hidoko Matsumoto

Wednesday, November 24, 1999 2:14:14 PM
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Author's Notes: Happy birthday, Yukihiro~ I love you!!

Warnings: Eeto….. Yaoi ^^;…..

Starring: The birthday boy! ^^ and Ken
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Eleven o'clock in the night. There was a lazy feeling sweeping around the whole of him, but he could not sleep, so he lay there paralyzed as the light of the moon shone down on him, as if he was a jewel embedded in the beauty of the cast…

He doesn't hate everyone… But everyone had ignored him… It didn't matter, so much to him anymore… Now that he was alone, he lay there… Wishing for someone to grace the empty side beside him in the comfort of the large mattress.

Twelve o'clock… He closed his eyes. Birthday eve… He looked out to the sky, wishing he could see the beautiful stars in the city which he had lived in, Tokyo. He had so missed the starry skies which he had seen when he went to the countryside, it was almost as if he was floating in the cosmos, all alone, where nothing existed but existence itself…

One o'clock, he drifted off to a deep sleep.

***

Early morning, he had woken up, for work… Not so bad, not anymore. His band mates had not forgotten about his birthday, and they had wanted to celebrate it after work, like last year. Yet, for some unknown reason, he was more depressed than he was last year on that particular day, so he had went home early.

So there he lay again, it was eight o'clock. He was not asleep, just thinking, wondering why everyone had forgotten about him…. Maybe he was just self-deluded, he knew he had friends, and that his friends cared, but— Even though everyone believed that he fitted in, even though he had no reason to think that he did not fit in, he had been so happy with his band mates, but… But…

For then, he did not believe that he had mattered at all.

Half an hour later, Ken called. The phone had rang continuously, no matter how he ignored it, so he went to pick it up. Ken's voice came clearly into his head. He could not help but smile, his voice had cheered him up so much. Both of them were as fun-loving, but he himself was deeper in thoughts than his fellow band mate.

"What's wrong, Yuki-chan?" Ken had asked, but he did not tell him anything. Then Ken told him that he was going over.

Nine o'clock, Ken arrived. He had prepared some hot water, since he was out of it after eating a cup of instant noodles.

"Hi," Ken greeted him.

Yukihiro muttered his response, after swallowing a mouthful of noodles with soup. It tasted so much better when eaten with the soup.

"You're eating this?" Ken exclaimed, grabbing the cup away from him as he had prepared to reach down for a second mouthful.

"So?" He retorted, and snatched it back like an annoyed kid. Ken burst into laughter at his expression, and he laughed, too.

"I brought you a huge cake," Ken lifted the box which he had with him, and set it down onto the table. "I was thinking of asking Hyde and Tetsu, but…"

"No, I don’t want any cake," Yukihiro muttered, suddenly glum again. He put his cup noodles aside. They were getting cold.

"Okay, but it's chocolate cake. Are you sure you don't want it?" Ken playfully asked, and Yukihiro could not help but smile at that. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong…" Yukihiro was unsure about telling Ken his thoughts. He knew it would be regarded as silly anyway. He would just tell me to think on a happier scale, and that I fitted in well…. But…. They don't understand how I feel… I'm sure he doesn't…

Ken shrugged. He took the knife which came along with the cake, opened the box, and set the knife aside again. The cake was beautifully decorated, Yukihiro could see, and he wondered why Ken had done this for him. "Don't just sit there, baka, help me with the candles. You have a lighter?"

"I thought you would have it with you, since you smoke so much you should permanently graft a cigarette to your lips," He remarked. Ken made a face. Yukihiro laughed, and went about looking for his, which lay somewhere in his room. When he found it, Ken had finished setting up the candles. There was three long ones, and two short ones, carefully arranged in a circle. He smiled to himself at that, Ken could actually devote his attention to something other than music, he was usually the most impatient one.

"You slow coach." Yukihiro immediately took back his earlier thoughts. Definitely not patient. But he smiled at that, he knew Ken was only joking, and he watched as the other guy lighted the candles. The flames flickered, then burned steadily. Both of them watched the flames for a little while, then Ken started singing 'happy birthday'. Yukihiro could not help but blushed a little, and smiled, he was finally the center of attention, even if it were the two of them only… "Here, make a wish before you blow them out, okay?"

So he made a silent wish and blew the candles out.

"What was your wish?" Ken persisted.

Yukihiro refused to tell him, and Ken threatened to throw the cake at him. They ended up eating half of the cake, and stuffing half of the rest into the refrigerator.

"You know, if Hyde were here, we could have easily finished it," Ken told him, and he laughed at that.

Ten thirty, they had finished watching a video tape and Ken was ready to go. So Yukihiro got ready to see him off, and much to his surprise, Ken hugged him with all his might.

"I don't want to leave," He had whispered.

At first, Yukihiro did not understand what he had meant, but, it got clearer, as they stood there.

***

Eleven o'clock in the night, he watched Ken's sleeping features. He was tired, but he did not want to sleep, for fear that the ghostly apparition would vanish before him. The light shone down on the two of them, as he just lay there, watching…

He was not alone anymore.

Twelve o'clock, he drifted off into a shallow sleep.

One o'clock, he woke up again, and watched as Ken slept some more. Ken's eyes fluttered open, and for a moment, he saw the stars which he had yearned to see in them, he knew what he had always looked for, and why he was so lonely before…

Ken's presence there was an assurance to him. The other man smiled as he looked at him, both of them bathed in the moonlight, both of their existence sole and only in that moment, in a cradle in the middle of a large universe.
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~Owari~

10:58:38 PM Wednesday, November 24, 1999

Yay!! Happy birthday Yukki-chan~~ ^^ Whee!!! I love you, Yukki~!!!

http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk