Monday, December 01, 1997

Hidoko

I observe as Kurama run about picking up flowers, and for a moment it hit me that he was acting very much like a girl in love. I actually don’t know whom he was in love with, and I keep telling myself that I do not care. But it keep bugging me, and I can not stop thinking about it.

Somehow, I am quite fearful of him, I admit in my heart, and since my childhood I have been thinking about him...

The makai night was dawning, and I slowly made my way home, fearful that my stepfather would use the punishment that I dread most...

As I walk, I keep thinking about the dreams I had been having for a few nights in a row. I keep dreaming of a silver rose glowing with a wierd light, and just yesterday the dream changed.

Some petals of the rose the rose was red instead, and in the middle was a half-golden half-green petal. I had always been dreaming of how my father tortured me, and then this rose pricked me damn lots of times. I had cursed it, and was probably afraid of it—but I tried again, and soon it was plucked off. And then, I woke up, only to find that it was a dream. I had slept again, and I dreamt of all the things that had happened to me—being dumped into the river, being picked up by this wicked stepfather who punish easily, with the worst tatics that I dread most, and his punishments. Then, at the end of it, right before I wake up smiling like an idiot, I saw the rose which I plucked. Its glow was stronger, and in the darkness of my dream its brilliance was blinding. Its presence healed my wounds, my heart wounds, and I felt such strange adoration for the wierd rose. Why did I feel such strange feelings because of such a wierd object?

I walk through the forests, and suddenly feel another youki. I felt the presence which I had felt in my dream, and I wondered if it was my illusion. Finally, just before the youkai came in, I manage to get out of my daze and leap onto a treetop, hiding my youki.

It was a silver haired youko, and I immediately thought of the legend that talked about the silver haired youko with death in his eyes. I wonder if I will ever become like him, and the thought was suddenly interrupted by memories of my dream, and it came so suddenly that I fell off the tree. The youko turned, and I saw, as his silver hair flows towards me, because of the wind, the golden eyes speaking of surprise, yet guarded by a sheen of intelligent and calmness. He asked, "Who are you?"

And it was then that I realise that he wasn’t about to kill me. When you want to kill, what’s the use of asking about the name if you are about to kill the person? "I don’t have..."

"Your youki isn’t what I had expected for a famous killer like you."

"Are... You going to kill me...?"

"I have heard of the nameless Shadow killing tons of people." Kurama said, still not smiling.

"... ..." I said nothing, watching the beautiful silver fox walk towards me, the wind blowing against my back.

"Want me to give you a name?"

I wonder why he wanted to give me a name. "What is it...?"

"Hmm... Hiei?"

"Hiei..." I whispered it under my breath. "Hn. What makes you think that I’ll use it?"

"Nothing. But it just suits you." He walked away, and I could not stop him. In fact, I stood frozen at the spot...

I watch as he pick up the last rose, and holds the beautiful bunch out to me. I turn away, annoyed. "I’m not a girl."

"I’m not courting you." He replied, leaving me to stare at him in anger.

"You think I want you to court me?" I said, critically.

"Nah..." He said, taking the bundle in his hands, and slowly carressing a petal of a black rose. I think about the dream which I have had before I met him.

"I still can’t believe you kept the name I gave you, Hiei." Kurama smiles, his green emeralds gleaming in the bright sunlight. How did he know that I was thinking about that incident?

I snort. "I only kept it because it suits me."

He smiles, and my heart seems to flutter, and I am suddenly fearful. What was he doing? What was it that makes me care so much? What was it that lets butterflies be in my stomach?

"I have never expected..." He trailed off.

"Hn."

***The End***

Monday, December 01, 1997
http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk