Xz0ner

Monday, June 14, 1999, 11:51:48 PM
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Warnings: NO Yaoi, NO Lemon, and you should read this if you read the S.I.N. series. Some sort of flashback thingy, but it won't fit nicely and beautifully in the main fic Coupling With. If you took note of Coupling With, you should know what's happening, and why Hyde said what he did.
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It was not exactly late, but he did not want to miss some baseball show on television. He was walking Hyde home, the fading sunset dying everything and everyone red. It was one of those sunsets which he loved most, one of those painful sunsets which he used to enjoy. He still did, however, yet nothing was the same.

"I… I hope you're not mistaken… I really don't have that kind of 'want' for him… I know, maybe I'm abnormal, but…" Hyde seemed slightly flustered by the fact. :.Hyde cares about the slightest things,.: Ken thought, knowing exactly how cute Hyde was and knowing exactly how girls were turning to look at him.

"You really love Tetsu," Ken remarked, laughing. "It is indeed abnormal, but it's something I can never really know."

Hyde looked up at the sadness in Ken's voice, his eyes seeming to search for something deep within Ken. "……Why?"

Ken put his arm around Hyde's small (and sexy) shoulders, a warm gesture between friends. "Because, we're different people, Hyde!"

Hyde laughed softly, and Ken withdrew his arm. The sunset was fading, into the dark depths of night. :.Soon, it will be day again,.: Ken thought idly, taking out a cigarette. He lit it and took a long drag at it, closing his eyes for a brief moment, as an image of a girl flashed across his mind. 'Ken!' She was calling, in that adorable voice of hers. Not whiny, not sharp, just normal, yet so adorable.

He tried not to remember, but memories came rushing straight at him, and he let them come in acceptance.

Her smile was the first thing that grabbed him, took his heart away into the high heavens. He was sitting alone, in that café, drinking his tea when she came and asked him what he wanted. They began talking, and within a minute, Ken had her number. He called her, and they started dating. At first, Ken was not truly serious. He just thought that he would have someone to pass his time with, and besides, having a girlfriend meant that he would be 'chic' in an all boys school.

But days went by. They passed the time doing whatever they wanted, and Ken was spending more and more time with her. Not that he minded.

Months passed by. Seven months of happiness, seven months of company. She loved nature, so they spent most of their time outdoors. While she was looking at the scenery, he was looking at her. Conflicts about nature rose, but were soon brushed off. She loved him, she said. He always said that he liked her, without even pausing to think about whether he meant it (consciously).

She said that his feelings meant everything to her, so she did not want him to say anymore about disliking things she liked. She tried her very best to show him what was good in what she liked, so that he could like them as well, like she did. But truly, it was useless; though he saw beauty in some things after 'enlightenment', he only saw ugliness in the others.

One day, he found out that she had to move away to New York. Father's business, and stuff. It was, indeed, a long way away, and he could never afford a ticket to go that far. It was then that he realized, how much he needed her, and how he had been treating her like just an ornament with a zero tolerance.

So, he took her out one last time. He did whatever he could to make her happy. He took her out to the park, the nature reserves, and even offered to camp out with her. But she was going off at midnight, so it would not matter. But she said, she wanted to enjoy her last sunset in Japan with him. And so, they watched it from the park. There they sat, on a bench, the trees forming a canopy above their heads, the field running vast enough so that no trees blocked the sun. It was her favorite place.

So, there they sat, under the shadow, on the bench. Ken had never felt such a feeling before, as he came to realize it, what was love. He always told her that he 'liked' her. But he never once did say that he loved her. The sun came down. It was a blessed sunset, one which was red, and flooded the sky with its color, the color of roses. She had always liked red roses.

On impulse, he looked down at her. She was sad, as sad as he was. But he was hiding it in his heart, hiding it from his face. He could see those tears looming in her eyes, and how much he wanted to comfort her, and lessen her pain. But he could not. She turned, from the sunset, and looked into him. Those brown orbs opened his heart.

"I love you." He had finally managed to say it. It was hard to say, now that he was meaning it. She nodded, saying that she loved him too, and they kissed. It was his first kiss, right then and there, a kiss under the beautiful sunset, with both of their hearts on fire.

