Title: LHBW
Authors: Jara and hidoko
Emails: Jara (monalisassecret@yahoo.com), hidoko (hidoko@hotmail.com)
Archive: Yes, if you guys want to.
Mirror: Sure.
Comments: Ok this is the result of a conversation hido and I had when
the question "I wonder what hide is doing in Heaven right now?".
Genre: A bit of comedy.
Pairing: None
 
 

~~~

LHBW
 

While up in heaven a sultry southern accent is heard, "No hide wiggle
your hips like this. You have to get the wiggle right."

Hide looks sheepishly at Elvis, "Uh I don't think I could wiggle like
that. No way man"

Kurt Corbain, who was talking to Kami about his song's lyrics, simply
snickered as he was greeted by the funny (not too rare, unfortunately)
scene of their manager Elvis trying to show hide his famous wiggle.

Finally realizing that his protegee was not going to be able to perfect
his wiggle, he gave up, but not from the lack of hope (of producing
more "new talents", he was sure the space monkey punk could do it). "Um
we will try again later ok. For now you guys have to practice for
tonight's gig. Janis Joplin already paid up in advance and we can't let
her down."

"Don't worry with me on vocals, we are sure to be a hit." Kurt beamed.
Raising his eyebrows, hide protested, "Who decided you were gonna be
vocals? I wanna be vocal!"

Kurt looked exasperatedly at hide, "No no you be back up vocals and
lead guitar, I will be vocals."

"Hey you play guitar too, you be back up and I will be vocal." hide was
not about to let his 'solo position' be intimidated in even Heaven.

The argument went on like that. Back and forth, back and forth, back
and forth, until Kami cut in with a warm smile, telling them "You guys
can take turns being vocals." Not liking the solution too much, but
deciding it was fair enough, hide and Kurt stopped arguing. And the
fact that Kami was a nice person helped with it.

Elvis smiled, he knew he could count on Kami to quiet those two down.
He looked at his band and realized they needed a name for tonight's
billing.

"Guys gather around, gotta talk to you."

"Ok I want you to each tell me the first word that comes into your
head, ok"

Hide: "Lemoned!"
Kurt: "Heaven!"
Kami: "Butterfly wings"

Hide looked at Kami, giggling "He said one word Kami." Kami's face
fell.  Hide felt bad, "but two is good right?"

"Ok". Elvis scribbled down the words. "From now on your group's name
will be Lemoned Heaven Butterfly Wings."

They all looked at their manager. "Uh are you sure that doesn't sound
like much of a group name."

Elvis, "well it worked for 'The Michelle Gun Elephant'."

"But.. .I was only kidding!" hide turned to Elvis with his eyes wide in
shock.
"You believed me?!"

"Anyhow, this is a nice name... Uh... ^^;" Kami said, an awkward smile
on his face. "It saves you two quarreling, too!"

hide and Kurt shrugged, while Elvis wondered if he could write an
encyclopedia on hide's B.S's. It would be a great hit, too.

Angels all over Heaven were excited as they read the little winged
fliers scattered around them. (One little winged flyer being a
spherical glow, which when punched will release a cloud with words on
them. It's not often the angels get these on the market, so they love
it lots--> and you might have guessed hide came up with the idea ;-p )
 
 

"Concert tonite!!!!!!!!!!!
7pm. at the Blue Halo
Elvis Inc. presents for the first time on stage
Lemoned Heaven Butterfly Wings
Presenting songs:
Blue Wings are Good For You
Lemoned halos
'papillon'

byow.. bring your own wings..."
 
 

"This is sure going to be a greater hit than Laruku's concert!" (hide
was referring to the one where Haido wore the angel's wings)

Kami smiled as he looked into the mirror, having fond reminiscence of
Malice Mizer's Merveilles concert.

Elvis poked his head into the living room, after returning from his
look-out from the stage. "Yes! Packed house tonite." He had seen
several celebrities, too.

John Lennon in the front row wearing a Hawiian shirt with neon blue
shorts, next to him was Albert Einstein wearing a t-shirt ("Kiss the
egghead" on it) with a  table of smiley faces, marked 'idiotic table'.
Elvis mused, "I wonder what they are chatting about."

"Music brings everyone together," hide murmured, casting a glance at
his pink Ernie Ball pick, winked at it, and plucked a set of clothes
from the closet.

In somewhat of a horrific expression, Kurt exclaimed, "No way hide you
are not wearing that!"

Looking down at his neon suit, "why the hell not, I wore this at my
last concert with Xjapan, besides it's my favorite."

"We should wear something... that doesn't seem like a prostitute."

Hide and Kurt started quarrelling about what to wear again.

One wanted outrageous (beauty, hide might add) and the other wanted
comfort. They both turned to Kami for a solution.

Kami sat there smiling. "Wear what makes you feel good. I'm gonna wear
my butterfly wings tonite." Instantly a pair of beautiful glimmering
blue wings appeared behind him. Tints of yellow and greens shimmered
when they moved. Hide grinned and Kurt just smiled. No one argued with
his decision.

~~~

As the last strains of song danced around the club, a deafening silence
ensued. Then laughter, clapping, cheering and yelling was heard. "More!
We want more!"

The members came out each with their own gifts for the audience.

hide blew bubbles and handed out yoghurt (which, as a practical joke,
is under the name Yo-kurt.. .Don't ask how that came about....).
Kami handed out little perfume bottles in shape of butterflies.
Kurt handed out rosary beads with the initials LHBW carved onto them.

Kami wanted to put a cross with the rosary necklaces, but Kurt decided
that inscription with kanji with words like peace, free, love, honesty
and truth carved into different beads would be better.

As they headed off the stage, in the front row a commotion was heard,
looking down the band members saw two men fighting for the rosary beads.

John Lennon : Mine!
Albert Einstein: No way Mine, I saw them first.
John Lennon: Not my fault you were slow.
Albert Einstein: um.. do you know the law of gravity?
John Lennon: Huh?
Albert Einstein: Yeah, everything falls down * punches John Lennon,
knocking him out, does a little jig when he sees he has the beads *
Told you, mine.

"This should call for a celebration!" hide promptly flung himself onto
the sofa of the resting room. Then, to the grinning Elvis, "Can we have
a bed in here? For sleeping?"

"Hentai!" Kami whapped him playfully, and hide stuck his tongue out at
him.

Kurt and Elvis eyed each other, murmuring to themselves, "This must be
a Japanese joke..."

"So, celebration?"

Kurt smiled and turned. "I'm going to check on Courtney to see how
she's doing."

"Oooh.... Kurt's soft spot..."

"Shut up." hide ducked Kurt's whack.

"What about you Kami, you celebrating?"

"No, I'm just going to rest," Kami teased.

"Butbut...a gig just isn't like a gig without celebration!" hide
wailed, flinging his limbs. "It's bad enough there's no alcohol in
heaven, now.. .T__T" (hehe... .. worse than hell?)

"Okay, but I decide where to go and what to do," Elvis started.

"Yay!...uh, what are we supposed to do..?"

"Hee, hee, hee...."

"That's it hide! You can do it better than anyone else! Yes! That's it!"
"It's fun once you've caught the technique!" ^___^ hide wore a big grin
on his face.

"Kurt, you're too stiff, and Kami.. .."

"I just wanna go see Courtney..."

"No, no, this is the way you do the wiggle!" hide grinned, teaching
Kami the Elvis wiggle.

And so, it turns out that there's one more 'Elvis-wiggler' in Heaven to
spread the 'Elvis wiggle'.

*Owari*

http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk