) to see him.

After a few seconds of thinking (when it came to Hyde-speed, it wasn't much), he pulled on a black shirt and leather pants. Not as shabby as he would have liked, but obscure enough. As he admired himself in the mirror, he thought that he looked like a sophisticated artist with a sense of unworldliness to him.

"Of course, I'm such a genius," He said to himself. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Biiiig idiot!"

He was lonely, all right. Tetsu wasn't around and Ken didn't have much time. He only wished that he could grasp Tetsu by the hand, and bring him everywhere he went.

The man looked slightly surprised when he saw Tetsu cuddle up next to him. Just as he was about to protest, Tetsu'd gave a confused look, and was about to argue when he shut his mouth and pretended nothing happened. Instead, the two of them slept soundly through the night. In the morning, Tetsu opened his eyes to find Sakura gazing at him. He said softly, "Do you sleep like this with Hyde every night?"

"Yes," Tetsu didn't understand why it was such a commodity.

Sakura's hand brushed through him. "You feel so strange."

"Un?"

"Like my hand's entered the realms of the nether lands." He paused, "I've seen Hyde's painting of you. It looked like that, doesn't it? That chilling moonlight, the lonely glint in your eyes… Like a spirit from in between, from the limbo."

Tetsu didn't answer. His defensive stance reflected in his eyes again. He said in a harsh tone, "Of course I'm a spirit, I'm a ghost."

Sakura laughed, "No, I don't mean that. I mean, you're so unearthly, like… Like you're… Ethereal. Yeah, that's the word. There's some essential loneliness in your eyes, almost as if it reflects the essential isolation of mankind."

"…Hyde is a good painter," He said softly.

"Yes, he is." Sakura smiled, "He painted you so well I wanted to see what you're like."

Tetsu reflected that if Hyde himself was a nut case, his friends ought to be the same. After all, there had to be reason to give due credit to old proverbs like "birds of the same feathers flock together" and "fools seldom differ". Yet there was a glimmer in Sakura's eyes that Hyde didn't have, the glimmer of a madman's eyes no doubt. Yet again there was something in it that Tetsu found it hard to comprehend. It reminded him of the way Hyde gazed at him in the early morning. Then again, Tetsu reflected, this was also morning. Maybe it was just the light.

"And I've finally seen you."

"I sound like some sort of animal in a zoo," Tetsu said, bemused. Yes, the glint in Sakura's eyes reminded him of the fascination that once reflected in his eyes when he gazed at Sasser. A long time ago, no doubt. He wondered if he'd ever forget her, his brother's wife. But it didn't really matter, after all, so long as someone else was there, in the room with him.

Sakura chuckled. His gaze lingered on Tetsu's face a second too long, and then he pulled himself up, and stretched. Tetsu watched the muscles flex, and he too sat up.

"What do you do? Paint? Like Hyde does?"

Sakura smiled, "No, I capture the hearts of ghosts."

Tetsu gave him a look.

"You see, I'm a writer. I write poetry and stuff. Basically I sling bullshit at everything I can think of."

"Uh huh."

"And I want to write about you."

He raised an eyebrow.

Sakura merely laughed, "Have you ever been in love before you've even met the person? Especially with something so insubstantial?"

Tetsu couldn't relate to the first part, but definitely did to the second. He nodded slowly.

He went on to say, "And I'm an art critic in my spare time. That's how I met Hyde. I sling bullshit at all the art pieces I came across, and he was quite impressed by me, even though the only kind of artwork that I'll ever recognize in any museum is Expressionism."

Tetsu nodded again. Well, he sure didn't become a friend of Hyde's because he was able to crap well. He didn't even know how it came about, this slow, gradual change in him.

Sakura gazed at him, and pulled out a pen and a small notebook. "…And red as red could be." He wrote it down, and pondered for a moment. The way he gazed at Tetsu made the latter uncomfortable; it resembled the way Hyde gazed at Tetsu when he was painting. "…Faint wisps, fermenting wine/ As sweet intoxication swells…"

Hyde once said that in his world, there were only three ways of painting. First was Trompe L'oeil, the classic way. Second was Wishy-Washy, which was the water colour style. And third was the ever so elegantly named Sling Bullshit. Tetsu wasn't sure if he had caught a strange glimmer in Hyde's eye as he narrated the last bit, but he was sure that there was something dear to heart about this term. Basically Sling Bullshit was about textures that involved using paint so thick it looked like shit. Van Gogh, for example, was good at that. Tetsu hadn't know what Van Gogh did; he only knew that he was an artist. Neither Mashiro nor Sasser was much of a patron of fine arts. So Hyde got Ken to send him a couple of art books, which he showed to Tetsu. He seemed to be particularly fond of Munch, Matisse and Monet, for some strange reason. Monet and Matisse was understandable (even though Hyde said that it seemed like they couldn't paint), but Munch was another matter. And Hyde maintained that his ingenuity was almost like Von Stuck's. Tetsu had never heard of any of the names except Van Gogh, but as he learnt of these painters' lives, he thought they were geniuses in their own aspects.

Tetsu felt slightly drowsy by the time Sakura was done writing on the notebook. The man seemed extra perky. Less perky than Hyde, though; no one could beat Hyde in that. Tetsu had to admit that Sakura's words were charming; there was no way he could have written the likes of it himself. Yet all the same, the term "Sling Bullshit" was stuck to his mind, and it kind of applied to Sakura's ingenuity.

Hyde often used Trompe L'oeil anyway, even though his colours somehow seemed to end up being of a strange tint or intensity. The only times when Hyde Slung Bullshit was when Hyde was really desperate and had no inspiration. It was also reserved for the time when he was frustrated with Tetsu enough to just sling paint on the canvas.

"What do you think? It's about you." Sakura seemed bashful.

"It's lovely," Tetsu said, which was the truth.

Sakura swelled visibly. "If it means I could win your heart…"

The look returned onto Tetsu's face, except he tried to suppress it this time. He turned away, and floated towards the balcony, where he gazed outside. Where was his heart?

"…Are you thinking of Hyde?"

"Probably," He admitted.

"He'll join Le Ciel. Hyde really wants recognition, you know…" Sakura stole up to Tetsu's side, and gazed at him from there.

"Well, I think he should." Tetsu sighed.

"But… Wouldn't you be here, all alone? He can't possibly leave you here alone, can he?"

A melancholic crease stole its way onto Tetsu's brow. "I guess he can."

"…"

"I mean, it's been this way all along. I've been alone since a long time ago."

"I wouldn't leave you," Said Sakura. "Even if I do, I'll come back."

Tetsu was still uncomprehending when Sakura leaned forward, his lips brushing mirage cheeks.

"…"

After a while, Tetsu said, "I don't expect you to stay."

"But I will." Sakura seemed adamant.

"If you leave, that's okay."

The two of them stood by the balcony. The ghostly gale continued lifting Tetsu's hair as if in a storm, although the breeze of late morning was calm and comforting. It gently twirled Sakura's dark strands.

"I'm hungry," Said Sakura.

"Hyde usually goes down to buy food back up so that he can cook here," Tetsu supplied.

Sakura left the balcony. He passed by the bird, which chirped in surprise. He gazed at it coolly and coldly, without a single ounce of love. It wasn't even so much as hate; it was emotionless, metallic, and chilling. Tetsu didn't catch that glance, because he was standing by the balcony, too absorbed in contemplating the recent turn of events to notice.

The meeting with the people from Le Ciel was fine. Hyde didn't like it any better than any other social functions and fungus functions, which equaled to the word "fine". When he was there, he was hoping to inch his way out, and to do so he kept reminding himself that he wasn't going to say yes at any rate. But by some feverish fervour, added up with Ken's due nagging that resounded in his mind, he had signed the contract that stated that if they gave him a scholarship, he would work for them in turn for four years. Four years, Ken had said during their "toilet break", was a good amount of time for most scholarships. After these three years of tertiary education, and these four years of working with them, Tetsu's parents would somehow be convinced that he was trustworthy. Hyde hadn't known what to do.

After the meeting, he sat in shock in Ken's car, not saying a word and not allowing Ken to say a word. His mind was still blank, and his mouth hang open.

"It's like I made you sign a death contract," Commented Ken. "It'll be fine, all right? I'm sure Tetsu will understand."

Hyde hadn't replied.

Dawn came, and Tetsu was singing elsewhere in the house. Sakura didn't mind when he was around, unlike the eccentric Hyde, but Tetsu didn't like being around Sakura as much as Hyde. Sakura didn't fawn over the dear little Snow, and neither did he crack jokes nor make fun of Tetsu. He didn't have so much as a soul. All that ever came out of his mouth was how much he thought of Tetsu, from the lovely hair to the lovely voice. Tetsu always wondered if Sakura was gone case. He would have liked to escape Sakura as much as possible.

"Ah, I found you, at last!" Sakura exclaimed, as he threw open the door of one of those.

Tetsu turned around. "Why are you searching for me?"

"I need my muse, my inspiration," He grinned.

Tetsu didn't react. He merely stood there, in silence.

"Do you miss Hyde?"

"A little," Tetsu said. He floated past Sakura, back up towards the room strewn with white feathers. Hyde had always complained when he floated; he said it was scary. So Tetsu chose to stride most of the time. But now, he was free. Slightly.

Hyde knew he had to keep true his promise much as he didn't want to. Ken'd said he'd ask someone to help him bring his luggage and canvas over, and Hyde said he'd appreciate the help, just arrive a day after him so that he could sort things out first. Ken'd agreed; Hyde's helper would meet him at the train station.

Hyde took some time to pack his luggage. He dragged himself here and there because he was tired, and when he was finally done, left the hotel room and checked out, he realised that he'd forgotten his wallet. He went back and told the people in charge, but obviously no one knew what he was talking about. They asked every cleaner lady about the wallet, but they said they didn't see it. Finally, Hyde, immobile without any money, had to call for Ken's help. Ken was going to send a messenger with money and told Hyde to get a new wallet.

Hyde waited at the lobby for hours on end, cursing his fate and forgetfulness and the evil of human nature. When people saw money they wouldn't hesitate to spend it at others' expense, he thought bitterly. The city reminded him of how people capitalized off each other, and how he met Sakura, and how badly he was doing because he had no money to buy canvases after he left home and even paint was too expensive, until Ken said he would help.

No, he didn't like it at all. Even he was just a leech feeding off Ken, he thought bitterly. Even he had no use anywhere, at the city or at the countryside. In the city he didn't have any friends, and in the countryside he had Tetsu, but what was Tetsu? A ghost!

He fell asleep thinking about this at the hotel lobby, too busy wallowing in his own dark thoughts to notice the look that people gave him, the look that said, what are you doing here? When he finally did notice, he thought bitterly, if only they knew I'm Hyde Kitamura!

Finally the messenger arrived, after quite a bit of inner torment within Hyde. He took the money, remembered that he needed a wallet, and went to the nearest departmental store to look for a wallet. He bought a leather wallet, and headed off to the train station.

It was only on the train, hours later that he finally felt relieved, that he knew he would stop feeling so trapped and frustrated, that he knew he would be able to see his only friend (besides Ken) in the whole wide world.

In that house, the man dressed in black was writing, and the Ghost was watching him write. Occasionally they would speak, and the conversation was taut, like a string on the verge of breaking.

The Ghost felt like the whole house was alive, as if it was anticipating somebody familiar and well loved. He stood by the panes, and gazed from within, realising that he'd hoped for Hyde's presence more than he should have. It was quite an annoying thought to him, and still he peeked through the panes, watching for a familiar figure no taller than five foot three, lugging with him three large suitcases.

…And he saw it.

The figure was indeed small, and lugging a suitcase that didn't seem quite as big as the previous three, but it was him alright. For the first time, Tetsu realised that Hyde's hair had grown longer. The blonde was as whitish as it previously was, the sunlight glinting off it as if it were cold white snow. The blonde hair reached Hyde's collar, and he looked up forlornly, as a small worn smile lighted his lips.

Tetsu smiled, not knowing if it was a mirage. Yet the whole house still felt alive, as if it was truly breathing, breathing through the world.

He watched as the figure came to the pouch of the house, and Tetsu descended the stairs, leaving Sakura alone in that room.

"Tetsu!" Yelled a cheery voice.

The door opened easily, and there in the rectangular light of sunset stood the artist's silhouette.

"Hyde…" Tetsu whispered standing there almost in shock.

Footsteps clambered down the stairs, and Sakura stood at the stairway, staring at Hyde.

Hyde's eyes narrowed a little, but he didn't budge. He was immune to Sakura's presence already—time had healed his wounds, and now he was able to watch the black figure unflinchingly.

"Sakura," he acknowledged. He walked towards Tetsu, and smiled, ignoring the third party. "How's Snow?"

"It misses you," Said Tetsu, his cheeks reddening.

"Don't you?" Hyde was being a brat.

"Let's go to the room," Tetsu ignored him, and turned away.

Hyde smiled, still not once glancing at Sakura, and followed Tetsu up the stairs, to the third storey. Everything was the same—the doors, the smell. He wondered if Sakura actually cleaned the house, but that didn't seem like it. At the same time, he wondered many things… Snow, the house… And Tetsu.

A pang stabbed him when he realised that he was going to have to leave these things that he had allowed himself to endear, and with that, tears came to his eyes, tears that he didn't allow to fall.

"Hyde…" uttered Sakura, gritting his teeth in fury, as he turned away, and walked out of the house, slamming the door after him.

From the pouch, the two of them could see Sakura's form drifting away on the road, walking swiftly but going nowhere near the horizon. He disappeared down the hill slope, and Hyde heaved a sigh of relief.

"Isn't he your friend?"

"In a way… I guess," replied Hyde. Then, as if suddenly remembering something, he yelled, "Tetsu! You shouldn't believe strangers so easily! What if it was someone else? What if they harmed you?"

"How would I know!" Tetsu raised his voice a decibel louder than Hyde's, "And how could they harm me?"

"I don't know, if they had some ghost buster with them? If they knew you were a ghost and came here just to destroy you?"

"Who do you think you are, my mother?" Tetsu's pale cheeks were completely red now. He looked thoroughly angry, and flitted across the room, to sit on the bed with his back facing Hyde.

Hyde smiled. Things were still the same, after all.

Hyde stood with his arms akimbo, yelling in half amusement, "I'm going to change! Don't you dare turn around."

"Who wants to look at you anyway?" Retorted Tetsu.

For a moment, there was utter silence. And then, Snow chirped.

Hyde burst into laughter. Tetsu turned around, an eyebrow raised incredulously, and then he too burst into a smile.

"Yes, both of us are still brats," Hyde grinned, and approached Snow. He opened the cage. The bird, at first frightened, dared not approach the opening, but later, seeing that it was free to do whatever it liked, it hopped out from the cage, and gazed at Hyde gratefully. It flew over to where Tetsu was sitting, and this startled the Ghost, who smiled gently.

It chirped.

Hyde pulled the panes open, and Snow, knowing that this was its destiny, flew out of the room. A flutter of feathers were left within the room, and both Hyde and Tetsu gazed at it sorrowfully.

"It's gone."

"It's free," said Hyde, "Unlike us."

"…Yes," Tetsu lowered his head.

Hyde strode towards where Tetsu was sitting, and his lips brushed against the latter's cheeks gently. He gazed at the surprised expression of the ghost fondly, "Tetsu… I love you, don't you know that?"

"…No," Admitted Tetsu, "But I guess I missed you quite a bit."

Hyde rested himself against the bed, snuggling into the apparition that was Tetsu, and closed his eyes. Tetsu felt like the night's gale against his skin… He fell asleep, and in his dream, he held Tetsu so dearly that they never separated… The kiss that was so gentle it almost tore him apart with its beauty, and the touch was so fleeting that he felt himself crying from within, within his very soul.

It was only in dreams that they could never be separated, he thought bitterly when he woke up. The joy that the dream brought about was almost delirious, and when Hyde neared consciousness he felt something releasing from within him.

"Tetsu…" He whispered. There was a dampness between his legs, soaking through the fabric of the bed. Soaking through his heart.

The Ghost gazed at him with misty eyes, and said nothing.

"You were in my dream, aren't you?" He reached for the Ghost's cheek, and smiled, as his fingertips stopped near the gale.

"You… You're going to leave me again," said Tetsu, "You told me there."

"And you gave yourself to me as a goodbye present?" Hyde smiled sadly, and tears flickered down his very own cheeks.

"…" Tetsu's tears were luminescent, "Because I have nothing else. I'm sorry, Hyde… I'm really sorry."

Startled, Hyde gazed at the crying ghost, not sure if this was what he had truly heard from the Ghost whom he thought was most dignified and indignant. He wished that he could rush forth like in the dream, and hug him, but instead he clutched the white feathers on the bed, and cried helplessly, all the while uttering, "I'm sorry too, Tetsu, I'm sorry…"

In the morning, Tetsu was singing and Hyde was cooking his breakfast when Sakura came back into the house. Hyde had packed all of his luggage, including the three gigantic suitcases. He'd regretted asking Ken's assistant to meet him at the train station instead of the house, but in another way he was quite as satisfied with the arrangement as before; no one except him—and that annoying Sakura—would know of Tetsu.

"Hyde," called Sakura as soon as he came in, "I'll take care of Tetsu."

Hyde reared, and yelled, "Do you think you can take care of Tetsu? Am I so easily replaced? I'm sure you replaced me with someone else easily, but Tetsu's not like you!"

He tossed the egg onto the plate, set it on the table with a sharp porcelain sound, and said gruffly, "For you."

Sakura didn't take the egg. He stood there in silence, watching as Hyde prepared his own breakfast and sat down with Tetsu at the table. Tetsu hadn't even acknowledged him.

"…I'm leaving today."

"……I know… When are you coming back?"

"…When I graduate, I think…" Hyde shook his head, "I'll tell Ken to make sure that this place remains unchanged, that nobody'll ever demolish this place. It's my property."

"Yeah, right." Tetsu smiled.

"And that no jerk comes into my place," Hyde glared at Sakura, who still stood there.

"Tetsu welcomed me."

"No he didn't," Hyde retorted, glancing worriedly at Tetsu, who seemed ignorant of the tension. "Don't you dare hurt Tetsu in any way."

Silence. Hyde finished his breakfast and washed the cutlery. He gave Tetsu a goodbye kiss, pressing his own lips against the lustrous pink petals of apparition, and watched as Tetsu's expression changed.

"Don’t cry…" He smiled, and picked up his luggage, knowing that if he tried to brush Tetsu's tears away, he would be reminding Tetsu of the very origin of his pain. "I'll come back during the holidays."

He lingered for a while, not knowing what to say, and finally left the house. The door closed on its own accord, but as Sakura stood there in silence, tears rolled down Tetsu's cheeks ceaselessly.

Sakura gazed at the door with venom, "You're rich and famous now, but what have I?"

"…Sakura?" Tetsu glanced at Sakura in surprise.

"…Tetsu, I wouldn't ever leave you like he did," said the black figure.

Tetsu merely smiled.

School at Le Ciel was like high school. It wasn't the fact that he had to wear uniform that made things the same; it was just that nothing else differed at all. Hyde sat alone during the dry lectures, and he sat alone during the art practical. People grew so repressive that he gradually began to fall back, and his grades suffered as a result. He even locked himself up in his hostel and painted excessively, paintings that he would never show anyone.

One day, when he was making his way from the hostel to the main building, a car almost accidentally knocked him down. Not knowing that a lecturer drove it, he gave it a middle finger, and headed off.

That very afternoon during lunch break, as he was sitting alone by a pavilion, all alone, reading some textbook, he realised that someone was standing there, right beside him. He raised his head, to see that a man was standing there. He was taller than Hyde, and had long brown hair.

"Hi," said the man, and he sat down beside Hyde.

Hyde grew uncomfortable. He eyed this person, and they said their introductions. Apparently, this man was Yukihiro.

"I'm a new lecturer here. Now, I guess I'm supposed to tell you that this is a prestigious art school, and so you're not supposed to show your middle finger to any passing cars, and had it been anyone other than me you would have gotten into deep trouble."

Hyde inhaled sharply.

"Well, you're on scholarship. If they saw it, and if some people weren't too pleased with you, they could easily use it as an excuse."

"Okay," said Hyde, thinking I'm the one who's almost gotten knocked down! And hey, I should probably start doing this more.

"Well…. You're the one who painted Temptation, right?"

"Huh?" Hyde's mind drew a blank.

"Hyde Kitamura," grinned the lecturer, "I own a painting of yours. Apparently you've already made it before you entered Le Ciel."

"Oh." Hyde was surprised. "You mean… Which painting was it?"

"Temptation. The subject matter is this boy with long red hair, holding an apple, is that not? I must say the composition is rudimentary, but the technique wasn't bad, and it was a really beautiful piece."

It was the painting of Tetsu. "Oh… Yes."

"I'll be specializing in Trompe L'oeil, so perhaps you'll be seeing me around quite often," Yukihiro grinned, "You must have received praises about your work."

"…" Hyde didn't dare to tell him that he had in fact been doing quite badly.

"And… Who is the boy in the painting?"

"Why?" Hyde was startled. "He's Tetsu."

"Ah… He's a beautiful being," Yukihiro smiled.

Hyde studied his face; his lashes were indefinitely curled—no Asian had that kind of eyelashes by nature. And the way he was speaking and gesturing… Okay, there was some vibe. Gut feeling then told him, as realization dawned, that Yukihiro was as much homosexual as he himself was. "…Yes, he is the most beautiful being."

They discussed some more about Tetsu, and within an hour, Yukihiro knew all about how Hyde met Tetsu, in an abandoned house. He didn't know, of course, that Tetsu was a ghost, for Hyde didn't tell him. Hyde told him that Tetsu was left back there, because his parents didn't allow him to leave with Hyde. As he spoke tears flooded his eyes and for the first time in months, he began to cry.

Yukihiro hugged him, and with such warmth told him that it was all right. That Hyde and Tetsu would meet again. As Hyde looked at Yukihiro with the feeling that Yukihiro was his saviour, he realised that Yukihiro was just about as sad as he was, somehow, and that he himself didn't believe in his consoling words.

That night, they went for dinner, and Hyde let Yukihiro hold him and use him the way Sakura did. When loneliness was too much, only escapism helped, he told himself, but as he came he once again was thrown back into his dream of Tetsu, when Tetsu's pink lips encircled him.

When Tetsu gave himself to him.

He talked more and more with Yukihiro, and he found out that Yukihiro wasn't usually on top. Hyde guessed so anyway. They ended up discussing about about Michaelangelo's sexual preference ("Michaelangelo is..er, was gay!" Hyde'd exclaimed), and next morning, Hyde went back to his hostel to sleep, while Yukihiro went to lecture.

He tried to press as close to Yukihiro on the campus as possible, but Yukihiro was often surrounded by students. And it was then that Hyde realised that he wasn't needed. He allowed himself to talk to Yukihiro when time would permit, and slept with him once more on another occasion, but that was all to their friendship.

So he had allowed himself to believe, even though he'd even told Yukihiro as much as he'd allow himself to tell about himself, his ex-boyfriend (whom he didn't name), his experiences, even Ken Kitamura, and… Even Tetsu—that Tetsu was a ghost in the painting, which was as far a truth as he could manage, and that was why he'd named it Temptation in the first place.

At night, Tetsu witnessed what he deemed a strange countenance, and what petrified him ever so slightly was the fact that this occurred each and every night. It was Sakura, who had, as if possessed by the spirit of some strange notion, carressed a strange object. This object was dull and grayish brown in exterior, and box-like in nature. Tetsu sensed, by the strong intuition that a ghost has that the object was magical and defied human laws, but he had never once inquired about it; Sakura had told the story each day, growing more and more obsessed with it.

Sakura had said, in exact terms, "This is something that will turn back time in a specific space. It's not permanent, but I want to see what it's like when you're still alive. I want to have a chance to touch you, to know what it feels like to hold someone I truly love…"

Tetsu listened quietly, knowing that this was a rant that madmen would go on about. Yet in this madman's rants, he recognized something uncannily sane—and it brought about in his chest a mixed feeling. Did he still want to be alive, anymore? He wanted, indeed, to step out of the house, to step into society, the land of the living, so that he could be by a living being—Hyde.

"…And you can't be with Hyde, too, because it's only temporary."

In the madman's rants, Tetsu sensed, something sad and angry, and wholly guilty. He never asked why, until the fateful day that he did, because days of accumulation finally built curiosity up to a point that it broke loose.

"That's impossible, 'cause it's only temporary… You can't be by Hyde's side, and I'll own you, even for just a moment. I hate him, he has everything—he has your heart, doesn't he? And he's famous and all, I'm sure he's charming to you… Hyde can't paint and is colour blind—how can he actually get famous for it? I write so much, I slave myself to death, I have an obvious talent that should have been recognised… Why doesn't anyone see something in my work? Just because it takes less time to look at a picture? I'm sick of it, I'm sick of being only a sidekick—a gigolo! To some rich art professor, the high-and-mighty who thinks he's so good at the aesthetics…"

Tetsu, who had never had an idea how to comfort someone, had to say the truth. He admitted, "Hyde can paint pretty well. I think he is skillful, and he portrays objects in such a way that they feel alive."

"What do you think, then, about my writing?"

"…" Tetsu said nothing. Of the days when Sakura recited poems to him, he never once took note of the usage of language—it seemed to require some imagination, but Tetsu never quite had that much imagination to be able to transform the abstract into any recognizable form.

"…" Sakura broke down. He lifted his head, revealing a face evident in contortion, "Since I saw Hyde's painting of you, I've known that you're the only one whom I'll love so much, with such intensity… Such radiance in your being, such transience in your beauty even though immortalized by a frozen painting. I've loved you since the beginning."

"Well, if Hyde can't paint, then it wouldn't have had such a great effect, would it?" Tetsu smiled.

"…" Silence. Sakura's fingers twitched as they reached the clasp of the box for the umpteenth time, and they tightened around the box itself. "…Well, he can paint all right. But the colours are always too saturated, and the proportions never seem to be right."

Tetsu knew that he'd been with Hyde for too long as he realized that he could recall all of Hyde's art theories. "Colours can be unnaturalistic if the artist intends it to be… Anyway…" His voice softened, "I am a ghost, after all."

Sakura smiled knowingly. "Hyde's colourblind; it's just an excuse. He can sure paint, but he's not one of the best artists."

"…I wouldn't have thought of that." It was then that Tetsu knew that in reality, he knew little about Hyde. He didn't know that Hyde was colorblind. He didn't know what happened between Hyde and Sakura; he didn't know what kind of family Hyde was from; he didn't know the world in which Hyde had been nurtured in and from which Hyde emerged.

Tetsu felt that, in truth, Sakura was just jealous. He understood that feeling, because he'd felt that way when he gazed at Sasser and watched as Sasser and Masshiro embraced.

…Before he'd died.

Before he'd ended up as a ghost.

"It's just an excuse! He's not worth the attention, he doesn't even have to do much to achieve that status… All it takes is a rich cousin and strings to pull!"

Tetsu's brows furrowed, and his hand swept through the air, to hold Sakura. He'd never held someone so sincerely before, without thinking of Sasser or Hyde… He'd never held someone not because of love, but now he had. He held Sakura, and it felt like hugging himself.

"…I love you, Tetsu, my instincts are right. It doesn't take much to love someone, when you're driven insane by dejection and loneliness … I love you with more intensity than the sun's radiance."

Tetsu understood, even as Sakura's fingers pulled open the clasp, and the smoke swirled out, in visual clumps.

The last thing that Tetsu knew was that he was seeing the past again as if he was dying once more, except this time with more memories than before; with more love than before—with Hyde instead of Sasser. His heart hadn't healed; it had merely moved on, to behold another one, and then… Was it rebirth, or death? He wasn't quite sure.

All he felt certain about was his hands materializing, that he was holding another body that was shrinking in size, and as he fell, he thought he saw and felt red strands of hair fluttering against his own face, in the direction opposite to that of gravity, and that his hand had reached out in front of him and his muscles flexed as he attempted to stop himself from hitting the floor with too much a force…

***

Jin was a seventeen-year-old whose parents lived in that little town, but she herself had been used to living in the city. She came to visit, only because her Grandfather was dying and her parents were hoping to get a share of the property left behind by the old man. Her boyfriend, Jan, who was also seventeen, and her best friends, Joen and Satou, who were all seventeen, came along with her thinking it would be a nice chalet vacation with a great excursion in an artist's house.

All of them were cheerleaders in their high school, which was located near an art academy in the town. As such, when the clique of them had nothing to do, they went over to the art academy to look at paintings and snoop around for cute guys, and Jan, cute girls.

It chanced upon them that once they bought a uniform of the academy and posed as students that they could actually follow a whole bunch of other students to enter the Louvre, where photo-quality duplicates of paintings printed on canvas existed in different, exotic rooms. That was exactly what they did, and that was the turn of their ordinary lives.

Jan fell in love with a painting then and there, the painting of a lovely boy with long red hair. Jin didn't know it then, but a few months later after the incident at the Artist's House that Jan confessed to Jin that he loved that boy more than he loved her, and even Jin had to agree that she understood; it was the same for her, and both of them felt that it was so strange that one actually could fall so easily in love with somebody whom they've never seen in real life. Neither of them would want to admit, but they eventually did, that despite being surrounded by friends and relationships, they saw the loneliness of existence in a mere painting, and loneliness was the sole binding spirit that united each existence in that galaxy.

That night, Jin talked to both Joen and Satou about the painting on the phone, and the trio agreed that this painting was by far more superior than any famous paintings in any famous art movements in the sense that it seemed to breath and permeate through them. They weren't too experienced with knowing what methods were good and stuff, but they knew it when they saw something that seemed to breathe and move, and knew enough to figure out that if something in a painting seemed to breathe and move, the painting was good.

Jan had friends in the Art Academy, and gossip was rampant that the artist Hyde was not only homosexual, he was a handsome boy a tad too short for girls. Some were cruel, and some fanatically obsessed about Hyde, and some even frivolously liking him, but the underlying message was, nobody cared to understand Hyde or the message he really tried to convey; most of then thought his work was great (even though many of them never did form an opinion about it) and substantiated with some other professor's critique.

One of his academy friends was a friend of an art professor who was friends with another art professor-in-training. Jan didn't know who this art professor-in-training was, but he met the fragile man. Jan talked to him. The man had an ex-boyfriend who knew Hyde personally, but that man had left him since, to a little suburban town. The professor-to-be was nice, and gave him a copy of FLA in which Hyde's work was featured.

After gathering information at the editorial space of FLA, Jan found information about Hyde, and even got his address. The address was in Jin's hometown, but he didn't tell Jin this. In fact, at that time, he couldn't have explained what was so uncanny about the boy in the painting that both enchanted and repulsed him so. He went to the Louvre more, to view this painting, and falling in love each moment he gazed at it. He realized, too, that the repulsion was formed because he was sick at himself for falling in love with a mere painting of a… naked boy.