She flew to New York that night. Ken missed her terribly, and overseas phone bills were always too expensive for an average family. At first, she sent him many letters. Soon, they disappeared, even though he kept writing. One day, he received a letter from her. He was as happy as anyone could get. His thoughts about her had never stopped flowing…

Then he read the letter.

"For Ken.

Please stop sending me your letters. I don't want to read them, not when I don't feel anything for you, now. I feel guilty. Do you really want to know how I am doing?

If so, then… I really enjoy it here. I've found someone, who is truly for me. Someone, who understands my liking for nature. He is a lot unlike you, he is shy, but he is fun to be with. We do many things together that you and I have never done before.

I really am sorry, but please find yourself someone else. Maybe then, you will write me a letter, telling of how happy you are, not how much you miss me. You can't just dwell in the past, Ken. Find yourself a present. Like I did, you see.

Till soon, Mieko."

He could almost hear her gentle voice, as he read it. He cried, and hidden it deep in his heart, but his friends were sharp enough anyway. His best friend, Hyde, had visited him everyday and made sure that he ate and slept everyday instead of spending his time crying in the room.

He could never find himself a 'present', for his present was intertwined with the past. He never wrote her about his love again, but he did write something about his friends, and how wonderful it was to be alive. Even though what he wrote was true, he did not write about the whole truth of his life. She did reply, but he did not read it. He was not sure if he wanted to, anyway, but he kept it, just like the hidden place in his heart.

Love would fade with distance. At least for her…

"I tell you, Hyde…" Ken smiled, not slowing down once, as they strolled along the pathway, "Treasure Tetsu while you can."

Hyde looked up at him, knowing exactly what Ken was thinking of. And Ken wanted the best for Hyde. He did not want Hyde to go through what he did, he did not want Hyde learn the importance of something only after he lost it. And if Tetsu was the one for Hyde, so be it, he wished the best for him.

Hyde nodded, closing his eyes for a brief minute, as the wind passed by them. Under the darkened sky, Hyde's face seemed almost angelic. :.He's really an angel… He deserves much better than what I did….:

Ken laughed softly, knowing full well that Hyde would not go through what he did…

"What are you laughing at?" Hyde asked, one of those what-the-fuck-are-you-doing look for his face.

"Nothing…" Ken muttered with yet another suppressed laugh. :.What was I thinking? Hyde'll never go through what I did….:

:.But, I want to make sure that he knows what he is missing out on… Pain, and lots of it. After all--.:

He did not complete his thought, as her face flashed across his mind again, drawing pain.

:.'Present' does not exist for me..:
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~Owari~

Author's notes!!!

1:08:38 AM Tuesday, June 15, 1999

I know! I know! There's no lust in Ken's memory, but that's not the point I was trying to illustrate (it won't fit in beautifully … T-T)…. Anyway, Keanu already took that bacon ^ ^; (is that good? Or bad? Hehe… I'll be writing more bout it later in Coupled With)

You see, what I was trying to write about was someone who dwells in the past, and loves someone from the past. Not unable to love sort of thing (like Kiyoshi), but similar to Keanu's "I'll love on even if you don't love me". Only thing is, the pain of being FORGOTTEN is added in here. It hurts a lot when you're just forgotten. (trust me!) -- which was why Tetsu was wondering if he had hurt anyone by forgetting them… Etc. Damn, I'm running out of stamina…. =-=………. -_-~~zzzzzZZZz……

Have I turned these sequels into a love marathon? Haha! I mean, 'm trying to show all kinds of love here… And I know….. I'll try to show "crushes" next, serious crushes, that sort of thing… Because, at teenage, people mistake love for crushes and crushes for love (especially adults). But the point is, now that I've proven love can go a long way (take Ken for example), I need a balance to show just normal teenage stuff. That's necessary coz the skeptic would think that *these* are merely enlarged crushes. To me, this is *love*. It's different. But I know you turkeys won't like what I wrote, and might not even finish it.... Then why am I writing..???? .<

Etc… I'm tired… Cyu, tata, goodbye, have a nice day in America, have a nice NIGHT in Singapore et Japan et Malaysia et Australia and a nice day in Paris, France, Britain, etc….. *yawn*

Yours truly, Hidoko.

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http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk