AIGAN NO TSUKI ~SHI~

Author: Muneko
Translator: hirai

White, cold………the light of the early winter moon streamed in from a crack in the curtains which were slightly too thick for those of a bedroom. As if making a sharp noise, it pierced through the darkness, drawing a line………
And burst softly on the ground. This light gently illuminated the interior of the room.
White…….pale…….as it inlayed the whole room in its faint cold colours…..
Even so, the atmosphere emanating from the two people positioned in the very centre of the room, sucked in even the moonlight…..and changed it to a maniacally bright crimson.
 
 
 

"Ryu…………?"
The scarlet colour of the undergarments, exposed slightly from the edge of the collar decorated the slim neck lasciviously. That colour that pierced the eyes so much that it was painful suited Ryuichi well.
Looking downwards, the same type of material covered the legs, small for a man’s, and thin ankles modestly.
Shut away in this place that didn’t know the light of the sun, for so many months……
His bare feet like the other’s had become an almost translucent white. The koshi-obi, woven out of gold and orange threads, thick enough to make one think it was wider than the one wearing it, was tied lovingly at the front of his body.
"Like a doll……so pretty….."
With a happy smile that might have been admiration or mocking, Sugizo slowly entwined his fingers in the simply hanging black hair. The hair that had been short when he had come here, had not been cut since then, and now brushed just above his shoulders.
He took a few locks of the hair, long enough to hide his ears, and tied it in a bow with the brocade ribbon he’d been holding.
"It suits you…naa…." Sugizo whispered admiringly as he gazed at Ryuichi.

"Red and white together….it looks right. The red visible from under the white….that pink colour suits well." The matching colours from the layers and layers of kimono….the bottom layer of crimson which suited Ryuichi best, every piece Sugizo had chosen and dressed him in.
Perhaps because he was dressed so extraordinarily gracefully so he wouldn’t worry, the neckline and skin of the feet were exposed lewdly, and it seemed even the whiteness of that skin was another decoration of the body. So that the exposed feet would not become cold, he sat him on a large zabuton which had been prepared, and finally the doll was complete.
The moment he finished, forgetting about holding him so tightly he’d break as he usually did, Sugizo just looked at him in surprise.
Forgetting himself in the feeling,….he reached out his hand to touch Ryuichi’s cheek. When he was just about to touch him…….he changed his mind and drew back his hand. After repeating those unloving movements, he softly traced a line down Ryuichi’s cheek with his fingertips.
Untouchable things surely existed in this world. Those were the things protected by a glass case in an art museum, paintings, pots, jewels…. Like that, Sugizo sensed a noble atmosphere, like treasure, from the doll in from of him, and so….he stopped at timidly stroking its cheek.
The moment he touched it, as if there was a danger it would evaporate, he collected himself, and Ryuichi continued to sit without moving an inch. Not tiring he replaced the fingers tracing his cheek with his lips……and thought.
I wonder if it would look better tinged with red……
If I put it on these thin lips…….he thought of various colours……and then stopped.
Lovingly, he touched the part showing the blood coming through with his fingers.
Although he’d decorated it to this point, Sugizo had not applied any makeup to the doll’s face.
On his pale translucent face…….which showed the blood from underneath faintly, he’d decided the colour of a base of makeup was unnecessary.
"Just like this is good……just like this is so beautiful……"
If he put makeup on it, he wouldn’t even be able to touch his cheek gently like this. Sugizo whispered it, satisfied, before long stroking the cheek persistently, not with his fingers but with the palm of his hand.
 
 

Those who knew him slightly, seeing this spectacle, would probably have screamed.
It’s wrong……
This was not him, it’s someone else with the same face…..
Or unbelieving, just look at him and become unable to move.
If told it was a doll imitating him, they might have easily believed it.
Head tilted downward slightly, the lightly half-closed eyelids.
"N……?"
Still with his hand on its cheek, Sugizo looked jokingly into the other side of those eyelids. The eyes, edged with long eyelashes……were colourless. The deep radiance, quiet but strong, that Ryuichi would normally possess was entirely lost, the surface of his eyes seemed to stagnate as if closed by a curtain. Even the eyes of a dead person would probably still hold more vitality from their lifetime than this.
"………boring….."
Even though the one that had induced this was none other than himself, Sugizo complained in a lonely voice, as if his interest had run out.
"If now, your eyes would smile for me……it would be perfect….." he whispered regretfully, sadly….
To move closer to Ryuichi, he put his foot on the hem of the kimono. Those murky eyes moved closer……no, he was moving his lips closer to Ryuichi…..as he recognised this, the gap between the two people was already disappearing.
At the same time as he kissed him, he entwined his fingers with Ryuichi’s own which faintly peeked out from the opening of the sleeve.
The opposite to the fingers, which were so cold it was hard to believe the thing was living, the inside of Ryuichi’s mouth was warm, and the moisture of the tongue entwined with his relieved Sugizo.
"…..aa…..what’s this…….it’s alive……thank god….."
In these strange circumstances he himself had wished for and created, the warmth he felt from Ryuichi seemed to enclose his body and soul, healing him.
A long time ago Ryuichi would have wrapped his arms around his neck, bit his ear sweetly, stroked his cheek, that time when they would have laughed together so rightly…..He created the illusion that in that gentle time and atmosphere, he was still existing now.
 

PIKUN……..
Ryuichi’s fingers gripped Sugizo’s.
The weak movement was not so much ‘gripped’ as lightly touched…….but still, definitely, the doll had moved.
"………?!!!"
It was so sudden it seemed his heart might stop……but why was the joy taking over the surprise? He released his body and lips, and to confirm his condition once again looked into his eyes. In Ryuichi’s eyes as he looked at him, his adoring face was………..definitely reflected…….he was looking at him!!
"Na!? Ah!!"
The next moment, Sugizo was pulled in by the collar, and was thrown down sidelong onto the floor. As he realised he was being held down by Ryuichi’s weight, his face was pulled upwards by the hand gripping the back of his hair.
"…… Ryu?!"
With nimble movements that would have been unbelievable up to a moment ago, Ryuichi undid the ribbon that had been tied in his hair. Using the hand in his hair, he wrapped it around Sugizo’s neck.
He gripped tightly on the ends of the ribbon decorated with red tassles.
"….."
Choking at having his air blocked so suddenly, he let out a stifled scream. At Sugizo’s groans like those of a dying beast, Ryuichi jumped slightly, and quickly relaxed the ribbon he grasped so that it wouldn’t cut into his throat.
Their gazes met, and there was a slight silence as they glared at each other.
 
 

"You still……had enough power……..to resist me?"
Sugizo asked, making a noise like a flute playing from his constricted neck.
"The drugs……wore out? You hid it well"
In a position like this, held down with his life being taken away, his tone was so happy it seemed out of place. The opposite was Ryuichi’s face which was coloured with an expression of fear as he faced Sugizo.
The hands which gripped the ribbon tying Sugizo’s neck began to shake violently, he looked like he was trying desperately to bear the strange pressure of the situation.
The eyes which were now clearly showing life, were even so misty at being strained to the limit.
"……out………let me…..out…"
The far away, shallow coughed out breaths gradually changed into a begging voice.
"……let me out of here……let me go home!!"
Ryuichi screamed out with enough power as to break the eardrums so used to silence. An appeal of trust was faintly mixed in those cries.
Drugged, imprisoned, made a toy………and raped.
Although suffering all this treatment up until now, somewhere in Ryuichi’s heart, he cursed himself who couldn’t erase the feelings of love for Sugizo. It was friendship…….intimacy………a gentle feeling like air.
By the time he realised that thinking this and trying to be together with those feelings was a clue to all their mistakes, it was too late.