Therefore, when Jin was going back with her friends, Jan revealed that he had Hyde's address, and that was the bribe in exchange for tagging along with them.

They knew the house the first time they looked at it. The house was isolated on a hilltop, with a winding road leading down to the town itself. Most of the windows were closed, but the panels at the balcony were parted, and they could see white curtains billowing deeper into the house because of the wind. It seemed isolated from where they were, and they stared at it for a moment, but there was no movement in the house.

They'd wanted to go in immediately, but decided to snoop around slightly more. They talked to everyone about the house. The town was aging and dying rapidly because of the lack of healthcare, and even then the people who knew of the house seemed to have heard it from someone else, because the artist didn't interact much with anyone except a shopkeeper at a fruit stall. It was said that the house was haunted before the artist came, and then the artist left for unknown reasons. Some said it was scholarship; others said that it was because of the ghost. Maybe the ghost left with him. Maybe the ghost scared him away. There were many possibilities. Some even said that he'd fallen for the ghost, and the ghost was even to that day waiting for Hyde to return. Some of them even went as far as to say that Hyde died in a faraway land, even though only a few months had passed since everyone last saw him.

The shopkeeper of the fruit stall said that the ghost had left when the artist came, and the artist came back only once before he left and didn't return. She knew for sure that the artist had left for scholarship at Le Ciel, because he'd told her personally so. She gave the teens a bunch of bananas, too, and after they were out of sight they threw the bunch of bananas away.

Jan decided that it didn't matter anymore, about the artist. He figured out that the boy in the painting must have been the ghost, and that there was a possibility that he might be able to see him if he visited the house.

He didn't dare to go alone. On the last day of Jin's grandfather's funeral when all assets problems were solved and lawsuits were confirmed to be made, Jan convinced the girls to go along to the house with him. They were quite happy to do so.

The house was locked, and when they knocked upon it, a little dark-haired boy of ten years opened the door, to their surprise. They hadn't expected anyone to reside there yet, but it was apparent. They bullshitted about being some arts students wanting to visit a monumental house. The boy said he'd better ask for permission, but it was then that the object of the painting appeared and opened the door for them.

The… Ghost's skin was pale and white, and devoured one's soul like leprosy. His eyes were almond-shaped and sweet, yet they radiated loneliness. His hair had grown longer than the waist-length that they'd seen in the painting; now it reached his hips, and flowed in sync when he moved. His voice was enchanting, manly but domesticated.

He was the God of androgyny.

Jan remembered the painting's title; it was Temptation. Later, when Jin heard of it, she said it was aptly named.

He introduced himself as Tetsu, and they extended their hands to shake with his. He'd looked slightly surprised and hesitant, but slowly reached out and shook their hands with increased confidence.

"…I heard that there's a ghost who used to reside here…"

"That ghost is me," Tetsu admitted, and he smiled.

His smile charmed all of them, and much as none of them would like to admit, they were already falling intensely in love with him, watching as he moved his seemingly ethereal form.

They laughed. As the conversation went on, they found Tetsu an incredible joker; he seemed to admit to things that were impossible, and that made them laugh. They found out that the child was named Sakura, and he'd brought with him a large sum of money which they were still living off; food was relatively cheap in town and they didn't need much of other things. They were both waiting for Hyde to return, to take them away with him. He, in turn, learnt that their school was just opposite Le Ciel's, and that this group of teenagers could be his—and Sakura's—key to Hyde's side.

The girls were more spontaneous. They volunteered to bring Tetsu to the art academy, so that he could meet Hyde soon. Tetsu's luggage was full of flowing gowns, and those few gowns were all that he owned. Most of them were once pastel colours, but they were faded. Apparently, the sum that Sakura brought with him was enough for clothes; Tetsu just hadn't realized the need for himself to get more clothes, mainly because he never went out of the house. He'd stayed in, believing that Hyde would come by anytime soon, and Sakura was the one who bought things at town—the food, his own clothes, and he'd picked some flowers for Tetsu each time he was on the way back up the hill.

Jan was about the same size as Tetsu was, although he was slightly taller, so he lent Tetsu some "decent" clothes when Tetsu went in the train. He'd tied up his hair, because the girls said it was more acceptable for guys with long hair to do so, and they set off in the train.

Sakura seemed to understand more of the city and human relations than Tetsu did; he'd helped Tetsu choose from Jan's wardrobe clothes that made the girls swoon when he put them on. When Tetsu stepped into the train, heads were turned (although they quickly turned back to avoid misunderstanding) and some middle-aged man's hand quite accidentally caught Tetsu's body five times during the ride. Tetsu'd protested, but neither he nor Jan were strong enough to do anything, and the crowd seemed unmoved. When the man was on his way out, Sakura quite accidentally kicked that man in the shin and boxed him in the crotch before disappearing into the crowd.

Tetsu fitted into the city easily, seemingly oblivious to certain things and people in general. However, days passed, and he saw that people smiled at each other, and he felt somewhat reassured.

Because Jan's house was too small, the Ghost and the child both stayed in Jin's house. Jin's parents treated him with impeccable manners, but made sure that Tetsu and Jin didn't touch each other, although Jin said it was dumb because if she wanted to she could have just rented a love hotel for a couple of hours; that was what she did with Jan. Tetsu didn't understand what it was all about, but Sakura ensured that Tetsu stayed as far from Jin as possible, which wouldn't have been much of a problem if Jin didn't come so close to him.

In the meantime, Jan had found increasing interest in the alternative—he'd seen the uncanny in himself, and it seemed as natural as anything when he'd lay prostrated in the love hotel with some guy who was entering him painfully. He'd wanted to do the same to Tetsu; he'd never quite loved anyone as much as he loved Tetsu, but… he didn't. He knew that he wasn't given a chance to be loved, simply because he was then part of the uncanny.

A few days later, Joen and Satou were found in the bathroom together, both having slit their wrists. Jin'd accompanied them to the hospital and sat there with eyebags forming. All the while, Sakura and Tetsu watched, with eyes of melancholy. The story was that their parents stopped them from seeing each other, and that was a sort of double Juliet's protest.

The commotion was over with, but the four of them were never seen together. Jan'd gone missing. Joen and Satou decided that they'd done stupid things and never saw each other again. Jin was the only one who fulfilled her promise and took Tetsu to the art academy, but neither of them knew what to do. Tetsu didn't know how to approach people, and Jin didn't want to, so the two of them searched tediously for Hyde. They realized that they'd been searching at the wrong faculty, and went to another, to find that they were searching in another wrong faculty.

When they approached another faculty, an art student approached Jin and Tetsu, asking them what they wanted since they weren't art students. Jin confessed that they were looking for Hyde. This art student introduced himself as Vee. Vee was good looking; he was tall and lanky, and resembled a vampire. He said that he could search for Hyde if they allowed him to; he had strings to pull but they had no clue at all. Jin asked why, and Vee replied, "because I understand." That touched Tetsu deeply, and he firmly believed, from meeting just one seemingly kind soul, that everyone else was good as well.

Jin gave Vee her phone number, and lent her mobile phone to Tetsu, who kept it by himself always even as he searched for Hyde. She'd grown tired of this endless search for Hyde, and told Tetsu that she loved him. She loved him the way she loved Jan, the way she loved a girl, even though Jan was a guy. Tetsu hadn't known what to say. He hadn't even wondered about which way was the right way to love, and had never contemplated his own love; he merely did so instinctively and tried to do it logically while mostly failing miserably in the logical process.

All these while, Sakura watched, and wrote things down.

Tetsu was left alone searching for Hyde, and he met Vee every day. Vee's cheerful and helpful demeanor made him believe in him. Vee told him that he found a person who knew Hyde personally, and told Tetsu to meet him in the Video Room.

However, the moment Tetsu entered the dark room, something hit him from behind, and he fainted. He woke up in some one else's room naked and vulnerable. He hadn't exactly known what happened to him, but he was feeling weak and strangely aroused. He tried to think of other things, but it was useless. The stranger, whose face he never saw, forced himself into Tetsu's battered body until he fainted. Tetsu was tied up to the wall, and he'd stayed there for days, his mind broken and his emotions torn. An infection began where his body allowed entrance, and finally he fell into a really deep sleep, which lasted for days.

When he woke up again, he saw Sakura's tiny face looking down at him sadly. He was in the hospital, and somebody else was sitting by the bedside.

"Tetsu," Sakura said, and touched his face, "I missed you." He handed him a small piece of paper with things scribbled on it.

Tetsu slowly smoothened it, and read it.

When he folded the paper back into its original form, someone else spoke. "I'm Yukihiro, an art professor in Le Ciel Art Academy. You must be Tetsu."

Tetsu didn't even wonder how someone else knew of him; he merely studied the man carefully, taking in every feature and imprinting things into his mind.

"I'll… I'll find out who's done it, and expel him…"

"That's not even enough," Sakura uttered, his face filled with hatred.

"…What happened?" Tetsu asked.

Sakura buried his face into Tetsu's chest, and Yukihiro said nothing. Tetsu caressed Sakura's soft hair, and looked out of the window. The hospital was one of the tallest buildings in the area, and Tetsu could see some skyscrapers in a distance. He watched them; sunlight glittered coldly off glass surfaces… Glinting impartially.

Something about this city was sicker than leprosy, Tetsu realized, and he hadn't known what it was. He'd thought everyone looked as nice as Vee, because they seemed to give each other polite smiles and cheerful greetings. But he knew the truth—even Vee wasn't as nice as he seemed. Somehow, even though Tetsu didn't really understand how and why, he knew that Vee was the cause of those days of suffering.

The truth was that the sky was a patient lying anaesthetized on the operation table. It wasn't leprosy that ate the city; it was rot that people cultivated in themselves that ate at their souls—and those around them—from within.

When Tetsu was better, although he was still under surveillance, Hyde came in. In the sunlight that flooded through the hospital window, Hyde's skin was dyed golden, and his face was glimmering with streaks of tears.

Tetsu'd rose, despite the pain between his legs, and he fell forward into Hyde's embrace.

These two golden figures embraced, their tears glimmering with sadness and joy, and they held each other for a very long and intense period of time, for as long as the sanctuary allowed itself to hold.

*** Three years hath passed…

You run, pretending you're running away from the city. The hill is dark, and all that lights the place up is the lonely lamp near the house. Your hair flies, hitting your face as you run forward. The night air brushes against your cheeks, cold and soothing.

You wonder if Tetsu and Hyde miss you. You've only been away for a couple of minutes; they wouldn't get mad, would they?

You are already breathless when you reach the door. You smile, and peer inside the house. Somehow, it seems magical, almost as if spirits have been guarding it. This feeling never fades, no matter how many times you enter and re-enter the house.

At the kitchen you see Hyde cooking the food that he's just bought back from the town. Tetsu is with him, although you know that Tetsu cannot cook to redeem his life. He is merely there because Hyde is there. You gasp when you see Hyde hold Tetsu, and kiss him, while Tetsu protests slightly. You see Tetsu smile, and you're slightly jealous, although you don't know why.

Suddenly you even hate Hyde.

You try to shake yourself of this strange feeling, but your eyes were attracted somehow to this scene. You think of the day you were kidnapped and thrown into a closet in the art academy, and when you were finally found, and when you opened your eyes to see Tetsu lying beside you, his skin bloodied and his face contorted with pain and his eyes closed with unconsciousness. It was almost the same feeling. You know that you'd feel more violated if Tetsu were than if you were yourself.

You manage, after great hesitance, to tear yourself away. You tiptoe up the stairs, hoping that they wouldn't find you.

You know of a room in this house, a room that is both spacious and white in décor. A canopy bed rests in the middle of the room, and a painting is hung on the room; it is a picture of a naked Tetsu holding an apple. You always touch it, no matter how many times Hyde tells you not to; it is oil on canvas. He has only painted two of this. The one hanging here is the second one. The first one is at his house in the city, where even the temperature is carefully adjusted. The third one, duplicated by an apprentice, is at Ken's place, while the fourth one (another apprentice duplication) is somewhere in the market.

"Sakura, where are you?" Tetsu sounds slightly breathless, and you hurriedly run downstairs. Tetsu's cheeks are red, and his lips are redder than usual, too. You know what they've been doing; you've seen them do it before. You want to turn away, but you don't. Instead you walk towards the kitchen.

"There you are! Naoki gave me a bunch of bananas," Hyde says cheerfully, "And I bought ice-cream, so we could have banana split later."

"Aunt Naoki," You repeat softly. It's the aunt that Hyde always brings you to see. Tetsu never did go, and Hyde always reminds you never to tell Naoki about Tetsu, but you don't know the reason.

"Tuck in!" Hyde stuffs a bowl of rice in front of you, and you gaze at the dishes. They smell and look good. You eat them hungrily.

"I want fish," You complain.

"I didn't see any fresh ones around." Hyde explains. "There'll only be some in the city."

"I don't wanna go back."

"There you go," Hyde laughs, "But you'll have to, anyway."

"My birthday's coming in two months' time," You remind Hyde. You have asked for a painting from Hyde, because you're slightly jealous that Hyde only paints for Tetsu and in your entire thirteen years you have never received a painting from Hyde before. You don't even want all the books and toys they'll ever give you; there's always the library, anyway.

"Yes, yes, I'll paint you something by then," He grins, "Now eat your veggies. And don't eat up all the egg!"

You feel guilty about hating Hyde back then. You don't even understand why you hated Hyde so. Hyde's always friendlier than Tetsu is, and he plays with you all the time, and he understands you better than Tetsu does. Tetsu, on the other hand, chooses to keep silent most of the time. He is only smilingly talkative with strangers. It seems almost like a survival tactic, and for that you are glad that Tetsu never says much to you, because it means that you're important to him.

After dinner Tetsu and Hyde wash up in the kitchen. Normally you'd help, but this time you want to leave them alone, because Tetsu is smiling, although they seem to be quarreling.

"You're as annoying as a Virgo."

"And you're worse than a Pisces!"

"…"

And each time they speak, they seem to be pressing closer to each other, until Tetsu's voice is drowned out by Hyde's kiss, and only then Tetsu says something that isn't defensive. You turn, ashamed for watching.

You run away from them, back to the room again. You know that Hyde and Tetsu will join you later. It is the favourite place of the three of you, in the entire world. Every time the three of you come to stay for the weekends, you end up camping on the canopied bed. It is a big bed, but Hyde says that you'll have to sleep elsewhere when you're bigger; you've grown big enough for the time being. You feel slightly bitter about that, but you know that at the same time you can never win this round. It is something that you don't understand, and you know that you cannot intrude on them.

You push the panes apart and sit down at the ledge between the room and the balcony. The night is starry, and a gentle breeze is working up. You stare at the stars, feeling their light shower over your face. It seems almost as if the heaven is there to love you.

You feel like you've always known of this place, although you never once understood why. It is only later when you grow up, when you hear the truth behind Hyde's and Tetsu's tales, that you know what happened. Before they reveal to you the true form of this story, you've only heard of it in bits and pieces, and your childish inquisition made you love them almost as much as you love Hyde and Tetsu. And you will be shocked and very sad, but somehow glad for the turn of events in that story.

"Sakura?" A gentle voice inquires, and you whirl around.

"Tetsu," You say, "Want to watch the stars with me?"

"Okay," And so he plops down beside you, without so much as a single bit of expression. It is then that you realise that throughout your life, in your ten years of memory, you have seldom seen him smile.

"Will Hyde join us?" You ask, knowing that Tetsu smiles most when he is with Hyde.

"Yes, he'll find us."

Silence. Tetsu seems to be comforted by it, and so are you. You can almost feel Tetsu's heartbeat, and you can tell that Tetsu loves this place.

"I don't want to go back to the city."

"You'll have to," Tetsu says, and his fingertip gently brushes against your forehead, "…We all have to, even if we don't want to."

"This is like the story you've told me," You confide, knowing that Tetsu is as much of a dreamer as you are. Knowing that he will not laugh at you for trying to forget reality. "Those stories all happened here, right?"

"I'll tell you the truth one day, when you're older."

You are confused. What is the truth? You don't understand, but you don't ask, because Tetsu is smiling.

"Hey," Says Hyde from behind. You know that Hyde has found the two of you. You can hear him huffing and puffing quite clearly. "You should've told me before you went away."

"You should know where to find me," Tetsu smiles at him, and Hyde breaks into a smile, too.

"Yes, I know."

Hyde sits down beside Tetsu, barely acknowledging you, and kisses him on the cheeks, then on the lips. Tetsu slouches slightly as he rests his head against Hyde's shoulder.

The next morning when Hyde is down at the town and Tetsu is cleaning the house that you accidentally find on one of the pockets of a coat in one of those dusty luggage, a notebook. You flip through it. There is no name inscribed on any of the pages. They're all hand-written poems. Having grown up reading like a nutcase since you had consciousness, you understand all of them.

In the last written page is an unfinished poem, titled "The Ghost In My Room". There are only three lines. You read, " And red as red could be/Faint wisps, fermenting wine/ As sweet intoxication swells…"

A strange sensation lies in you. These lines are vague; you realise that you can craft it in any way you like, and you recall from the chain of stories that Hyde and Tetsu have told you. That is about when the Artist meets the Ghost.

You find in that pocket also a pen, and you use the pen to continue on the poem. You rename it, too, to a more suitable title.

You don't fully comprehend what you've written. You always feel strange about writing, because it doesn't seem like it's come out of you; it scares you like hell but at the same time you love it, because Tetsu likes your writing a lot, although Hyde somehow seems disturbed by it. Each time you write the stories that Hyde and Tetsu tell you on paper, they applaud you for your linguistic ability. But Hyde doesn't like it when you write poems.

You don't understand why you write as you do, and how you write—is it because the books have seeped through you and the words sort of just stayed? But when you know of the full story, you will understand why everything is as it is, and you will write it down. As you write, you will live through Hyde and Tetsu's story, and you will become a sadder, but wiser person.

…So, I guess that's about it. Thanks for the support. Oh, please comment! I don't bite. Here's my email: voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk (hint!)

http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk (the point of this email address being here is so that the reader can C&C!)
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I'm not sure if you're reading this, but I think I haven't had a proper opportunity to thank you for the gifts. I really appreciated it—I couldn't have gotten these things if not for you! I treasure it still, even though like years of isolation have passed.

Things have changed, I guess. I don't know what's up with you, but hey, I've finished writing this. I'm not sure if you still like Hyde and Tetsu together, but I'll still say Hyde and Tetsu rocks together…

Please do email me, all right? If you haven't forgotten some things. It's kind of late, already… Isn't part two kind of a let down too? I admit it's radically different from part one.

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