Sunday, June 13, 1999 2:15:14 PM

Xz0ner
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Author's notes: I know what "coupling with" means! "Coupling" according to my little Oxford Dictionary: Link connecting part of blah blah to railway blah blah… Cant remember. Whatever it is, it is not as romantic as it sounds or what it seems! I remember a discussion in the J-rock ML: "But Coupling With means blah blah!" "Can we help it if the Japanese have lousy English?" etc. Englishmen's opinions… And no, I'm not a racist. I just happen to bear a grudge against certain whites… FOR BEING SO CUTE!! ^ ^;;; (J/K… I'm not a racist.)

But, come to think of it, I'm using it as a term "combined with". Maybe their English isn't so bad after all. If you take it as literally kind of thing? I know. My English isn't good either. (I'm from a Chinese school though I started w/ CHIJ) But words have their own meanings to me. So, "Coupling With" has more than one meaning to me: Yoshiki coupling with Hide (as a couple), or Yoshiki x Hide coupling with Hyde x Tetsu (as two couple) or "going together with" kind of thing. You know. It's different. Hm. Word 97's thesaurus: coupling: Combination… Sou…

And again, I apologize for a Chinese man's attempt at Japanese (and English) ^-^. If anything's wrong, please tell me.

Warnings: Aren't you tired of it? I mean, if you've read the first two parts of this, you should know! :p Here goes. Yaoi, NO lemon. And you really need to read Unfurled Wings if you are going to read this.
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You can't turn away from love and more
Because this is the star of light
The future will show you the way go now
The future is smiling
There is no pain in the truth.

~"No Pain", from Shine, by Luna Sea.

***

Gackt plodded from the kitchen into Koji's room. Nine and he was still not back yet. He wondered if they were allowed to be that late everyday, but then again he himself was never allowed to go out after seven. :.Fukouhei!.:

He sighed, and began to close his eyes. He had been lacking plenty of sleep lately, ever since moving into Koji's room. He yawned slightly, and something furry curled up against him. "Taka…?"

The brownish black dog barked, but did not move. Gackt wondered what it was doing with him, and remembered that Hiro was not at home. It was Hiro whom the dog always hung around with. Absently, he stroked its fur gently, and it snuggled closer to him. He smiled, and opened his eyes to gaze at the sleepy dog. It licked his face, almost as if sensing his solitude. Maybe it did, after all.

He flung an arm around it, ready to get into sleep, when noises were heard downstairs. It was Koji and Hiro's chatter. Gackt groaned, and Taka shot out of bed towards Hiro's direction. Gackt rubbed his hand gingerly, sighing, this time, with some sort of sadness.

"Gackt-san!" Koji shouted, as he burst into the room. "It's our favorite sitcom showing on TV! Hurry up!"

Without thinking, he got up, and grumpily he began to walk down the stairs. He had gotten used to Koji's enthusiasm. It would be impossible to get out of it.

***

Levin was going to sleep in Keanu's room, since Hyde was bunking with Tetsu. So it was agreed. The American had emerged from his room cheerfully with his nose red and eyes puffy, and Hyde could not even look at him. He felt as if it was his fault. Surely, it must be his for he made Keanu cry. But, why does Keanu seem so happy?

Somehow, something told him that the happiness was real. That Keanu was stronger that he had thought and could survive anything. With respect to Keanu, Hyde wondered if he himself could stand up right after he fell. Surely, he could not. Not in a day, at least. Not after crying only once.

:.So it is possible, after all,.: Hyde thought, remembering what Sendagi had said about Aki. :.What if it is true?.: He asked himself, and had no answer for it. If so, then he hoped Aki would still treat him as a normal friend.

Tetsu was helping him do his homework when Levin came in. "Gomen kudasai?"

"Ee!" Hyde told him, and pointed to the equation. "So you mean this is not supposed to be multiplied?"

"Un," Tetsu nodded. "It's wrong."

"What are you doing?" Levin asked, sitting down at the edge of the mattress which both Tetsu and Hyde shared. "Homework?"

"Yeah," Hyde replied. "……Which school are you going to?"

Levin lowered his head. "I only finished grammar school."

"Oh," Hyde whispered apologetically. Tetsu continued checking Hyde's work.

Silence.

"Oh. What are you doing here?" Hyde asked again. "Is there anything you need?"

Levin shook his head, suddenly turning very red. "I understand that you know Koji-san…"

"Yeah," Hyde nodded, while Tetsu continued checking the paper. "Sendagi-chan always brings him and Hiro-chan along when there are parties."

"I… I…" Levin stammered, blushing furiously. "Wha… Wha…What is he like?"

Hyde smiled, as he looked into Levin's eyes. Something told him not to laugh. It was rather amusing, come to think of it, he used to like only girls. But now, everything was topsy-turvy, and he could not help but accept. "Eeto……. Hmm… He's the kind of person who speaks his mind without hesitance. Why?"

"He… He reminds me of my father…" Levin glanced up at Hyde nervously. "I always wondered what he was like…"

"He's a nice person," Hyde told the kid, with a warm smile. "And he's enthusiastic about everything. Oh, he really gets along well with his brother, Hiro-chan."

"Naruhodo," Levin sighed. "……I wish I'm his brother."

"Why?" Hyde asked in curiosity. Ah, so it wasn't like what he had thought after all.

"He feels like one," Levin nodded with all his might, stopped suddenly, and seriously pronounced, "Hyde-san!"

"Eh?" Hyde was surprised at the way Levin had addressed him.

"Thank you for letting me stay here…"

"It's no problem!" Hyde beamed.

***

"You're really not going to Sendagi's party?" Asked Ken, as he looked at Hyde curiously. "It's not like you to skip a party!"

"Sorry," Hyde apologized. "But I want to be in a place to celebrate my birthday, not another occasion…"

"Oh," Ken muttered. "But everyone's going! We can celebrate everything together…"

Hyde shook his head. Ken decided that he was wasting his breath, and ran out of the class to look for someone. Hyde sat there, wondering if he had no true friends at all… No one who cared about his birthday. :.I mean, they should celebrate the beginning of holidays with my birthday, not my birthday with the beginning of holidays!.:

"What's wrong?" Tetsu came walking into the classroom, holding a sandwich.

"My birthday," Hyde said moodily. "Everyone's been keeping clear of me recently, and they've forgotten my birthday."

"Oh," Tetsu mumbled sadly, putting his sandwich down. "Don't worry, they must be planning a surprise party for you!"

"They're not," Hyde sighed again. "They're celebrating the holidays and stuff…"

Tetsu did not know what to say, so he did not say anything. Instead, he offered Hyde the sandwich, and Hyde took it without much enthusiasm.

"It's just not fair…" Hyde muttered, depressed, resting his head onto the table. "They've never forgotten my birthday! In fact, I always have to be reminded… And if only Keany-chan had said nothing about it, I won't be so depressed now! I'd forget it and be happily celebrating the beginning of holidays… But, that's not the point!"

Tetsu remained silent, and patted Hyde gently on the shoulder. Hyde looked up, into the kindly eyes. It was what he had expected to see, and it was what he saw. Those beautiful eyes. He was reminded that he was not alone. Even Keanu and Aki had wanted to go along to Sendagi's party. Levin was going with Koji and Hiro… Unfair… Now, he was left with only Tetsu…

Hyde smiled at the thought, that he would never be alone as long as Tetsu was there.

"Thank you," He said gratefully, brushing Tetsu's messy hair away from his face, and he was even happier when Tetsu smiled that warm smile of his. :.Yes, even when everyone forgets me, Tetsu will remember… He's my angel….:

***

"Hyde will be so happy when the party strikes!" Kiyoshi said, dragging Yoshiki and Takanori over to listen to Keanu and Levin's conversation.

"Poor Hyde. He's been so depressed…" Yoshiki remarked, a hand holding his hair to keep it from falling into his face.

"And poor Tetsu has been so sad because Hyde is!" Takanori said, nodding. "Why can't they just let him know?"

"Then the surprise would be gone, ahou!" Kiyoshi laughed, patting Takanori on his head.

Takanori stuck his tongue out at Kiyoshi grudgingly, but listened anyway.

"They're not that bad after all…" Yoshiki nodded. Kiyoshi muttered his agreement, as Keanu and Levin switched off the light, to sleep. "From what little I heard."

"How is Tetsu and Hyde doing now?" Takanori wondered. "Could they have heard it?"

"I don't think so, ahou. Let's take a look," Kiyoshi flew towards the room, with Takanori and Yoshiki after him. Much to their surprise, they saw Hyde crying in his sleep. Tetsu was as unconscious as he could get, without even suspecting of Hyde's sadness. "What?! Tetsu!! Sir! How could you?!"

On impulse, he poked Tetsu in the ribs. Tetsu awoke with a jolt, and turned around to see if Hyde was grinning at him mischievously. To his surprise, he could see that Hyde's back was facing him. There was something dismal about it, Tetsu sensed, as he saw that Hyde's shoulders were shaking, in the dimness of the night light.

"Hyde?" He whispered softly, reaching out from under the sheets to touch Hyde's shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Hyde's voice came out in a shaky whisper.

"Are you sure?" Tetsu asked, this time, more of his worry showed through. "Are you crying…?"

Hyde stifled a sniff and turned around, to see Tetsu looking worriedly at him. As if he was the only one in the world right then. The only one who mattered at all. "I…"

Tetsu felt the pain in his heart, as if he shared a soul with Hyde. It was the feeling which they shared, the feeling that their fate was intertwined, that they were made to be together till the end of time and beyond… He opened his mouth to speak, but faltered. Wordlessly, he held Hyde close to himself, as Hyde buried his face in his chest, still sobbing. It took quite a while before Hyde finally fell asleep, and Tetsu knew that he could let go.

But he lay there, feeling the presence of the body close to his, hearing every small breath which Hyde took. The feeling, so beautiful, grew stronger, till it almost hurt. But he was so happy. He felt so blessed, to hold the one dearest to him, so intimately.

As he drifted to sleep, he could see three angels in his mind's eye, radiant and smiling.

***

Levin sat opposite Hyde in the café, drinking his red tea and eating his cakes, while Ken apologized, "I'm really sorry, Hyde."

Hyde forced a smile, "Un?"

"That we're all going to Sendagi's party."

"It's okay," Hyde tried to sound cheerful, but it came out more bitter than he had intended. Shocked by his own tone, he quickly added, "I'll have fun doing things with Tetsu that can only be done alone!"

"Such as…?" Ken trailed off with a knowing wink playfully, hoping to lighten the atmosphere a little bit. He knew that Hyde would not exactly show his true feelings to anyone, so as not to seem mean-spirited, but his feelings did matter. It mattered to the whole lot of them, especially Keanu, himself, and kind old Koji, who made stayed clear of Hyde in case he should blabber the whole occasion out. In fact, everyone stayed clear of Hyde, in case they should give any hint unknowingly, being so excited about it and all.

And poor Hyde had not taken it well. Tetsu had asked Ken what was wrong, but of course they knew that they could not tell Tetsu, who was around Hyde all the time. From Tetsu, Ken knew that Hyde had cried himself to sleep last night, and it was not what everyone had anticipated, or wanted.

Hyde blushed as red as an apple. :.I shouldn't have put it that way!.: He had never thought of it, not really. All he knew was that he enjoyed Tetsu's presence, and, well… He had only been interested in girls for as long as he lived. What little fantasizing that he had done before was about girls. He had felt kind of embarrassed about it, so he stopped a long time ago, despite the fact that it was like everyday things in the boys' school. Maybe it was when he saw the angel's beauty in his dreams… How long ago was it? He was not even sure of that. For as long as he remembered, he had always dreamt of that fiery red angel… :…….Tetsu. My angel..:

"Wha… What are you… you… talk… Talking about, Tetsu… Uh! I mean Ken!"

Ken raised an eyebrow in question, "Oh, Hyde, you mistook me for Tetsu! Have you really been thinking about him so much?"

"KEEEENNN-CHAN!!!!!" Hyde exclaimed, his gorgeous voice echoing through the café, and everyone turned to look at them.

"I don't know him!" Ken immediately raised his hands and turned away, in exaggerated innocence. Levin tried to hold his mouth close while giggling.

"Keeen-chan!" Hyde hissed, his breath lowering to a whisper. "I really…" He blushed again.

There was nothing he could say, that won't add to his conviction. It was true that he loved Tetsu, and he believed that Tetsu loved him back, but what would others think when they knew about it? The thought brought a sad smile to his lips; maybe, everyone abandoned him because of Tetsu…? Or because they already knew about their relationship? Besides, Hyde was the only one who would not join in when they talked about those things… After all, they were boys growing up with more than enough hormones. :.Then why is it only me….:

"It's okay," Levin took a breath between the cakes, carefully swallowing it. "Since you really love each other."

Ken's eyes widened in shock (or was it incomprehension?), since Levin was living with Hyde, and if anything, he should be more familiar than he was about Hyde's life outside school. Then, he began to laugh, just as Hyde felt his heart stop in dread.

"Then I don't see what is so embarrassing, Hyde-chan! Remember--" He paused for breath, "That it's nice to know a Hyde with emotions after all… I mean, I'd never thought you had interest in anyone until Tetsu showed up! I mean, yeah, you're really enthusiastic and all, but…"

He paused again, this time to glance up at Hyde happily, in congratulations, while Hyde shifted uncomfortably in his seat, surprised at Ken's reaction.

"But… You never seemed to come across what you wanted…" Ken sighed.

Hyde nodded, remembering how Ken used to tell him about how wonderful it was to be in love, until 'she' left him… Hyde wondered if the hurt was still in Ken's heart, but it never showed in Ken's eyes. Ken was not that touchy about it, but Hyde knew that he could not exactly heal so soon. He was not that kind of person who could treat love as a game. :.So much unlike other people….: Hyde thought absently. He felt an impulse to tell Ken about his dreams. "Ken…"

"Un?" Ken gazed at him with that lovely look in his eyes. No, not lovely as Tetsu's when he was gazing at Hyde, but a brotherly gaze which told him that he would protect him from anything that came to harm. A caring look, that told him he really did mattered. Hyde smiled gratefully, and all of a sudden, he wondered why Ken was going to Sendagi's party instead of celebrating his birthday.

Hyde suddenly stopped, not for a valid reason. Only being that he felt that the dreams, even before he met Tetsu, belonged to him and Tetsu alone. It was not valid enough; Hyde felt a sense of guilt, since Ken always told him about the wonders of love while he was at it. Instead, he knew what he had to say, without knowing why he had to say that, "I'll try my best."

Ken smiled. It was a gentle, encouraging smile, and Hyde saw the strength and confidence in them. Strength and confidence that were meant to be passed on to him by just that smile, and that look in the eyes… Which changed to mischief. "Make sure you win him by tonight, Hyde-chan!"

Hyde blushed again. "KEEEEEEEEEENNNNN-CHAN!!!"

Again, everyone turned to look with curious eyes, and Hyde blushed redder than before, slinking under the table in embarrassment. Murmurs were heard, some gushing about how cute Hyde was, and some about how unruly young people are.

"But, Hyde-san," Levin intoned, innocently, staring at Hyde inquisitively, "It's only normal!"

Hyde blushed further, surprised at Levin's openness to it all. "What's normal?"

Big mistake. He knew that Levin would just speak out without thought… Something like what Koji would do, "To want someone, Hyde-san! Even Keanu-san agrees with me! See! I'm not the one to read too much, after all!"

"Levin!" Ken laughed, at the way Levin put it, how much such a small kid could know about such things, and at the way Hyde was blushing beyond words.

***
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Author's hentai notes (musings):--> skip it if you want, it's just my ideas I'm trying to convey with the fic. But it'll be nice if you read it

Tetsu (the kanji, if pronounced in Chinese it's "zhe2", I'm not sure if this is the one, but it's nice, and means "clear" which exactly describes Tetsu to me) = ori (Chinese: zhe2--> the one for fold) + kuchi (kou3). Ori is yield (so that I can muse more ^ ^;;) and kuchi is mouth… So… *hentai smile* you know what I mean? But you must think hentai! No no no! Hentai! ^ ^ (or there wont be any musings left to be done) Hehe… Gomen nasai… But, I'm trying to establish a love here without making lemon. Why? Cause, love doesn't need sex to nourish. I haven't grown, I'm still the one who believes that sex should not be without love (at least at the time when love feels so important), but love doesn't need sex. So you American turkeys out there (blame it on 'facets of love' thingy if you want, I've only seen it once) please give the thought a chance.

Anyway, Tetsu is a FIRST angel here (so he has about a pure heart… maybe not zero hormones, but a really good heart that looks at love a different way from Yoshiki, Hide etc, and no, Yoshiki et Hide ain't wrong!!!), and Hyde.. .Well, here, he is generally heterosexual, but he loves Tetsu. It's beyond his help, so he can feel guilty all he wants, why not treasure the feeling instead (though it'll be fun to make him guilty before acceptance, but I'll leave guiltiness, in another form, to Levin!).

Hm, but on second thought, it is only natural to want someone when you love the person according to Siew Tiup, that "lust is something that comes with love, but love is not lust". Very true. (I got a prank call once, and someone there was expecting telephone sex --> which I listened to him ramble while impassionately reading a beautiful shounen ai fic where Tetsu loves Hyde, and says "you don't even have to know"… It was really beautiful! Anyway, I really was disturbed when he said, "I love you, babe" cause this phrase is not meant to be maliciously used, and crap! I didn't say it to him, but anyway, it kinda illustrates everything… And the newer manga by Yuu Watase about the celestial girl --> manga fans should know… refer to Vol. 7. It's exactly what Watase-sensei was trying to convey! (go find out about it yourself… There's lots of Fuushigi fans out there) It's nice to hear, but if its not true then don't say it! I mean, "you don't even know what love is!"!) As for the manga, go read the "freetalk" in my hp if you are curious.

P/S: Pieces is really nice! You should get the single!!! (fate remix really spooks me… but I do admit Yukihiro did a really good job)

Extra P/S: Telephone et cyber sex is really stupid. (no, I'm not that docile, but crudely put, its for losers : "If you can't get your own sex then don't get it at all!" As just figurative speech. In fact, casual sex is stupid. :p Disagree if you want to!
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***

"It's disgusting!" Hiro laughed, still petting Taka, while Koji continued to stuff chocolate chips in his mouth.

"What is?" Koji asked, half-chewed cookies showing in his mouth.

"Close your mouth when you eat, Koji!" Hiro pointed at Koji's mouth, and Taka barked as if in agreement. "It's sick!"

"You mean, this bothers you?" He pointed at his widely opened mouth. (this is how boys act when they're not in front of girls…)

"Koji!" His big brother echoed sternly.

Koji laughed, and stuck a cookie in front of Hiro's nose, in a gesture to feed him.

"No, Koji, I said I don't want-- Mmph!" Too late, Koji had stuck the cookie in his mouth. Hiro had no choice but to take a bite, and chew.

"Sicko!" Hiro mumbled, smiling gently, feeding a cookie to Taka, who promptly ate it. "No! Koji, stop that! I don't want another cookie!"

"What's the commotion all about?" Sendagi suddenly appeared at the staircase, surprising both Koji and Hiro. Taka barked in response.

"Uh, Koji's feeding me cookies," Hiro explained feebly. If anything, he had not much of lying experience to begin with, and anyway his lies never worked. It was easier to tell the truth and be called a liar. He would be a liar both ways anyway.

Sendagi snorted impatiently. "Hey, come on up."

"What?" Koji bounced up from the couch annoyingly, while Hiro set Taka down. "What for?"

Sendagi smiled and did not say a word. They went into his room, and saw a funny sight.

Gackt was dressed up as a present! Carefully made up, sewn, and put over a cardboard box for support. So it was what Sendagi had been doing all along!

"I look stupid," Gackt mumbled, and Koji and Hiro burst out laughing. What a notion!

"Great, oniisan!" Koji managed to get out between his guffaws. Luckily, he had swallowed all the cookies before he went up to the room.

"The ribbon needs adjusting," Hiro held his sides, keeping his laughter back in. "And look, oniisan! You're just not good at sewing! Why don't you use safety pins instead?"

"Hmmm…" Sendagi grinned, and took one step back further to evaluate his handiwork. "Sounds reasonable."

"Lessee…" Koji had gotten hold of himself too. "Why don't you make a big box and put him inside, just for Hyde's surprise? I mean, he'll be wondering what could be inside such a big box… And then he opens it and all… So…"

"But we'll need to put Gackt in the box where Hyde'll be before he comes in, and it would be impossible to carry!" Sendagi said thoughtfully. "It's easier to make Hyde close his eyes and count to three. Then Gackt will appear--"

"Mmph… I get the picture," Koji nodded. "Hyde isn't coming to us, so we'll have to go to him."

"Maybe if we distract him from his house, then make him go back when we're ready?" Hiro suggested, while Taka sniffed up Gackt's ankles. Gackt could do nothing but let him be, or the costume would be spoilt.

"Yeah, but what will we do?" Sendagi asked, flinging his arms outwards. "We can't possibly kidnap Tetsu, or tell Hyde that houses are on fire, can we?"

"Not really…" Koji thought for a while. "But we can kidnap Tetsu, and make Hyde run around with us!"

"Good. You inform the gang and plan it up. Tell me after you're decided. Hiro, can you help me with the costume and the big box?" It was not a request, more of an order, but Koji and Hiro were obliged to do so anyway. For once, Gackt was smiling warmly, his big blue eyes shining with anticipation.

***

Hyde stepped in with Levin, exhausted after the long stroll from the café, and Tetsu was waiting at home, with Keanu.

"Are you sure you can do it, Keanu-san?" Came Tetsu's voice from the kitchen, while the sound of chopping stopped.

"Of course! It's so simple! It's just thawing!"

Hyde and Levin looked at each other, then greeted together, in the exact same I-feel-right-at-home tone, "Oyasumi!"

"What are you guys doing?" Hyde asked, popping into the kitchen with Levin.

"Preparing frozen pizza," Keanu muttered. "We just came back from shopping and need to have dinner."

"Do you want some spaghetti?" asked Tetsu, setting a cookbook down. "I'm learning to cook Italian cuisine."

Hyde stared in awe, his jaw dropping. "You? Cook?"

"Yeah… Practicing in case I should mess up for your birthday. I'll be making spaghetti for you!" Tetsu grinned, showing Hyde the sticks of dried pasta and uncooked meatballs. "I don't think I'll be able to make lasagna, so…"

Hyde laughed, the soft tinkles echoing in the air like bells. Tetsu blushed at the wonder of the beautiful sound, trying to keep his eyes fixed on the capsicum. "How do you know I like Italian cuisine?"

"Keanu-san told me about it," Tetsu smiled gratefully at the American, who promptly managed to hide his small smile and sad eyes behind the microwave oven door. "He said you always switch favorites."

Hyde smiled, knowing Keanu's heart. :.He really loves me….: A sad tinge in his heart tugged at his mind, regretting that he could not love him back in turn. "Thank you, Keany-chan."

Keanu got his face out from behind the oven door, and winked at Hyde knowingly.

"Can I help, Tetsu-san?" Levin asked the red headed angel, and Tetsu nodded cheerfully.

"Sure, just boil the spaghetti in water," Tetsu handed him the pot, and the bowl of spaghetti sticks. "Make sure you press it down so that the water will cover the spaghetti entirely."

"Okay," Levin took hold of the pot in one hand, and the spaghetti in another. "How do you turn on the stove?"

"I'll do it," Hyde offered. "But I think it's a better idea to fill the pot with water first, Levin-chan!"

"Oh!" Levin blushed. "You're right!"

Hyde laughed, just as a "FWEEEEEEEE!!!!" sounded, followed by a blood curdling scream coming from near the microwave. "What happened? Are you okay?"

Everyone rushed over to his side, Levin still holding on to the pot and bowl. Keanu turned to face them, his eyes large and teary, like a child pleading guilty. "I.. .I set the wrong temperature…"

Hyde began to giggle, and burst into laughter. "Tetsu-chan, you really shouldn't let Keany-chan come into the kitchen! Lessee, when was the last time I banned him from it? Yeah… The only way he knows that dinner is ready is when he sets off the smoke alarm!"

Everyone laughed at that, even three certain angels who stood standing at the corner.

"I tried to warn him," Kiyoshi said, a wee bit dismally.

"It's not funny!" Keanu blushed redder and redder. Hyde stopped laughing for a moment, wiped his tears away, and warmly placed his finger on Keanu's lips.

"Thank you."

Keanu smiled, and began to laugh, too. "I'll never cook again!"

*** (note: I don't think it is Hyde's fave cuisine in real life, but it's the only thing I know about cooking. Otherwise all I know is to make toast…)

Yoshiki sat there, grinning at the happy couple made up of Tetsu and Hyde below. He wanted Hide to appear soon, but the devil was always busy. It was indeed getting mundane; he was sure that big pioneers on Earth had more time for their girlfriends than Hide had for him. Hide had sent him messengers to tell him how much he loved him each day, and what he himself was doing, how he was faring and all.

And poor Hyde began to find huge blackbirds in his home. Luckily, they did not leave behind a mess at all, not a single bit, or Yoshiki would have killed Hide. It did get irritating, however; as it was, within those two days, silvery chokers and chains which Hyde owned were disappearing and appearing the birds' nest in the yard. Keanu's snacks were shared by the birds, and Levin had one or two flying around him even when he went off in search of his parents. He was most spooked by them. Taka had chased the birds away for him, but no sooner than Taka was gone, the birds returned again. It was a wonder they did not excrete on Levin's head, Yoshiki mused.

"Great! Dinner's ready!" Yoshiki heard Hyde's joyous exclamation, and together with Takanori, they flew closer, to see how well Tetsu had fared. Before they could get close, Kiyoshi flew out of the kitchen with two meatballs in his hands.

"Baka no Kiyoshi!" Takanori scolded.

"Oh, yeah? It's good, ahou! You should go get some yourself." Kiyoshi seemed to have taken a liking to insult Takanori, and now Takanori hardly flinched at being called stupid.

"Biiiiiiiiida!" Takanori pouted, and Yoshiki grinned at how much he seemed like a kid even though he was much older, in terms of maturity, than both Kiyoshi and him added together.

"Hey, look!" Yoshiki gasped, pointing towards a corner of the house. "The blackbird!"

"It's flying away with the meatball!" Hyde shouted, angrily chasing after the nimble winged creature. Somewhere, he managed to grab a broom and began whacking at the bird. It and its family had given him enough trouble during the two days that they were there, what with stealing food and trinkets. With a war cry, he chased it out of the house, where it settled high on a street lamp.

"Chill out," Keanu laughed when Hyde came back, his face red from the exercise and the anger. "Here, have my meatball."

"It's not the meatball I care about," Hyde said, forking up his spaghetti. "But those animals have been such a pain in the ass that--"

Keanu said nothing, but calmly and swiftly took hold of Hyde's head, and gave Hyde a short, yet deep kiss. Hyde shut up immediately, now the redness of his face nothing to do with the blackbird. The three angels stared in surprise. Right in front of Tetsu and Levin!

Kiyoshi started to say something, but shut his mouth again.

"KEANU REEVES!" Hyde blurted out, meaning to whack Keanu on the head, but Keanu dodged his fist with ease. "What are you doing!"

"The only way to shut a motor mouth," Keanu laughed, and winked at Tetsu. "Why don't you try it someday?"

"KEANY!!"

"You really should," Yoshiki laughed. "Hey, it's been so long and you haven't even held his hand yet, much less kiss him!"

Kiyoshi nodded in response. "Tetsu! Sir! Sir Tetsu! We're behind you always!"

"Hey! Tetsu-san!" Levin tugged at Tetsu's sleeve. Tetsu was red enough to begin with, from Keanu's teasing and Hyde's cute-ness when he was mad. But the temperature rose rapidly when he turned and nodded at Levin, who said, "Why don't you do that to Hyde-san someday too? You can't let Keanu-san win you, right?"

"LEVIN!"

"Look, you're red!" Levin laughed heartily. "You really mind Tetsu-san, don't you? Keanu-san! I'm behind you! Go for it-"

Keanu pounced on him, and covered his mouth with a piece of towel which he had used to get the pizza flambé out of the microwave oven, tied it around his head, and sat on Levin's back. "Hyde! On the mark-- Get set-- SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!"

"MMMPPPPPPPHHHHHH!!!!" Levin's eyes widened in shock and fear, as Hyde leapt over and tickled him, making him thrash about in a futile attempt to throw Keanu off and escape.

Yoshiki laughed, as did everyone, even kind Tetsu, who would never dream of doing that to anyone (but it is harmless anyway). "Then again, those birds do have a use… Entertainment!"

***

Aki walked along the streets, looking into shop windows. Christmas was near, and there were many products made for Christmas, but he wanted to get Hyde something for his birthday instead. :.What about Roses? But… Won't it be too obvious? Chokers and pendants are too common… Even though Hyde seems to like those a lot….:

He stopped short, suddenly thinking of someone. Of course! Gackt! Gackt had great taste in dressing, maybe he could help him get a jacket for Hyde… He paused. But Gackt did not know what Hyde liked. He would try asking the people whom Hyde was closer to, but they were either not on that much of good terms with him, or were simply too busy.

With resignation, he peered into an odd looking shop. It was a wee bit dark inside, even though it was day, and he stepped in, wondering if he could find anything suitable. He could see many strange things. Metal roses, runes made of lead, a piece of "The Fool" tarot carved out of ivory, a skull which looked so real that he wanted to run out straight away.

Yet, something told him that he would be able to find the thing, whatever it was. :.No matter how much it might cost--.: He thought determinedly, remembering the amount which he had saved up for the whole year-- thirty thousand yen (roughly US$300). He paused when he saw some authentic mummy case, complete with jewels encrusted in it. He did not even want to think about the price of the mummy case-- it might be fake, but he was sure that he could well work all his life and never afford it.

"There's gotta be something…" He muttered, turning around, and bumped into someone. There had been nobody when he stepped into the shop, so he got both a bruise and a surprise. "Sorry!"

"May I help you?" A smooth, mature voice asked. She had red eyes, he noticed, ruby red eyes rimmed with long heavy lashes. A shawl shielded the rest of her face from view, but he could see that she was at least twenty-eight year old. He couldn't stop gaping at her. She had a true substance to her which he could not describe. And so pretty, too, like a goddess of some sort. He forgot about Hyde immediately, feeling his heartbeats rush, and everything suddenly felt very hot.

"Uh, I'm looking for something for a special person." Without thinking, the words automatically came out of his mouth. Maybe it was something in her voice which made him speak the truth… "It has to be really special, but not only that, he has to like it."

"He?" She raised an eyebrow through the shawl. "And… Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

Aki shifted his weight uncomfortably onto the other leg. "Uh, I skipped school."

She seemed to smile at him through the shawl; he couldn't tell if she did. "Is there any particular thing he must like?"

Aki shrugged, now that the mention of Hyde brought him back to remember him, even though he could not feel anything even when he remembered Hyde, not with her eyes on him. His face, his smile, his innocence, seemed like a faraway dream to him now that the woman was right in front. "I don't know… He likes the coolest things, oh… Baseball. He hates basketball. And he likes to dress differently. He has a really good dress sense, and he looks good in everything he wears. Oh. And he is about your height. He's five feet tall… He has a nice voice, and…"

Aki stopped, as soon as he realized that he was rambling. There were oh-so-many reasons to like Hyde. Especially his dark features, his hair, his great body, his character, his… :.Oh my god, I'd better stop. What must she think of me, a weirdo?.:

She looked around thoughtfully, and finally walked towards the other end of the shop. From the storeroom, she came out with a mesh jacket. "This?"

Aki thought for awhile, remembering that what was most important was that Hyde would have to like it and find it useful, if it was something meant to be worn. "Nope."

She looked again, and came up with statue of liberty lawn ornament. On second thought, she tossed it aside, then, thoughtfully, she came up with a box. A blue box, about the size and shape of four large (stuffed crust) pizza cases stacked one on top of the other. There was no way it could be machine made, he thought, looking at the deliberate evenness of paint and gloss on its thin wooden surface. He wondered what could be inside.

"Omachidoosama." As if sensing his curiosity, she took off the cover carefully. Its inside was divided into two sections, one painted black, the other white. Aki could see a set of clothes in each compartment, a white dress with white lace and black leather, and a beautifully designed silk-like robe, which reminded him of an angel's.

This was the one, he thought, as he gazed at the beautiful dresses. He could see Hyde in the white dress in the black compartment… His heart for Hyde came alive again, and immediately he forgot about how useful it would be.

Suddenly, he was reminded of the price. "How much is it?"

She shook her head, still smiling. "You're just a student."

Aki was not sure what she meant. "Gomen?"

"How much are you willing to pay for your beloved?" She asked, her expression now unreadable.

"Anything," He said without thought, her voice once again entrancing him to speak the truth. "I'd give the whole world if I could. But now, all I have is thirty thousand…"

"Then you'll be able to pay for the cost," She whispered, her voice enchanting in the silence of the shop. Then, she took off her shawl, to reveal a mature and alluring face, with silky white skin and naturally red lips and a delicate nose. Her hair was black, deep black like the night, reminding him of Hyde. She was smiling, gently, yet sadly. "That's all I ask for. I made it myself, ever since--"

She stopped abruptly. Aki wondered what she was going to say, but she did not continue. Instead, she covered the box, and handed it to him.

"Twenty four thousand," She said, her voice turning more business-like. Aki held the box in his arms, carefully, then set it down. He fished around his pockets for a moment, and handed her the money in exact bills.

"Thank you… What's your name?"

She did not hesitate. "Mariko."

"I'm Aki."

"Akiba…"

"Huh?"

"Nothing," She said, putting her shawl back on. Faintly he could catch a glimpse of tears in her eyes, but decided not to be a busybody.

With a silent smile, he bid her goodbye and left the shop, glad that he had gotten a present worthy of Hyde. Briefly, he wondered what Mariko had wanted to tell him, but the excitement of seeing Hyde's happy face was just making him obsessed.

***
__________________________________________________________________________________________

Author's notes: (I know this is getting WAY too often, but… I really need to make it or I'll burst)

It's HAIDO-SAN! Well… Actually, its more about his looks than him. Remember? He used to have really pretty long hair, and crap (and yes it was then that Laruku could be classified as a visual rock band, not now… T-T) But really, I don't mind. Maybe it's because I haven't seen Laruku through the years, or things like that. Just feel a tinge of regret (that such a pretty feminine person should be gone… I-I).

But, basically, I remember what Abi said about music, how U2 was getting crappy because they were trying to grow out of it, so she doesn't blame them. Yes, after all, its already so long, and if they can't grow, there must be a problem! So, it is the same for Laruku… I believe… ^-^ That Laruku have grown… I know, I'm a just-convert, I'm in no position to judge. I don't even really know how the members are like. But isn't it pretty obvious that they've changed? I mean, Hyde is already 30 ++, if he can't grow out of that cute stage, he's gotta be… Uh….

And, I've never counted on myself for liking Laruku… At first, it was just for fun. I never really thought about liking them like Malice Mizer, even though I may like their music, I won't like them themselves… I was wrong… "Once broken considered sold?" ^^;; Okay…. Well… I hope the ex-MM perks up with his good music… (Gackt!!!) anyway, it's all Hyde's and Tetsu's fault. (SHI!!) Nothing to do with Shounen ai, though, it just comes along with my liking for Laruku (^ ^). Oh… Not X though… I'd never like anything like X. ^_~ Or D=sire. Or Blue. For each it's all different…

Oh, and Hyde's image here is the a-wee-bit-shorter-than-chin-length look. I liked that one, doesn't look too furyou (like now… ^^;), and looks innocent. It looks exactly like the character I had in mind. Oh, and… Aki here is demonstrating "crush", even as his 'faithfulness' to Hyde, it is still crush--> Yes, his crush is more serious (as he himself is not a "play-play" person), and he's very close to love, but still love isn't only on seriousness (though seriousness is important for one to love). Oh… And Mariko… Remember her? The one who saw Tetsu and Hyde in her dream in COTN?
__________________________________________________________________________________________

***

"What's the matter, don't like my new way of contacting you?" Hide smirked, as a blackbird flew to play around him.

"No, but you yourself didn't discipline them properly! They keep stealing Hyde's jewelry and all the food!" Yoshiki pouted, as Hide sat on his lap. They were on the balcony of Hyde's school. There was no shadows overhead, and below, they could see the school campus, above, they could see the clear sky. "It's been bringing them too much trouble. And you should see how they follow Levin! It's not as if he has food for them, he hasn't, but…"

"What's wrong?" Hide asked happily. "They like the dude, then. It's nice."

"But, you should also see how Hyde has been chasing them out of the house…" Yoshiki muttered. "Almost makes me afraid that he will trip and fall!"

Hide smiled gently and put both arms around Yoshiki, drawing him closer.

"Hide, I mean it--" Yoshiki began, but Hide shut him off with a kiss. Grudgingly, Yoshiki submitted to it, and sooner than he had liked, Hide let him go. He began to say something again. Hide took hold of his chin, and gazed into his eyes, making him lose all thoughts of speech. :.Just what is love? Why is one look… Only one look… One touch… So important? …I don't know… It's been so long, yet I don't know….:

"Yoshiki, it's okay. The birds don't mean any harm, and besides…" He trailed off, looking guilty. "I have no power on where they hang around, what they do and who they do it to!"

With a gasp, Yoshiki pinched Hide's cheeks with all his might (and anger), making Hide yell in pain. Yoshiki's voice came out sounding scary. "What did you say?"

"ITAI!!!!!! I! I! I…IIII…I… have… no control over them…" Hide breathed, and Yoshiki finally let go of his aching cheeks. "I'm sorry if they caused too much trouble, but they have minds of their own…"

Yoshiki smacked his forehead, forgetting all the romance they just had a moment ago. "We can't live with the blackbirds… Stealing the food and trinkets.."

Hide smiled foolishly and scratched his head helplessly. Yoshiki smiled, suddenly, and gestured for Hide to come closer. Hide leaned towards him, and Yoshiki pressed his lips close to his ears--

"BAKA NO HIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yoshiki yelled.

"Oro?" Hide gasped, wondering if he could hear anymore out of that ear. 'Ba… Ba…Kakaka…Nonono…Hide dedededede… de… de……' He could still hear the echo in his ears. "It hurts, Yoshiki!"

Yoshiki beamed, and grabbed his cheeks again, ignoring Hide's pained yelps. "There's gotta be a way, right?"

"ITAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let go! Letgoletgolet…"

Yoshiki let go, and Hide fell down from the railing onto the floor of the balcony. "So?"

Hide glanced up at Yoshiki, from below, starting to climb back onto his feet. "I say….."

Silence.

"Gomen," Hide said apologetically.

Yoshiki sighed.

"So, do you want me to keep sending you the messages, now that the problem can't be solved?" Hide asked brightly, changing the subject.

"I'm not talking to you," Yoshiki growled.

"Yoshiki--" Hide pulled Yoshiki down from the railing, and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll try to find a way. I promise. Please bear with me."

Yoshiki smiled, as Hide's hand caressed his face softly, brushing away stray strands of hair. All of a sudden, the breeze picked up, tugging playfully at their hair, Yoshiki's long white robes, and Hide's cloak. The beautiful background served to add to the atmosphere, but they did not even pay attention to the atmosphere.

All they had in mind was each other's presence, as they gazed at each other, and kissed deeply.

***

"What a beautiful sight!" Kiyoshi exclaimed softly.

"Can I go now?" Takanori asked, wanting to go back to look after Tetsu, even though nothing was bound to happen.

"Wait a moment, ahou, and enjoy the beautiful scene!"

"Leave their moment to themselves, Kiyoshi, it belongs to they alone, and no one else…"

Kiyoshi smiled. "Then this is our moment of neutral bonding! Nee, ahou?"

Takanori glared at him with dagger eyes, while Kiyoshi promptly ignored him and kept his hold on Takanori's wings, so that no matter how Takanori tried, he would not be able to get away without losing a few feathers. And Kiyoshi knew how much Takanori hated someone pulling at his feathers.

***

"It's a miracle!" Sendagi laughed. For once, his annoying face seemed warm and friendly.

"What is?" Levin asked, surprised at the sudden change of subject. The blackbird flew about him, and settled on his shoulder. :.Will they ever go away?.: He wondered, almost bursting into tears at the icy hard grip it had on his shoulder.

"Tetsu," Sendagi replied. "I'm not changing the subject."

"Why?" Levin had given up swatting at the bird. It was no use at all.

"Ever since that dude appeared, Hyde's been doing his homework. If Tetsu isn't a miracle, I don't know what he is!"

Levin grinned cheerfully. So far, everyone he liked had been kind and friendly towards him. At first, he had thought Sendagi was rude, but Sendagi was kind enough under all that half-blue-half-orange-blond hair and roughness. In fact, Sendagi had offered to bring him around the neighborhood when Hyde and Keanu was not free.

"Do you know how your parents look like?" Sendagi asked suddenly. "What are their names?"

"I don't know their names," Levin said, "But I do have a photo of them."

"Can I see? I need to at least have an idea of what they're like."

"Let me see," Levin took out his old and empty wallet, and fished out a small ragged piece of paper. "Here."

The blackbird snatched it from Levin's hands, and flew away.

"Come back! Levin gasped, running after the bird. But it flew higher and higher into the sky, and never returned.

***

Hyde was all alone for the day. Ken wanted to meet him in the alley by the school entrance for a little while, but it just did not seem like a proper place for them to meet. At least the idea that they needed to have privacy seemed reasonable, they couldn't possibly duck into a toilet for a conversation and be accused of doing rule-breaking activities. Aki disappeared after the fourth lesson, and Sendagi was not at school for the whole day. Tetsu was going around town to rent videos and buy groceries, and Keanu and Levin were sleeping at home.

It was no wonder, after Levin came home crying about the birds the other night, he thought idly, fiddling with his collar absentmindedly. The little kid had taken it so badly, Keanu offered to take him around town and look for the photograph, but of course it was like fishing for a needle in a haystack. They only returned home at four in the morning.

Silently, Hyde cursed the blackbirds, for bringing them so much trouble. It was bad enough that they had spooked Levin, but to hurt such a young kid was ridiculous. Indirectly or directly was not the matter. Those things would get their nest wrecked if they did one more annoying thing. His head was still throbbing from the bang on the head which he had taken last night, from falling down while chasing the birds out of the house. While whacking at the birds, poor Tetsu got whacked by his broom (unfortunately) and blacked out while Keanu went away with Levin. Hyde stayed home and tended after Tetsu, but when the redhead awoke, he seemed a bit shaken. Something was bugging him and Hyde did not know what, but he did not ask, since Tetsu did not seem to want to tell him, or, perhaps, if he asked, Tetsu would not even know what to tell him.

:.I might as well go home….: He thought, looking at his watch. Twelve ten, and they were supposed to meet at twelve sharp. He was not used to waiting for people; it was usually him who was late, and Ken had never been late. Maybe he had detention again. Hyde started his way home, walking along the streets by himself. He reached home, and decided to take a bath. It would help to clear his head a wee bit… It was his birthday and no one was around.

Tetsu had not yet went home, and Keanu apparently woke up and disappeared somewhere. Levin was meeting Koji, despite the fact that he had not found his parents, or the photograph.

He looked at the clear skies outside, and wondered if he should close the window of the bathroom. It was not that he was afraid of peeping toms (the window was made of glass), he was more concerned about the cool wind blowing in. It was getting too cold for him, but he decided that he was too relaxed in the tub to do anything else, so he left the window open instead.

Getting out after awhile, thoroughly refreshed, he looked around for his towel, and realized that he had forgotten to bring in the towel. He did not have a bathrobe on hand, either, and he was not going to put on his clothes when he was wet. Peeping out of the bathroom, he yelled, "Tetsu-chan! Keany-chan! Are you around?"

No answer. Hyde sighed, and decided to go out and get his towel. Just as he was in the room, a blackbird had flown in from the bathroom window and was flying away with his ring. With a yell, Hyde grabbed the towel, wrapped it around himself, and chased after the bird angrily. It was getting too much on his nerves. He was running down the stairs when he slipped, and fell.

"YAAAAAHHHH!" He screamed, as he tumbled down, his arms flung helplessly and grabbed at anything at his side-- which was nothing.

"Be quiet, will you--" Keanu opened the door and hissed, annoyed, when he saw Hyde lying there, unconscious and naked. "Egad! Haido-san! Are you okay?"

"What's happening?" Sendagi asked, looking out from the inside of the room, holding a pair of scissors. "Oh, no! Hyde!"

"What happened?" Came anxious voices from inside.

"He should be okay. I'll get a doctor. You guys continue what you're doing, okay?" Keanu said calmly, trying to hide his cheeks of sunburn (red) at seeing the naked body of a loved one. Murmurs of agreement were heard, and they quickly locked the room again. Sighing, Keanu picked up Hyde's frail body, using the towel which was lying by his side to cover his shoulders and prevent him from getting cold. He got up the staircase, and saw the blackbird again-- and tripped. Silently scolding himself, he got up, now too tired to care about the bird anymore. He found himself gazing into Hyde's unconscious face.

:.He looks so innocent when he sleeps….: Keanu thought, gently caressing Hyde's cheek. :.Such fine features, too….: His hand trailed up to Hyde's eyebrows, as if he was drawing a portrait, and to his closed eyes. A sharp pain gripped his heart, as his hand touched Hyde's lips. :.So lush, and red, as if he's wearing lipstick….: Hyde was so beautiful that it hurt him more. He would never be able to live with the fondness in his heart, he realized. He had wanted to do so much for Hyde, so that Tetsu and him would get along, and probably be together forever…

He wanted the best for him. He wanted him to be happy, even if it was at the expense of his own pain.

"Daisuki… Ha… Haido…" He whispered, leaning down to kiss those lush red lips. The sadness flooded him, as he kissed Hyde's closed eyes, his forehead, his neck, his shoulders, his chest… He stopped short. He couldn't do that to Hyde. He could not take advantage of him while he was unconscious. It was wrong… Just wrong. He loved Hyde, he wanted him, but he could not do it without Hyde's consent. He turned his gaze away from Hyde's face, forcing himself to look away from his body, and carried him to his room. Carefully, he lay a mattress out and set Hyde on it. He couldn't possibly get a doctor when Hyde was naked, but he was worried all the same. He made a phone call, and turned to Hyde's wardrobe to search for a bathrobe, one of those large comfortable ones which he always wore.

He put it on for him, and tried his best not to touch Hyde. Not deliberately. That would have to do, Keanu decided, before he did anything he regretted. Carefully, he sat aside, gazing fondly at Hyde's sleeping (?) features, trying to ignore the pain in his heart that was growing, with each moment… Someone knocked at the door, and Keanu quickly got up to answer the door. Ken's father, who lived a few blocks away, was at the door.

He was a retired doctor, who worked as a shop owner ever since he made a mistake and gave the patient the wrong kind of medicine. Luckily, it only caused the patient to vomit, nothing serious, but he was fired anyway, since the patient was an important person. As far as Keanu knew, Ken's father had gotten really careful after the incident, and never made a mistake ever again.

"I see you're aroused," Ken's father remarked, grinning.

"Eep!" Keanu glanced down, and quickly covered his semi-erection. After all, it was only moments ago when he had seen Hyde without clothes. Blushing, he quickly got back into business, hoping to distract the older man's attention. "Uh… Hyde-san's up in the room!"

*** (hehe…)

"It's been ages, and Hyde hasn't come yet!" Koji grumbled, adjusting the mask. "Didn't Ken tell him to meet here?"

Koji and Hiro were standing in wait in the alley, with gorilla masks on. Tomohiko had decided that it would be hard to kidnap Tetsu; that guy was not as hardy as Ken and others, but he was a tad large. In fact, they decided that it would be a better idea to kidnap Hyde rather than Tetsu, since Hyde was much smaller and weaker. Then they would be able to get Tetsu away, and make him help them.

"Don't wait here any longer," Suzuki came running up to them. "Hyde's in Ken's house."

"What?!" Koji exclaimed, taking off his mask. "So what have we been doing here all along?!"

"There must be a reason," Hiro said rationally, tugging at the gorilla mask. "Well, we almost got mistaken as robbers."

"Of course there is," Suzuki retorted. "Hyde fell down the stairs, and Keanu's over with him at Ken's house so that Ken's father can look after him. Luckily, it's not serious, and Hyde's going to come back after he's awake, or there won't be a party at all!"

"Where's Tetsu?" Koji asked suddenly, remembering that Tomohiko had told them that Tetsu was not with Hyde all day.

*** (be glad I chose not to have real kidnappers kidnap them, and make Hyde suffer…--> or Hi no Miko'll kill! OoO)

Yoshiki gasped, as he flew behind Tetsu, who was looking at a chapel, with an unreadable expression. Without a word, Tetsu stepped into the chapel, and was greeted by a chorus of people's voices.

"Religion…" Tetsu muttered. Something was coming to him now. Ever since he had waken up that morning, something was getting back to him, something before he lost his memory… He looked around with wide eyes, still holding on to his grocery bags, at the wooden platforms around, nailed to the walls.

"Ave, ave, ave Maria…"

Tetsu saw the carvings of things which happened, in the bible on those platforms. He wondered if the things inscribed there ever really happened. Something had come to him, something…

At the front, he saw a statue of a priest on one side. An angel on the other. Angel. He could remember it now, winged creatures. People with white wings, flying about to do their work. Three angels appeared in his mind. An angel with long golden hair, another with a short, cute cut, and the other with a hyper-punk style. Their faces appeared as nothing in his mind. Their hair was all he remembered. :.Strange,.: he thought, wondering if he bore any grudges against their hair before.

And the wings… The wings… He could remember… Unfolding wings. Of both white and black. Suddenly, he felt as if he had the feeling of flying with those wings on his back before. Such a strange feeling, those wings set on soaring higher and higher…

"Sir, what are you doing here?" Someone asked him.

Tetsu shook his head, with a forced smile. Something was bugging him. "I'm going now."

Quickly, he ran away, out of the chapel, out of its "holy grounds". He realized that he was sweating, and that he was gripping the grocery bags too tightly. Panting, he sat down, wondering what was he doing, wandering around when he was supposed to be at home celebrating Hyde's birthday. Hyde. He had better get back soon, he thought.

Quickly, he stood up, and began to walk away briskly. He gazed up at the sky. Hyde should be home by then…

The sky was beautiful. Subconsciously, he stood still, looking at the beautifully clear sky, with a few birds soaring in the air. Like… Like angels… All of a sudden, he felt a pain to be able to soar like the birds, as he had been able to do before-- Before? He was no angel. He was just a human, standing on earth, wanting to fly like all others. Just another normal human… Besides, no one had truly seen an angel before. No one knew what angels looked like, so why must they have wings?

He turned his face away from the sky, and suddenly, saw a shop. A shop, darker than outside. Like a certain dream… A certain kitchen… Non-materialistic, as if from someone's dream… He found his feet turning to there. He saw a woman, wearing a shawl, attending to a customer. He had seen those eyes before. Somehow, he knew he had… Those beautiful red eyes, which never saw of the loved one again…

Tetsu gasped. The woman heard his gasp, and in surprise, she stepped back.

"What's wrong?" Asked the customer, turning to look at Tetsu.

"Nothing," she quickly replied, and uncovered her face. Those delicate features, and the smile… She seemed to smile at him with gratefulness, and sadness… Tetsu gasped again, jumbled flashes of images coming back at him. A dark kitchen, a winged creature… Those sad ruby eyes… Hyde's glance which made him feel demeaning…

He turned and ran away.

The pain. Of being misunderstood…

He could remember that most of all. He just wanted to go home, and see Hyde's face. He did not know what use it would be, but it seemed as if the answers came back to him all at once.

He hopped onto a bus which would turn and stop somewhere nearby in the residential area. The business area had gotten too much to him… It would not be too much of a walk, but he did not want to see anymore. He wanted to get back home as fast as he could…

*** (P/S: I'm sorry, I'm not sure if there are chapels around in Japan, but the chapel is based on catholic stuff--> I was from Convent, remember? And, NO, this story is not about catholic either. I told you!)

"He's remembering!" Yoshiki exclaimed, to Kiyoshi and Takanori. "He shouldn't remember anything… Not at all…"

"I'll go back to heaven," Takanori quickly offered. "You two stay and watch over him!"

"Tetsu-sama…" Yoshiki looked as Tetsu hopped up the bus. "What are you remembering? Why are you so sad?"

Even Kiyoshi had gotten serious. "He'll be fine, right?"

"A little memory can't hurt anyone, but…" Yoshiki whispered, "Its forbidden. Remembering a past life…"

"Why…?" Kiyoshi asked, curiously.

"Well, if you had an enemy once in your past life, and he's your employee in this life, wouldn't you fire him? Or make life horrible for him? A new life is to start all over! Not to continue…"

"I see…"

"But…" Yoshiki closed his eyes, his mind wheeling to the other side of the subject. "What if it's a love just like Gackt's… Or Hyde? Won't it be sad if love is forgotten?"

"But… Love is painful… It's a fresh beginning, remember?" Kiyoshi debated, "Love is malicious."

"But, it's beautiful!" Yoshiki opposed, remembering how he felt when he was with Hide, and how happy both Hyde and Tetsu were when they were together. "It brings happiness."

"What if…" Kiyoshi smiled, knowingly, a deeper part of him showing in his eyes, "The love is one-sided?"

Yoshiki said nothing.

***
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Author's notes: (a quick one) Thursday, June 17, 1999 1:15:37 AM

Killing the heart. Remember, you're supposed to read "Kokoro No Sasayaki (I)", so you shouldn't have any trouble following why Kiyoshi said that if you remember! For him, its from pain to a beautiful bondage of friendship. When love is hurting, it isn't wrong, or sad to kill one's heart. But, what if one wants to be able to feel again? (I have! I wanted to feel again… Because… Of Laruku's music --> Written by Tetsu!! Thanks, Te-sama!… I know, it's stupid, but…) Anyway, I suppose only Gackt (in COTN, and only COTN) has only mastered the art of one-sided love, without any side effects. (He knows about Hyde's feeling for Tetsu, btw) It's actually very hard. Go learn from him! ^_~ Oh. And remember? I took a part of my dream and replaced me w/ Tetsu… ^_~
___________________________________________________________________________________________

***

Tetsu burst into the house, noises greeting his ears. He set the groceries down on the counter in the kitchen, and quickly tried to open the door where the noises were heard. "Anyone in?"

"Tetsu!" Someone shouted, and the door quickly opened. Tetsu stumbled in, and saw Hyde's classmates inside.

"What are you doing…?" He asked, surprised, when he saw the balloons, the streamers, the party hats, the presents piled up on one corner… There was an extremely large one at the end of the room. So large that it would be able to fit people in it.

"Shh!" Suzuki hissed. "They'll be back any moment! Close the door, baka! Hey, Levin! Go to the door NOW! Hyde should be here any moment…"

"Okay!" Levin darted towards the door, a blackbird flying after him.

"Bark! Bark!!"

"The thing leaves feathers everywhere…" Koji grumbled, dusting himself. "Taka! Shut up! And stop chasing the bird, you dumb mutt!"

Taka's ears drooped, and disappointedly, it scampered back to Hiro. The room was so crowded with people; there was hardly any space left to move. Tetsu stood, stunned, taking time to adjust to the new surroundings. So they had not been deserting Hyde after all! They were just planning a surprise party… And… And… With a nice, huge two-layered cake, too! One large candle, one medium candle, and one small candle stood unlit on the beautiful white cake. White, like snow… Like angels' wings…

Tetsu snapped out of his daze, when a noise was heard outside. A faint, muffled, voice, "Tetsu? Are you back yet?"

The silence was engulfing the room. Even Taka had stopped barking. Levin rushed out of the room, slamming it with a loud 'bam'.

"Haaaaaaiiiiidddddddoooooo-saaaan!" Levin cried, with perfectly disguised tears in his eyes. "The… The room…!"

"What room?" Hyde asked, worried. Anyone would be worried when a kid came rushing out with such haste. "Rats? Don't worry, it's just some small thing."

"You-- You haven't seen it yet! A-- A--" Levin could not think of anything convincing enough. "A--"

"Could it be a burglar?" Keanu suggested.

"That's it! A burglar!" Levin nodded furiously. "Seven feet tall, with a knife!"

"Seven feet tall?" Hyde raised an eyebrow. It was getting scary; it was true that such tall people lived on the earth, but in Japan? :.Maybe it's a gaijin….:

"Maybe it was six feet, but TALL!" Levin quickly said, tears flooding his eyes once again. "Please, have a look! He's inside!"

Hyde glanced at Keanu, who nodded.

"But not without arming ourselves… Should we call the police instead? It's safer!" Hyde thought aloud.

Levin was beginning to wonder if it would work. Desperately, he shook his head, still tugging at Hyde's shirt (which was borrowed from Ken's closet). Hyde saw the look in Levin's eyes, telling him not to do anything rash, and finally nodded reluctantly. Keanu stood behind Hyde protectively, (?) and slowly, while Levin cringed behind both of them, the anticipation killing him, Hyde opened the door.

"KIIIISSSHUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" Ken yelled, jumping out from the room, with a few others, knocking the three of them down.

"Hey, you didn't tell me you'd jump on him!" Keanu protested, breathlessly. Hyde lay on top of him, along with the others.

"It was last minute," Tomohiko grinned foolishly.

Hyde began to laugh, his small face filled with happiness. His whole body shook against Keanu's as tears overflowed his large expressive eyes, and fell down onto Keanu's chest. He could hardly breathe, but at the moment, he did not need to breathe.

A barely heard word was whispered, but they all heard it. "Arigatou…"

Suddenly, Keanu heard a small feeble voice coming from right behind him. "He… Herupu!!!"

***

"Gomen!!" Ken et company apologized for the umpteenth time.

"You're forgiven," Levin said monotonously, still looking unhappy.

"Cheer up! Smile!" Koji said, half happy, half apologetic.

"I'm happy enough!" Levin retorted, hoping that his throbbing ribs were still okay.

Koji glanced helplessly at Hiro, and suddenly grinned. He winked at Hiro, knowing his brother would be angry, and that it might add some oil to the fire, but he was going to do it anyway. He had wanted to do it for a long time ago, on someone, and Levin was the perfect person to do it to.

"Cheer up! SMILE!" Koji shouted, sticking his thumbs into Levin's mouths, and pulled as hard as he could, sideways.

"Ga! Fwee, fweett diiit (Wa! Quit, quit it)!" Levin shouted, angrily waving his arms about furiously. "Idadadadaiiiiii~~~ (Itai)!"

"Koji!!!" Everyone else gasped, whether they were amazed, intrigued, shocked, surprised, or just neutral, it depended on the various individuals.

Koji immediately let go, stifling his giggles, and Levin slunk to the floor now that he was without a support.

"Itai! Wah!" Levin cried, tears appearing in his eyes, as he clutched at his poor aching cheeks. He got up, and accusingly pointed to Koji. "What do you think you're doing, Koji-san?!"

Koji grinned and patted him on his head, cupping Levin's red cheeks with both hands. "Told you to smile, baka!"

"Kooooojjjjiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Everyone chorused, half-amused, half-apprehensive of Koji's deeds. Laughter were heard somewhere across the living room, and someone brought pillows down. "PILLOW FIGHT AT THREE O'CLOCK!"

"Wah!" Hyde ran around the room hugging his pillow, while Tetsu ran in the other direction, with the pillow above his head. Generally, the group split into two, both after the two 'main characters' of the party, also the ones who truly suffered during the preparation of the party. Hyde did not fight back because he was too busy running, and Tetsu was too busy running to understand that he had to fight back.

'BONK!' Hyde ran into Tetsu somewhere around in the house, and both of them lay there in a pile of entangled limbs. Before any one could shout 'help', Ken was up against them, hitting them with the pillows. Soon, after they were through with Hyde and Tetsu, they began to hit each other, and now it was Hyde's turn to lead Tetsu into a war, since Tetsu did not know how to fight.

"Protecting a damsel in distress, eh, Hyde?"

"Am not!" Hyde protested, holding his pillow maliciously over his head. Before he could start on how they were bullying someone as defenseless as Tetsu, who basically just hugged the pillow as he dodged their attacks clumsily, they closed in again.

'BONK! WHAP WHAP!'

*** (I love the old fashioned Japanese house where they have lots of space…)

Hyde plopped down onto the zabuton, completely exhausted.

"Hyde-san!" Hiro appeared suddenly, one hand reaching out to help Hyde up. Hiro's dog barked and wagged its tail, and licked his face affectionately.

"Go away!" Hyde laughed, patting the dog on the head.

"They want to open the presents now! Come on, or they'll open it for you."

Hyde lazily pushed Taka aside, and reached up for Hiro's outstretched hand. Hiro was lean and relatively tall, and strong. So different from Koji and Sendagi, too. He did not seem very much pure Japanese; he had an authentic look to his features, so dark and seductive. His long hair, too-- Hyde wondered what he himself was thinking about. Even if Hiro was not their real brother, they sure treated him like one. Hiro was very likeable.

Hyde stole a glance at Koji, who was carrying Levin around the house, in an attempt to make him give up his share of food. Sendagi had promptly disappeared; Hyde could not see him from where he was. No matter what, he still decided that Hiro did not look like Koji's brother. :.Levin, on the other hand….: He thought, wondered what was it that made Levin and Koji seem so alike. Koji had a strong and sturdy build, and Levin was just… Cute and petite. (but aren't you the same, Haido-san?) Both of them looked Japanese, but it was not exactly the point. :.Maybe, it is their character? What am I thinking about? Characters don't have to run in the family….:

"Aren't we supposed to leave it till after you guys leave, or the end of the party?" Hyde asked, suddenly.

"We want to see your happy face," Hiro replied with a small smile, and Hyde opened the door.

"Boo!"

"WAA!" Hyde jumped back in shock. "Kazuyuki-chan! What are you doing!"

The elder grinned at him, and pinched his cheeks playfully. "Celebrating your birthday!"

Hyde stopped in surprise, not even pausing to hit Kazuyuki as he normally would. "But… Aren't you supposed to be in Chicago?"

"I just came back," He replied. "But I didn't forget to get you your present! Here it is!"

Hyde took the small box over carefully, smiling gratefully.

"Not fair! Kazuyuki, you got a head-start! Hey! Hyde! Come here! We have presents for you, too!"

"Wa!" Hyde exclaimed, as he was dragged over by the few of them who quickly gathered around a table-load of presents. Boxes and packages of all sizes lay on it.

"Let's open it, Hyde!" Keanu grinned happily, as he held out a beautifully wrapped package.

"Thank you, Keany-chan…" Hyde said gratefully, with tears in his eyes, as he took it over. "Thank you, guys…"

"Don't cry, it's not what we want to see," Keanu laughed, wrapping his arms around Hyde's neck. "Smile, or Koji will do what he does best to you!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Koji-san, I haven't forgiven you!" Levin told the grinning teenager, pulling at his sleeve.

Hyde stood frozen for a while, and suddenly, began to laugh softly. Wiping his tears away, he nodded.

"Yay! Let's open the presents! Hyde-san, you'll like what I got you!" Keanu smiled. Hyde nodded vigorously, and began to unwrap the parcel to reveal a beautifully made choker. A pendant hung at the front, its details intricately crafted. It was in the shape of a sword.

"A… Sword? What does it mean?" Suzuki asked, and Keanu shrugged.

"It's nice, nee, Hyde-san! Do you like it?" Keanu asked. Hyde nodded again, this time more vigorously, and clutched it tightly in his hands.

"I… Love it… Thank you, Keany-chan!"

Keanu only grinned at Hyde's expression fondly, and said nothing. It had been his whole weeks' allowance, but just that expression of Hyde's was his reward. And a really big reward, too… The place in his heart continued to ache. "Let me put it on for you, Hyde-san!"

Hyde unclenched his fists, and Keanu picked the choker up carefully. He unfastened it, and some cheering was heard when he had finished fastening it on Hyde's neck. Hyde was wearing Ken's huge shirt which hung on him, and it showed off a part of his chest deliberately. Keanu blushed, when he saw the silvery pendant against the whiteness of his Hyde's skin.

"Perfect on you, Hyde!" Someone shouted.

Hyde grinned, the sentiment now fading a wee bit, and picked up another present from the table.

"Whose is this? Kaga-chan…?" Hyde unwrapped it immediately, and saw a box of baseball cards. "Wai! Thank you! You know what I like!"

All the presents were unwrapped pretty soon, and Hyde noticed a really large box sitting in the corner of the room. "What is that?"

"Why don't you open it and see?" It was Koji. Without a reply, and with lots of anticipation, Hyde unraveled the giant ribbon which held the box together. The lid of the box fell, and everyone stepped aside to prevent it from flattening them. Hyde gasped, and took a step back. It was… A person! A beautiful person, with large blue eyes, and gorgeous brown hair… Who looked so familiar, as if they had been some sort of lovers, or friends, of unusual and strong bondage in the previous life… Hyde gasped, as something flashed back at him, something… He quickly shook the strange feeling away.

The boy before him was dressed up as a present! That was funny. It was stupid, but cute; the outfit was made of wrapping paper with happy rabbits on it!

Hyde laughed happily. The person was blushing, he could tell, mainly because of the cute brown rabbits on his outfit. He held a card out, and Hyde read it: 'Happy birthday, Hyde, we got you Gackt for your present! Hope you like it! --Sendagi, Hiro, Koji, and Levin.'

"Levin…?" Hyde asked, confused. :.Don't tell me… Levin had found his parents, and it's in their family…? How can that be possible?.:

"He's the one who went around to buy the bunny wrapper when we tore the outfit today," Koji explained, laughing. "It's silly, but what do you expect for Levin?"

:.Oh!.: Hyde mentally kicked himself for jumping into conclusions.

"Koooji-san!" Levin pouted, hitting him lightly on the arm, and suddenly turned to Hyde. "Hyde-san…?"

Hyde nodded in acknowledgement. "Un?"

"I'm really sorry for bringing so much trouble… And, I don't have anything to give you…"

Hyde looked at the shorter boy, as a friend. Without a word, he gave Levin a bear hug, and hugged Gackt as well, making the latter blush further. "You just gave me the best present I could ever have…"

"What's the matter, Hyde, you gotta unwrap this too?" Ken teased, and Hyde quickly let go of both Levin and Gackt, turning red enough to compete with Gackt.

"I… I… I I'm sorry!" Hyde stammered, remembering that he and Gackt just met, and they did not even know each other.

"It's okay," Gackt said, a new feeling dawning over him, something different from the indifference and the melancholy he felt… And he remembered what it was which he wanted to find. Something from even before he was born, something, a feeling which could never be found anywhere else, either because it came with Hyde, or, perhaps, Hyde was the only one who was linked to it? As if to prove his point, he smiled, and patted Hyde on the head gently… Even he himself was shocked at how he felt. A very happy feeling, as if he was kind and wished everyone good…

Everyone gazed in amazement, especially Sendagi, Hiro and Koji. They had never seen Gackt smile that way before. A truly gentle smile… As if Hyde was his kid… As if the whole world was under him…

Hyde smiled back, surprised at Gackt's smile. It seemed so familiar; he was sure he had seen it somewhere before… An image flashed into his mind, the truly killing smile in a white place… In a court, where he was the accused…? In his surprise at the suddenness of it, he took a step back, tripped over something, and fell. He landed on his butt, and saw a big, blue box wrapped up in translucent red colored paper. "Eh? What is this?"

"It must have been kicked out of the place when it was stacked here," Ken explained, remembering how he had felt something against his feet when he was helping to move the huge box. "I think it was from Aki… Where's the dude?"

"Here!" Sendagi shoved Aki, who had been watching Hyde from a corner, to the front. "Unusually quiet for the whole day, too!"

"Isn't he always like that?"

"Hitoshiiiiiiii!!"

Aki ambled to the front hesitantly, his face redder than ever.

"Are you okay, Aki-chan?" Hyde asked, worriedly, making Aki bend down so that their foreheads touched. "Your face is so red, maybe you should rest…?"

"I… I… I'm fine!" Aki grinned, blushing redder than before, as happy as ever, as the 'girl' of his dreams was so near. "Rea… Really!"

"But you're so red!" Hyde protested, touching Aki's forehead, "And so hot, too!"

Someone giggled at the way Hyde put it, and all the hentai(s) in the room began to laugh. "Hot, as in?"

"Shut up!" Hyde exclaimed, turning as red himself, realizing that he should never had put it that way, with those people around.

"I'm fine, Hyde," Aki said gratefully, smiling. :.Hyde is so kind….: "Why don't you open your present now?"

"Oh, yeah!" Hyde nodded, suddenly remembering the blue box. It was relatively large, and looked interesting. Hyde wondered where Aki got the box from, but did not ask. Instead, he unraveled the ribbon holding the paper around the box, and soon, the box lay there with nothing in between it and Hyde. There was a sense of magic about the box, and Hyde noticed that it was hand crafted, carefully sand papered so that it looked like a sheet of blue material pasted over wood.

For once, he hesitated. Something was mysterious about the box, or rather, it was what lay inside which made it mysterious. :.It must have cost Aki a lot….: Hyde thought, gratefully. Aki always helped him in school, and now… Aki was such a good, and generous friend… Hyde put his fingers under the lid, feeling the rounded edges of it, and slowly, holding his breath, he lifted it carefully. To his surprise, what lay inside was nothing like the outside. Two different compartments, with two different sets of clothes, lay in there. Black and white… Like… The color of Heaven and Hell… Hyde paused, his brows furrowing. Something was coming back to him. Something, he could not quite place his finger on what…

It suddenly occurred to him that Tetsu would look like an angel in the robe from the white compartment.

Hyde shook his head, trying to make himself go back to reality. :.Speaking of Tetsu… Where is he? I haven't seen him since Hiro dragged me in….:

He looked around the room, and saw a sad figure standing there. Worried, he quickly made his way there, and looked up at Tetsu straight in the eyes, his sight trying to probe into his soul. He wanted to understand Tetsu the way Tetsu had understood him, always, when he was sad… "What's wrong, Tetsu-chan…?"

"I… I'm sorry… I've been bringing you so much trouble, and I haven't a thing to give you on your birthday…" Tetsu almost felt himself melt under those large eyes. "I'm really sorry…"

"But Tetsu, you know that it's not the gift, but the heart that counts!" Hyde protested, placing his hand on Tetsu's arm, unaware of two people's sad (jealous?) glances from aside. Ingeniously, he quickly added, "Besides, you can always cook, can't you? You can give me the spaghetti for my birthday!"

"But, it's not what people give…" Tetsu still seemed sad. Now, it had gotten everyone wondering.

"It's the process, not the ending, Tetsu-chan." Hyde debated, hoping that he convinced Tetsu more than he convinced himself. He did not even really know what he was talking about, it just seemed like what people would say on television or manga. "Dakara, Tetsu-chan… Please smile. You've already given me a really great present by being here, if you could smile, it'd be perfect."

"Awwwwww, Haaaiiidoooo!" Ken grinned, already getting into teasing mode. Deep inside, under all the playfulness, he was happy for Hyde. :.Also, he knew the exact right things to say!.:

Hyde blushed immediately, turning away. "Gah! I… I… Uh, I think I'd better go and try on the outfit Aki gave me…"

Laughter was heard, and Hyde quickly grabbed the blue box and disappeared upstairs, still blushing. Tetsu was smiling; suddenly, Keanu noticed that his smile seemed more beautiful than usual. :.Almost like an angel's….: He thought absentmindedly, clearing up the wrapping paper. :.Hyde sure could say things, beautifully, all of a sudden… Just like a movie!.: He mused. He himself would believe that he was actually living in a story, of some hentai crazy girl who liked to torture people. :.Then again, it could be a boy,.: He grinned to himself. Yes, it was a nice thought, that what he was feeling would be just fiction, and everyone could know about his feelings, in another world…? He laughed at himself for thinking stupid things.

Suddenly, he noticed Aki standing disappointedly in a corner. :.Could it be because Hyde-san just turned straight to Tetsu-san after he opened the present…?.:

Keanu shrugged it off, not wanting to think about anything anymore. But he knew that Hyde was the one to attract people. Everyone, including him, wanted to protect Hyde. Aki, Ken, Sendagi, Koji, Hiro, Suzuki, Tomohiro… Basically everyone. Just that the levels of caring, friendship (or love (crush?) in his and Aki's case) were different, much different.

*** (hehe)

Tetsu sat aside, wondering what was wrong with himself. Everything seemed so wrong, so strange, as if he belonged to another world. Now that everybody had filed out of the room, Tetsu was alone. He stood looking at the huge box, and examined it carefully. It was handmade, not bought anywhere. He wondered how much time and trouble had been taken to make the box and the costume. And Hyde was so happy… Tetsu wondered what he could make last minute. He wanted to give Hyde something really special for his birthday; he had not thought of it before, but now he was feeling left out.

A painful throb echoed in his head. Tetsu closed his eyes, suddenly seeing Hyde, sitting on a white bed, singing. He could not remember the melody, or the lyrics, but there was something he remembered… Hyde's gorgeous voice. He remembered how awed he was by Hyde's singing voice… :.A song… I could write him a song….: He thought suddenly. :.But… I know nothing about songs….:

He sighed, and sat down glumly on the table. A melody began to fill itself up in his head, a happy melody, nothing like carols or sort, rather, it sounded like… Love… Love which came from his heart… And the happiness which came along with it… (pieces?)

He began to hum, wondering what he could do with the melody. What would Hyde do, or say, if he heard the melody? Tetsu knew that he could not exactly sing well, and he would not sing if it would be a pain to Hyde's ears. :.What can I do?.:

The tune finished, beautifully, and Tetsu smiled at himself. It was indeed beautiful, but, what would Hyde think of it? What exactly did Hyde like? He remembered the time when they shared a Discman in class, it was some rock music filling his ears. His melody sounded nothing like what Hyde normally listened to, he thought, now disappointed, wishing that he knew how. He got off the table, and turned to get out of the room, when he saw Aki standing there. Tetsu's immediate response was to blush, after realizing that someone had heard what he had decided to keep a secret.

"That was really nice," Aki forced a grin. He hoped the grin would be convincing enough. The thing was, it was indeed beautiful, but Tetsu was the one whom Hyde loved. A major idiot could see it, and Aki was no 'major' idiot. Even if he was, he was just a minor one, besides, only an idiot would fall in love with Hyde… In other words, Tetsu was his enemy in love.

Aki was surprised when he saw Tetsu, smiling both gratefully and sadly. Tetsu shook his lowered head, "I don't think Hyde-san will like it…"

:.Oh, so he's composing it for Hyde… I….: Aki sighed, knowing that he himself would never be able to create the same kind of music. Despite how he wanted to agree that Hyde would never like such stuff (he knew Hyde would, as long as Tetsu wrote it for him), he nodded, and forced another smile, "I'm sure Hyde-san will like it."

Tetsu beamed, not one like a child who just got praised, but a grateful, happier beam, now that answers to his problems were found. He would hum it for Hyde, and Hyde might like it! Quickly, he dashed out of the room, and upstairs, to look for Hyde. Without thinking, he barged into Hyde's room, hoping to find him inside. Indeed, Hyde was inside, reaching for the dress which was laid on a chair.

"Hyde-san!" Tetsu happily exclaimed, too caught up in his own happiness to notice Hyde's shocked expression. "Listen--"

"Uh, do you mind closing the door?" Hyde asked, blushing a wee bit, using the dress to shield his naked body from the crowd outside. Quickly, he forced a smile to hide his discomfort, knowing that he wasn't supposed to have any since both of them were male, but… "What are you doing?"

"Hyde, Aki said… He said that he's sure you'll like… I… Uh… What I composed for you…" Tetsu stammered, the excitement getting to his speech. Now he was not even sure if Hyde would like it, not that he doubted Aki. His excitement dropped a notch, and he drew in a breath to try to calm his heart.

"Uh, can you please wait till I'm done with changing?" Hyde grinned forcefully, a bit sarcastically. He understood Tetsu's enthusiasm, but he himself was trying not to die of embarrassment in front of Tetsu. Even though he was living with Tetsu, he had never seen Tetsu naked, and vice versa. He wondered what had created the embarrassment; maybe it was because of their mutual feeling…

"Oh!" Tetsu blushed. He quickly closed the door, hoping that Hyde was not angry with him. Hyde had turned around to put the dress on, and Tetsu noticed his back, small and fair. So nice, just like every part of Hyde. He remembered how much he had needed to see Hyde, but now that he was here, Tetsu felt as if nothing could separate them, nothing from reality, and beyond…… He glanced into the mirror which Hyde was facing. He could see Hyde's gorgeous face reflected in the smooth surface. So different, from other people… So different…

Tetsu shook his head, hoping to clear it of its cloudy thoughts. He had been thinking too much recently… He wondered, if Hyde knew something about his past? Otherwise… Otherwise, he wouldn't have remembered that demeaning look, and… Tetsu closed his eyes, happenings of the day coming back to his mind. The beautiful woman, with ruby red eyes, and the wings of the angels… Those faceless heads, complete with a halos, too. How did they look like?

"I'm done, Tetsu-chan, you can open your eyes now," Hyde's smiling face filled his appearing vision. Tetsu's thoughts came back to reality, and he smiled back at Hyde. Hesitantly, Hyde stood straight, and turned a round for Tetsu to see, "I think I look stupid… What do you think…?"

He was surprised at the way Tetsu looked. Tetsu looked as if his soul was sucked back into the past, leaving only his body in the present.

"Tetsu…?" He asked, worried, as he waved a hand in front of his unmoving eyes. "Are you there? Tetsu?"

Tetsu blinked. The clothes… Looks exactly like what Hyde was wearing in his vision… Hyde had black wings, and the beautiful white dress decorated with white frilly laces and ribbons, adorned with beautifully arranged leather… "A… Akuma…?"

"Akuma…?" Hyde parroted, not understanding. "This makes me look like a demon?"

"I… I don't know! I'm sorry!" Tetsu shouted, standing up suddenly, his hands clutching at something in the past. "I really don't know… What it is… I don't want to know… It's all so confusing…!"

"What is…?" Hyde was now concerned. There was something dangerously wrong with Tetsu, he noted. Tetsu's grip was tight on him, so painfully tight that he almost felt the nails dig into his skin. "Are you okay, Tetsu-chan…?"

"I… I'm fine," Tetsu whispered, uncertain, not wanting Hyde to worry. He realized that he had an outburst at those flashing images, and he was much too flustered to deal with those right then. There was something about the way the past was being revealed to him, like a mystery, but he could not exactly grasp it… Hyde… A demon…? His grip on Hyde's shoulders loosened. "I'm sorry… I'm really sorry if I caused you any trouble, Hyde-san…"

"You didn't," Hyde grinned boyishly at his angel, reaching up to brush the hair away from his face. "You helped me more than I could ever want, Tetsu-chan."

Tetsu said nothing; it was another of those times. Another time where words were too limited to express the heartfelt emotions, that tugged so much at their hearts… He took hold of Hyde's hand, gently, and kissed it. He let go, with a smile. Hyde blushed, surprised at Tetsu's sudden move, not know what to do. Yes, Tetsu never said it out loud, but he knew he loved him… Wasn't this a good evidence…? He asked himself. He was sure Tetsu felt the same way as he did; he wanted to believe so. :.But, what if Tetsu doesn't know how people act to show their friendship…?.: He thought suddenly, remembering Tetsu's innocence. He did not even know the 'f' word, so how could he know about such things? :.I… Am I the only one who feels this way…?.:

"Tetsu-chan, how would you like to wear the other dress? I can't possibly put the two on at the same time, so…" Hyde quickly said, hoping to break the sudden change in 'temperature'. He was now doubtful, even though, he had been so sure that they shared a love… Even before they were born, in a time which was forgotten… But, he could not be sure. There will be no way to be sure about such things.

"Really?" Tetsu asked, surprised that there was another one in the blue box. Aki had gotten some strange things, he thought; of all the gifts Hyde received, there was only one 'Gackt', and one pair of dresses. Hyde even got two sets of the same collector's baseball cards, which he graciously kept as a momento of friendship. Tetsu peered into the box, and saw a white embroidered robe in the white compartment. Carefully, he lifted it, and saw Hyde smiling, with a small nod. :.This is the one,.: Tetsu thought, studying the simple robe. It was made of something smooth, with a sheen over it. There was something which half resembled a cross in front, where an excessive piece of cloth hung, as an ornament, with two strips of white cloth attached at the front. The sleeves were huge and hanging, and there was a flowy cape at the back. It was strange, none that he had seen before, not even in the chapel, but it was so familiar…

Suddenly, those three bodiless heads wore similar robes. They had wings, white wings like doves'… Tetsu wanted to cry out, the mystery was revealed so heartbreakingly slow. So little… :.But, if they are angels, and my companion… Was I an angel? If I was an angel, then… Hyde-san…? A demon…? Why? What is it about us….: He felt his heart jerk, and his eyes felt hot. But those hateful tears were not appearing. He snapped out of his daze, and unbuttoned his checkered long sleeved shirt, thoughtfully. He wanted so much to just cry and release it all, yet…

"Haido…" Tetsu whispered, a painful expression replacing the thoughtful one on his face. "Why are you appearing in my past?"

"Tetsu-chan…?" Realization struck Hyde as he realized that Tetsu was regaining his memory. He could not remember what had happened, and if they had met before the time when they found Tetsu, only recently… "I was in your past?"

"…Gomen nasai!" Tetsu apologized, his face red. "I… I'm blabbering nonsense again…"

"It's okay, Tetsu-chan, you do what you want, but… If there is anything, tell me, okay…?" Hyde stared straight into those beautiful brown eyes, wishing to see what was behind them. There was something so mysterious about Tetsu, something that made him wonder… Despite the non-denial and the innocence in those eyes… "I will listen! I won't laugh, I'll listen, and I'll try to help you the best I can, like you did!"

Tetsu smiled again, a hand reaching out to caress Hyde's smooth cheeks. He wondered what he could tell Hyde. There was nothing much; it was silly to let apparitions worry himself or Hyde. "I'm fine… Thank you for caring…"

Hyde blushed again, the umpteenth time for the day, now that Tetsu's actions were positively… Positively… There was no need to say a single thing, once again. He nodded, acknowledging the silent feeling.

Tetsu withdrew his hand, unaware of Hyde's discomfort, and proceeded to change into the robe. Now that Hyde had a chance to have a glimpse of how Tetsu look like naked, he began to wonder if there was anything wrong with himself. An adolescence and not aroused. He remembered the conversation between the group of his friends and him, about idol singers, masturbating, and beer. He got branded as abnormal because he left halfway due to not wanting to talk about it. There was nothing defective about Tetsu's body, he thought idly, blushing at the thought itself. He did not want to go further into it, and looked away, letting his thoughts wander about what could be in Tetsu's past that was so haunting… What if Tetsu was an assassin in the past…? What if he recovered, and went back to being an assassin? Hyde refrained from gasping. His thoughts were getting weirder as he aged, he mused. Still, there was no telling what could be in that angel's past… What if he really was an assassin who would kill anybody? Would he kill Hyde if Hyde found out about the secret?

Hyde stole a glance at Tetsu again, and shook his head slowly. :.No,.: He told himself; he did not believe Tetsu would, but there was no telling of what would happen… There was just too many possibilities and too much chances.

***

Gackt looked around the living room, wishing that he could get out of the uncomfortable clothes, but he was obliged to keep it on until the party ended. He shifted his weight onto the other foot, wishing he could just sit down without worrying about crumpling up the paper box, but there was no way he could do so. With a sigh, he paraded around the house, watching the blackbirds fly towards Levin. The dog ran towards the blackbirds, and the blackbirds chased Levin around. Hiro quickly ran towards both of them Levin and Taka, but Taka only thought that Hiro was joining in the game, and turned to chase Hiro.

"What are you playing?" Koji came running towards them, chasing Taka around, which in turn was chasing Hiro. It made a funny sight, and Gackt could hardly refrain from laughing.

"Oi, quit acting spastic!" Sendagi called from aside. He was playing poker.

"Gackt! Wanna play strip poker?" Asked a senior.

With a small tired smile, the youth shook his head, knowing he would never want to play strip poker with *them*.

"Koji! Strip poker? What about you, Hiro? Levin?"

"Huh? No!" Koji yelled, straight away. Hiro shook his head, and Levin was near tears; those blackbirds were scaring him. He did not answer.

"Che!"

"How are you feeling?" Aki came towards him from the room. "This party is getting mundane."

"It's fine for me, I suppose… Are you going to play strip poker with them?"

"Oh? Of course not!" Aki grinned. "I think they cheat. Look! Ken's already lost his shirt."

Gackt nodded. Once again, he had regained his expressionless posture, the earlier feeling which he had felt gone. He wondered what it was about Hyde which made him feel so, but he could never figure it out. Surely, there must be something. Maybe, it was something which came from the past, something from a past life where they had met… Gackt knew that that place in his heart was up to Hyde to fill. He knew it even before he saw Hyde. By seeing Hyde, it was confirmed. "Where's Hyde-san?"

A flicker of sadness flashed across Aki's eyes, and he quickly blinked it away. "I think he's upstairs with Tetsu. He said he was going to change into the dress I gave him."

"Dress…?" Now, Gackt was skeptical. He hated men in dresses. He wondered how Hyde would look in the dress, like a man in a dress, or a young girl? He was not sure whether to think otherwise, since Hyde was the one… Yet… "Why did you get him a dress?"

Aki smiled, and shrugged. "I thought it was perfect for him… I wanted to get him something else, maybe a suit or a jacket. I wanted to ask you to come along, but I figured you don't know him, so…"

"Those long jackets are okay, I guess," Gackt nodded. "I think it has the beauty tailored in it."

"I don't know. I know nothing about Hyde, really." Aki shrugged again. "But, he and Tetsu-san…"

"Tetsu-san? The redhead?" Gackt asked. He had never really paid attention to him, until Hyde turned towards the redhead. Surprisingly, he had been so apologetic over one present. Gackt himself had forgotten to get Hyde a present after being wrapped up like one, and he felt nothing about it. But this Tetsu… He really cared. "He's almost like an angel…"

"You think so too?" Aki asked, smiling sadly. Gackt saw the sadness like prism reflecting light. Aki liked Hyde. "And Hyde, he's just like a demon… I mean, imagine, an angel and a demon. Isn't that cute?"

"……" Gackt nodded. :.Aki, why are you still smiling if it is so hard on yourself? Why do you try to bear the pain? I don't understand….:

***

"Aki-chan! Aki-chan~"

"Haido-san…?" Aki turned, and saw the beautiful boy standing at the staircase.

"How do I look?" Hyde grinned, skipping his way down the stairs. "Hey, Tetsu-chan! Hurry up, the public's waiting!"

"This is not a stage act…" Tetsu mumbled, as he appeared at the bend of the staircase. "Hyde-san!"

Hyde skipped towards Aki and Gackt. Gackt had an unreadable expression on his face, as if he was fighting with himself. Hyde wondered if Gackt hated it, and glanced questioningly at him. Gackt smiled, "You're very beautiful."

"Do you mean it?" Hyde asked. He had never been with Gackt before, so he did not know if Gackt could accept it. He knew the rest would accept, even though they would tease. Especially Ken.

"Makotoni."

Hyde grinned, like a satisfied cat, and Tetsu walked towards them. The redhead was blushing. "I… I hope I look okay…"

"You look just like an angel, Tetsu-san!" Aki grinned, despite the pain in his heart. Once again, Gackt wondered why Aki forced himself to smile. "You're perfect."

"Thank you," Tetsu smiled a small smile. Aki was so kind, he thought, wishing he knew how to thank him. Aki always reassured him.

"Sou, Aki-chan?" Hyde turned a round, for Aki to have a proper look. "You got this for me, so you have to say something!"

Aki nodded. "Utsukushii."

Hyde grinned, and dragged Tetsu over to the people who were playing strip poker. They were obviously against Ken; he was struggling to keep his underwear on. "Hey guys, how do I look?"

"Kawaii!!"

Ken nodded, grinning. He was not the least bit bothered by the fact that he was losing. "Hey, Hyde, do you know what you and Tetsu look like?"

"Un?" Hyde looked like a cat, as his arms wrapped around one of Tetsu's arm. They looked almost like a couple.

"A pair of lovers! An angel and a devil in love.. Oh, forbidden lovers!" Ken teased, "Foooorbidden lover~ Awai~ kioku~"

"KEN-CHAN!" Both Hyde and Tetsu were red.

"Hey, what song is that? I never heard of it before!"

"Hyde and I wrote it… Isn't it nice?"

"Ken-chan! I told you not to sing it in front of other people! This sort of thing… This is the thing that belongs to only both of us!" Hyde was really angry, Tetsu noticed.

:….The sort of thing that belongs to the two of them… If, I hummed the song to him, and he thought of the lyrics, will it belong to only two of us…?.:

"What is the use of a song if no one else hears it?"

"Besides, it's not about an angel and a devil--"

"Aw, Hyde! Stop being such a square! Ken, sing it for us!"

"Nah, Hyde'll kill me," Ken winked. "Nee, Haido?"

"Yeah! …Hey, what are you playing?"

"Strip poker. You wanna play?"

"Ha! I see Ken-chan you aren't good at it!"

"They CHEAT!" Ken laughed, despite himself. "I'll never cheat!"

"How about the time when we were at a class field trip to Kyoto for three days? You admitted to it yourself, didn't you?"

"That was different! The past! The past! If I'm cheating, would I be in this state?"

"True… I think I'll play, since there is nothing else to do. Tetsu-chan, want to join in?"

"Okay," Tetsu agreed, and sat down with them. "What do I do? What's strip poker?"

"Uh…I'll help you, Tetsu-chan!" Hyde offered, clearing up the cards.

"How about this… We'll each get a partner, and if the pair loses, both of them will decide between themselves who to strip!" Ken suggested. "It should be fun to see two people quarrelling over it!"

"Ken-chan! Are you a devil, or what? Wait! Tetsu-chan, let's go and change into our normal clothes!"

Ken grinned. "Aki, Gackt! You'll have to come over, or we'll make you dance naked at the lawn!"

"Can't we have a choice?" Aki asked, worriedly glancing at Gackt, who just shrugged. The sat down, and someone finally dragged Koji, Hiro, and Levin over.

"I'll pair up with you, then, Hiro!" Koji smiled.

"Un," The sweet brother nodded.

Ken dragged Levin over, and soon everyone were settled. Gackt was pairing up with Aki.

"Since we're in pairs, why don't we get the one to undress the other?"

"Agree!"

"This is going to be fun…" Everyone's gazes turned to Hyde and Tetsu, who just returned from upstairs.

"Eh?" Tetsu grinned innocently at Hyde, who shrugged awkwardly.

***

"Wah! Ken-san! You can't do this to me!" Levin cried, jumping away.

"Well, it's your turn!" Ken chased after the kid, who clutched to his boxer shorts tightly.

"No!"

"Yes!" Ken motioned for everyone to grab hold of him. Suzuki pounced on top of the kid, and Tomohiko grabbed his legs to stop him from kicking. Ken towered over the protesting kid, and pretty soon he had it off. With a laugh, he ran away with the shorts slung over his shoulder, while they let go of Levin. "Hey, Levin, kawaii teddy bear boxers!"

"It's these chase scenes that make things interesting," Hyde laughed, as Levin chased after Ken.

"Wu! Shut up!" Levin jumped towards Ken, hitting him in the bare chest. "You… Big bully!"

"Itai! Stop it, Levin!" Ken laughed, catching his fists. "It's the rules of the game!"

"Hey, let's get back, or you'll have to strip again to make up for it!"

"Wah!" Levin quickly ran after Ken, and dragged him back into the circle. "I'm back! I'm back!"

This time, Koji and Hiro lost. And badly, too.

"Hiro! Unfair, you're the only one who hasn't lost a thing!" Tomohiko shouted, "You're gonna make up for it by taking off your shirt and your pants!"

Shouts of approval sounded, and Hiro blushed ten shades of red, but he allowed Koji to undress him. Koji was not exactly comfortable about undressing his brother, but Hiro openly accepted it. After some protesting about unfairness, Koji tugged Hiro's shirt off, and hesitantly unzipped his leather pants. Much to everyone's surprise, Hiro was not wearing anything underneath.

"Now I suppose you're happy," Hiro griped silently, folding his arms. Koji blushed as he let go of the article of clothing, letting it slide down his slim thighs, to the floor. He was nothing like Levin, though, he coolly sat down and continued with the game. Everyone marveled at his good figure, either jealously or relatively interestedly, but tried not to show it. Pretty soon six more rounds ended, and more clothes joined the floor. By then no one had lost nothing, and even Levin, much as he protested, had a pretty good time.

"Let's pig out," Keanu suggested. "I've bought tons of sushi and Kazuyuki got the sake! Tetsu will heat up some pizza while we're at it, and Ken will grill those steaks!"

"What about curry rice?" Asked Ken, who pointed at the packet of 5kg rice. "Doesn't Hyde like curry rice?"

"Too bad, you were supposed to take care of the rest, and we don't have the ingredients for the curry!" Suzuki stuck his tongue out at the unshaven youth, who sighed.

Pretty soon, dinner was done with, and everyone was too full to move.

"Can I put on my clothes? I'm freezing!" Levin complained, rubbing his hands together. "TURN UP THE HEATER!"

"No, no one is supposed to do so until twelve midnight, and it's no more than ten." Koji pinched his cheeks playfully, and Levin slapped him away. "Burp!"

"Koji! You have the manners of a pig!" Hiro told his brother, who grinned and burped louder.

