Sat Apr 8 04:54:10 2000

I am now sitting with Yukkie in front of his TV set, holding a Macdonald's burger, on the table is coke, and the screen has Eva playing on it.

Even though today I had bugged Yukkie to let me come over after practice, and watching Eva was my suggestion, but I cant focus on the television.

because, tonight, I have a very important motive.

It's after two weeks of dawdling that I have decided today, today, I must say it!

But, I was waiting for the right time, yet it hasnt occurred till now. Also, the sky is getting dark...

Yukkie has finished his burger long ago, and is now eating his fries. I think, if I dont have a chance, its ok if I try to create one?

"About that, yukkie..."

("about that" is meant as "that" is undefined)

"Un?" He turned and looked at me. Oh no, my heart has started beating fast again!

Everytime its like this. Once I see Yukkie, I will feel nervous no matter what, my face will feel so hot; Hyde dared to say that this is the reaction that only a young girl in love will have... He's put it too far. I dont think I am so exaggerated.

Only, I hope right now that my face isnt too red...

"Tet-chan, what's wrong? Your face is very red... Is the room too hot?"

hido: mweheh... . no, you're hot ^^

looks like this situation is gonna be a long way from my wish. "no, nothing!" I hurriedly denied. His concerned eyes looked so sincere, it makes me feel so blissful! Yukkie, you are always looking after me, thank you.

I leaned towards him; dont know if this is a wise move.

"Yukkie..."

"un."

"I have something to tell you."

"What?" He attentively prepared to listen to my shocking speech.

I took a deep breath, thinking that I wouldn't rest till I say it, but suddenly thought... With Eva's exploding noises, its too unromantic? So I reached out for the remote control, and switched it off gently.

Once I did that, I began to regret. Without the TV's noice, the room became so silent, with only him and me sitting facing each other, even the sounds of breaths can be heard. God, this is so awkward!

"I... er... I..."

"What?"

"I...II... Yukkie... I..."

"Tetchan, why are you stammering?"

Because I am nervous, stupid!! "yukkie, I... I really..."

"Unun?" he watched me, reaching out for his coke and started drinking.

"I... you... Yukkie, I..." I exercised my tongue uneasily. "i... I..."

The more I try, the more I cant speak, why am I so useless? I feel like crying more and more. If Ken-chan saw this, he will definitely start teasing me about still being a crybaby when I am thirty.

"I..."

"Tetchan, wait a moment!" Yukkie suddenly yelled, shocking me into shutting my mouth tight.

"What?"

"...You not eating your fries?" He pointed at my untouched fries, his face full of hope.

hido: ^^;; ; Yukkie.. .*falls flat on face*

"Uh... I dont feel like it much..."

"So I eat it?"

"Ok." Not only fries, even if you wanted to eat five Fillet-O-Fish I will give you.

"So~~ what do you want to tell me?" He asked, a golden fry in his mouth.

"Ah, it's that..."

"very important?"

"Very important!!" That came out without thinking; I seemed to have answered too fast.

Dont know if he was scared by that, anyway he started looking at me seriously, silently beckoning.

"Is it about the new single?"

"No."

"Then it's about hyde? or ken?"

"No, all not." I breathed in deeply. "Its about you. And me."

"??" He is really curious now.

I glanced at the door, the exit I was going to escape with later. Remembering that the door wasnt hard to open. "I... like, like you, yukkie." I stared at my own hands, not daring to look into his face.

He said, "I like you too."

My heart almost came jumping out. He likes me too??!! But I immediately thought, he must have meant the love between friends.

"I really like you, yukkie." I forced myself to look up, into his wide eyes. "Like you, like liking a girl."

He didnt speak a word, only looked at me dumbfounded. Although this was my expected outcome, existing in this kind of situation is really painful.

"I love you, yukkie." Forcing myself to finish it, I braced up as much courage as I could, leaning forward to kiss his lips lightly.

Its time to run away.

"kok kok kok" (sound of running feet) ...Why is this damn door so hard to open? The lock cant be pulled up no matter how I do it! Dont know what his expression was, I just felt that I was stupid. He wont like me.

Really feel like crying, my eyes were already so hot, but I wont let myself cry in front of him.

just as the lock finally gets unlocked, my wrist was held back by him. Finished, is he gonna comfort me?

"Tetchan, why are you so hurried to leave?"

How can he say this sort of thing...! "I... The things I want to say is already said, if I dont go, I should stay here?" I tried to pull away forcibly, but there was no effect. First time in my life that Ive hated myself for not exercising muscles.

"Tetsu!"

I stopped.

And then I only felt my wrist being tugged at strongly, my whole being was pulled into his embrace. He held me, why... why? unless...

I couldn't say anything, neither did he; after quite some time like this, he finally opened his mouth. "How long has it been...?"

Yukkie's body was so warm, so comfortable, like magic, it makes me feel so rested. I really love him. "very very... very very long ago..." Murmuring. Please dont let go of me.

A hand very gently carressed my hair, a breath breezed into my ear. "This is... too great." I heard this very very soft voice. What does it mean?

He held my shoulder, pushing me away abit. I saw his smile. "I like you very much too."

hido: note, there is an adjective before the "smile", but I dont know what it means, so.. ^^;

My eyes opened wide on their own accord. I really, really found it hard to believe. "What?!"

"I like you, tetchan."

I. Like. You. "...say it again."

"I like you."

His face slowly neared, and I closed my eyes, then felt my lips carressed by something as warm.

He kissed me?! My heartbeats grew faster. God, this is real. "...pinch me."

"What?"

"Pinch me!"

"Oh..." He did as I said.

It hurts.

This is not an imagery, its real. The yukkie in front of me, redfaced, holding my hand, the warmth from his fingertips, its real!

"Tet...tetchan??" He asked worriedly, because I couldnt control myself and cried.

I couldn't suppress the overflowing feeling. I was really so happy.

"tetchan, did I say anything wrong?" He gently wiped my teartracks.

I shook my head, and hugged him again. Sorry, let you worry again, yukkie.

Strong arms encircled me. "yukkie, you... are always protecting me."

"Aa..." I closed my eyes, in my mind's eye I could see the expression of him being so embarrassed that he didnt know what to do.

Really, very happy. "I really, really love you..."

-owari-