When I woke up, there was nothing but a vast sadness waiting to engulf me.
In that dream, he looked exactly like an angel, donned in a long red jacket and a scottish skirt. He wore his usual platforms, which made him seem to tower over me. Once I told him I hated that feeling, but he simply laughed and said that I was a control freak.
My utmost inferiority, perhaps. It bothers me most of the time, but I just have to accept it. Sometimes I wonder if life goes more than height and my face, but it obviously doesn't - not for others.
Ultimately... I didn't care for the girls, because I didn't have any place in my heart for them. I just wanted something plastic and jenny-like. I didn't need them to find out that I loved someone else and kick up a fuss.

Once there was this girl who lived with me. She had been nice, beautiful, and accepting. Each day I talked to her about Tetsu, and she smiled to wish me happiness.
The presses found out about her. They mistook her to be mine. They reported stuff which were either false or which I never knew.
I don't think such a wonderful girl would ever love me anyway.
She left me, without a note. Then I was alone again, and that was when I didn't have the courage to face Tetsu.
Just think- she had been my only source of support. I almost couldn't live without her, because only she knew my deepest secrets and could still accept me.
So when I lost her, I lost everything.

The next person who got closest to her was Sakura.
The only difference had been, it was obvious in Sakura's eyes that he loved me. So I pretended all along that I didn't know, enjoying his presence like I would enjoy hers.
I watched as Tetsu's face clouded over, not understanding why, but I knew Tetsu didn't like Sakura anymore, ever since he drew closer to me. Which made it better, but confusing- it's like having your lover hate your friend.
Except that he's not my lover, and neither is Sakura exactly my friend- which makes it more complicated.
But it hadn't been so hard to break- because whoever was with me had been fated to be ruined. I don't know why- I feel like I bring bad luck everywhere I go- even L'Arc~en~Ciel. But we persevered and we had a happy ending. At least now. We don't know the future, and honestly I don't want to think about it quite so much.
So many things annoy me nowadays.
People, fab, shows.
Everything basically.
We did almost everything together, the four of us. Yoyo, skating, etc. We were so close I thought we would merge, because they're so deep in my life that I can't possibly pry them away with a dagger if I wanted to. I didn't have to think about Tetsu, but I knew that I loved him all the same; love never needed a meaning, which explained why I always feel loneliness hit me at a great measure even when I'm in the midst of having fun.
It's cumbersome, more than anything else- I'm used to the pain.

Anyway, the dream was about him...
You'd know. anyway.
In that dream, I was a fairy. Butterflies surrounded me and clustered close to me, and I flew unwittingly towards a dark castle outside of the faerie land.
In that castle, a raven caught me by the collar. A voice, which echoed in my mind more than in my ear, rang out, "Take her to me."
And I was lifted off. I couldn't see anything but red, because I was upside-down and blood was rushing to my head.
It seemed I was a girl in the dream. I don't really remember, because I was just me.
So I was carried to the Prince of Dreams, a magnificent figure clad in white, his skin so pale and ashen. There was a glinting innocence in his eyes, with a bout of wisdom, and I had a feeling that in this life- If I didn't have that dream, I would be one of them who didn't know anything.
He smiled at me, welcoming me, and I stared up at him in awe.
"Mitsumi," he told me. I had no idea what he was saying; perhaps he was calling my name.
Then I was in a whirlpool, which he had led me into, and the raven (the King of Dreams called him Matthew) flew in front of me when we emerged, in the bright sky.
I asked where we were going, and the raven replied with a simple grin, "To the east of Eden."
"Eden?...?" I hadnt a single idea, it seemed.
"The king of dreams, he summoned you from the Waking world till here. Your destiny is there."
"Oh.... so...I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
He didn't look at me; I guess he didnt want to be too social. "You're all dreamers when you're here...."
We landed on the platform right inside the huge sword. It looked like an Egyptian ruin, except that it was colored with bluish tints, and all the plants had enhanced color as if it had gone through photography techniques.
Then I saw with a note, that there was a serpent chained to the tree, looking pitiful with its bleeding limbs.
"Help me," it said, so I complied.
But the moment I touched it, I felt my life leaving me, and I fell down. A beautiful angel formed in front of me, embracing me, before I hit the ground. He was the most beautiful being whom I've ever seen, even more so than the King of Dreams...
And I think I loved him, but the only thing was that I was dead.

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