"Oi!" Hyde yelled from a side, crawling over to the two. "Did you steal the sake bottles?"

"No, but I think Sendagi took it. Where's Ken?"

"They're having a karaoke competition, and he's singing some stupid song," Hiro informed his brother. He had only one glass, and that was all. Koji had more than Hiro would have liked, but he was not drunk. He had a good stomach for alcohol, he had said.

"Let's play truth or dare! Now that we're half-drunk! We'll make use of the sake!" Kazuyuki danced towards them, suddenly hurling Levin up. "You're underage, don't drink too much!"

"No," Levin shouted, "I won't! Let me down!"

Kazuyuki set him down, and signaled for everyone to come and sit down. Lazily, they gathered, and sat into the big circle as they did earlier in the day.

"Truth or dare? So boring!"

"We've already lost most of our clothes, so I guess it’s no use to play strip poker anymore, is it?"

"Hmm. This is a good chance to learn some *interesting* things about people, nee!" Ken grinned evilly, looking at Hyde. "Hyde, truth or dare?"

"Hn! Dare!" Hyde stuck his tongue out at him childishly.

"Good! I dare you to kiss Tetsu!"

"Wah!" Hyde slapped his forehead, "You cheater!"

"You'll have to do it, or we'll make you listen to Max's newest album ten times over!"

"No fair!" Hyde cried, shaking his head vigorously. "That's blackmail!"

"Heh heh, so you kiss Tetsu!" Ken winked, "I know you can't wait to do it!"

"Am not!"

"Come on, you chose dare and so you have to do this!" Even Sendagi was getting into the essence of the game, even though the blockhead was hardly aware of Hyde's love towards Tetsu. "Fully, on the lips!"

Blushing, Hyde turned to face Tetsu, who was as red as he was.

"Gomen, Hyde-san…" Tetsu apologized, lowering his head.

:.Is it really so bad…?.: Hyde wondered. He realized that despite how much they gazed at each other, they had never kissed once before. :.What are you thinking of, Tetsu-chan?.: He almost felt his heart cry out, in a leap, which was almost painful. He treasured Tetsu so much… "I…"

Tetsu glanced up. Hyde noticed, even his neck was turning red. Slowly, Hyde looked at his thin lips, hesitantly. He had never really kissed anyone before, except the two times when Keanu had taken him by surprise. His gaze trailed up to Tetsu's eyes, and as if in slow motion, he leaned forward, closed his eyes, and kissed him, merely a small peck on his lips. And it felt as if his breaths and heartbeats had stopped.

He stole a glance at Tetsu, and found that he was almost as red as he was.

"Aa! Look, Hyde, you're blushing! So is Tetsu!"

"Am not!" Hyde retorted, trying to hide himself under a mask of indifference. "I get to torture you!"

"Hey, let's go anti-clockwise so that everyone can have a choice," Kazuyuki suggested.

"But turning the bottle is more exciting!"

"But this way, it is more fair~!"

So it was. Sitting beside Hyde, was Hiro. Truth. Hyde thought for awhile, and asked something stupid. He was of course greeted by a stupid answer, and everyone did stupid things in the stupid game. Pretty soon, they were all pretty tired of doing what most of them chose-- dare.

"Let's just ask a random question and let's discuss it," Someone suggested.

"Fine," They agreed. They were all too tired and lazy to move by then.

"Hey, don't you think Max is hot?"

"No!" Hyde stuck his tongue out impishly, reaching out for the warm bottle.

"They're so edible…" Ken said, licking his lips sensually.

Hyde shrugged, and leaned onto Tetsu, now too lazy to move anymore. There was a slight headache, and a haze hung over his vision, but that was all. He loved warm sake.

"Hyde, why is it that you don't talk about them at all?" Suzuki protested, poking Hyde in the ribs, making him double over.

"Quit it!" Annoyed, Hyde attempted to brush his finger away. "I don't like what you guys talk about! Don't you feel anything at all? Also, I hate their music!"

"Feel? How about aroused?" Someone suggested, and pulled a magazine out. "Odoroki!"

"Wow!"

Hyde burped, and sat leaning against Tetsu, who was blushing. "Why aren't they wearing any clothes?"

"Because it's meant to be?" Another person suggested, and Tetsu tried to look away, but Hyde, who was lying against Tetsu, pulled him back so that he could rest more comfortably.

"See, Hyde, even Tetsu's aroused!"

Hyde snorted, and closed his eyes.

"GAAAH!!!!" He exclaimed when someone pried his eyes open. "What the hell--"

"Don't tell me you don't like it!"

"I don't!" Hyde protested, swatting at the book like a fly. "Get lost, you baka!"

"Nee, you *are* aroused!" Someone had cupped his hand over Hyde's crotch, making him yelp in shock.

"Oi!"

"Your body don't tell lies, Hyde-chan! So when are you going to get laid? Everyone is doing the same!"

"I don’t, want, to, get, LAID!" Hyde yelled angrily, trying to get up, but ended up falling flat on his butt.

"This is not exactly a nice topic," Hiro commented, curled up into a ball to keep himself warm. "Leave him alone if he doesn't want to talk about it."

Koji nodded, barely awake. Poor Levin was stuck around them, trying to get away.

"Come on, Levin, aren't you interested too?"

Levin shook his head. "I'm only thirteen! Let me off, will you?"

"I started at ten…"

"I started at four! Can anyone top that?"

"Shut up, you all! Can't you talk about something else? Is it all you can talk about, sex?" Now Hyde's blood was boiling. He stalked towards the staircase, trying not to trip over his own feet and fall. Tetsu quickly chased after him, apologizing to all of them.

"What is it about you?"

"Maybe we pushed him a little too far, and he happens to be drunk," Keanu suggested quietly. He himself was interested, if only a wee bit, but he found that they were much too enthusiastic about everything. Sure, it was the right age, and all, most of them were already sixteen. "Hyde doesn't like such things."

"True… He's abnormal. Maybe he's only interested in guys!"

"What about Tetsu? He's the one living in the same room as Hyde, isn't he?"

Biased opinions began to fly across the living room.

"It's true that they are living in the same room, but so far I don't think they've done anything," Levin said suddenly, surprising all of them.

"Heck, you'll never know…"

Finally, they calmed down and decided to talk about something else, since it was Hyde's birthday and the last thing they wanted to do was get him mad. Hyde did get down, after some persuasion and bribery.

"Hmm. I've always wondered, if Tetsu's in love with anybody?"

Tetsu blushed, refusing to say a single thing. Hyde laughed, soft tinkles echoing in the air, making him blush harder. :.Maybe I shouldn't have drunk,.: He thought.

"Sendagi?"

"Keizou," Sendagi replied without hesitance. "She's nice."

"Who is she?"

"Someone from SHS," Sendagi replied, "Didn't you all see her?"

"Ah, yeah, she's pretty."

"I like Chieko!" Ken pronounced, not serious at all. He was never serious after his one true love left him. It was almost as if she had stolen his heart and left nothing there, but a wall of coldness.

"I'm in love with Asuka! She's so delicious!"

"Have you done 'that thing' with her?"

"Twice," The latter replied proudly, totally forgetting about their principles on not annoying Hyde.

"How was it?"

"She's the best."

"Do you remember Takako?"

"Of course!"

"……" (censored…)

Tetsu was getting uncomfortable once again. He was not the only one; so were Hiro, Levin, Aki, and Keanu. Sendagi said nothing; he did not join in, nor was he against them. Koji was slumbering comfortably on Hiro's naked lap, much as Taka tried to wake him up.

"Why is it that you must associate sex with love and all?" Hyde suddenly blurted out.

"I'm sorry, Hyde, we didn't mean it--"

"But… Love is not all about sex, is it?" He yelled, accusingly, making them all freeze. The dude was really angry. "Love… Do you really know what love is?"

"But, Hyde, it's only natural to want someone whom you love…"

"Yes, but it should not be what love is all about!" Hyde scolded, his face red with anger and alcohol. He blinked his vision clear, and stumbled towards the door, wanting to get out of the house.

"Hyde, it's raining outside!"

"I'm going to get a breath of fresh air…"

"Hey, at least put on your clothes!" Ken tossed a jacket towards Tetsu, and winked at him. Tetsu nodded, and quickly put his shirt on. Hyde was out on the streets by then. The silence in the house engulfing the crowd.

"Is the party over?" Asked Sendagi, worriedly.

"Nah, Hyde will be back soon, with Tetsu. It's raining, remember?"

Koji finally stirred and glance around. "Aren't you cold, Hiro?"

Hiro shook his head, "I'm fine."

Without a word, Koji hugged Hiro, hoping to give him some of his body heat. Hiro was not much into drinking, so he would never get warmed up the way he was. Taka scampered over to Sendagi, licking his master's brother's face, cheering him up instantly.

Levin glanced over at Koji and Hiro with a longing, and snuggled close to them. Without a word, Koji took him in the other arm. "You guys are just like pets!"

"Koji-san…" Levin whispered, now warm, reaching out for another cup of sake. "Anata ga suki desu… Ai… Sonna suki…"

"Suki?" Koji repeated, surprised. Levin was now asleep, not even knowing what he had just confessed. The porcelain cup slipped from Koji's fingers and hit the floor with a dull thud, splashing sake all over the floor. Hiro looked worriedly up into Koji's face.

"Koji…"

"It's okay," Koji smiled.

***

"Hyde-san! Hyde-san!" The young man ran towards the shivering figure who was staggering along the road. "Wait for me!"

"Deha," Hyde stopped, cocking his head on one side, looking at Tetsu from a corkscrewed angle. "I'm waiting!"

Tetsu ran towards Hyde, ignoring the roughness of the ground against his bare feet. "Hyde-san…"

"Un?" Hyde let Tetsu put the jacket over him. "Arigatou, Tetsu-chan… Hey, you're shivering, too."

"I'm fine," Tetsu smiled weakly, putting an arm over Hyde's shoulders, hoping to keep him warm. "Don't you want to go back?"

"I don't know… Not yet…" Hyde muttered, as they walked in the rain, both of them not wearing any shoes. "I hate it when they talk about that… I'd try my best to listen, but I really couldn't… It's so frustrating, too, when I find my body disobeying…"

Hyde trailed off, letting his head rest against Tetsu's body. Tetsu said nothing, and they continued to walk for a while, along the quiet alley, where people were at home.

"…Why do you hate it?" Tetsu was curious.

"……"Hyde lowered his gaze. "Am I weird, Tetsu-chan?"

"No! You're not weird, Hyde!" Tetsu protested. Hyde knew that he would not lie. "It doesn't matter if you don't like them… You're still alive, and a human, right?"

Hyde nodded, "Un… You know, Tetsu-chan? It's because of you that I feel guilty about it… I was just like them… But… I learnt faster than them… Love is not sex… I love you, Tetsu-chan, and I'm still uncomfortable about it… I know that they say its normal to want someone you love, but I don't 'want' you at all in that way, Tetsu-chan, I love you, but… Tetsu-chan… But, if so, does it mean I don't love you at all?"

"I understand," Tetsu smiled, something surging up within him, something warm despite the pouring rain. "Everyone is doing it, but… You're different, Hyde…"

"I…" Hyde stopped suddenly. "Can I kiss you, Tetsu-chan?"

"Eh?!" Tetsu exclaimed, blushing.

Hyde looked up, and said nothing. Slowly, he closed his eyes, and waited. Uncertain, Tetsu leaned down, and their lips touched.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

To be continued…

11:42:12 PM Monday, June 21, 1999

Author's notes:

Gomen ne!! Wah! Everything is so long… I spent so much time on the party… But this thing, is not about plot, it's about relationship… I'll make "Coupling With II". It'll be a continuation of the 'theme' (remember the quote from LS by at the front?) You see… The thing is, Yuu Watase's "Aka shi no ya'xxxxxx'" (I don’t know the title in English or Japanese, but I know it in Chinese only) only mentioned, "Although everyone is doing it, and maybe its nothing much… But this is an important thing… Those who only did it for money or thrill, will they have this feeling?" (see after Aka and the guy has 'done it', vol. Seven. Just like Fuushigi, it only mentioned doing it in love… But, it never mentioned that love is not all… I know, it helps to interact with someone older than 14 (snicker), even though not everyone older than 14 helps ^^;; "guy no. 2" (Note: I don’t know how to pronounce the name, but in Chinese its "xiong2 fei1".) was the one to say "because of love there is the want", but… I know, it is important and should only be done in love… But Watase-sensei seems to have exaggerated it too much, until it seems like "love should not be without sex" kind of thing… (I know, I'm sort of a critic, but I have begun to think so… Although I'm not like my classmate who said it is disgusting --> it *is* beautifully expressed, really, and stuff… the love, the everything is perfect, but still… --> My classmate said that she won't buy the manga again because of this scene… -_- I think she's missing out on it… So am I cause I'm borrowing it from her ^^;;;)

And I recognize that I have indeed written too many lemon scenes in my past fics, yes, I don't mind it, not that it takes up too much time; all my fics take up time, and the lemon scenes do fit in, but… I dunno… I was a lot like Watase-sensei…

Oh, maybe I'm over exaggerating it, but from the way the guys are talking about it in my class (and omigod it's a mixed school), and due to a manga, I gather that this is what boys do talk about during adolescence in an all boy's skool ^^ (grin)

…Waw, no plot and even longer than Beside The Great Lakes… ^^;;;

P/S: Sorry to all Keizou, Chieko, Asuka, and Takako… ^^;;

Yours truly, Hidoko.

Mail me--
http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk
Coming up next: Coupling With II