Xz0ner

Tuesday, December 07, 1999 11:49:06 PM
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Warnings: none

Starring: Yukihiro

Author's notes: I've always wanted to write something like this…
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From the bottom of my heart, I've always wondered.

Many many things, of the world, about the essence of music and life, love, cosmos and death, all these…. They're imprinted on my soul somewhat, I don't get the idea of reality. Things seemed to have frozen into a state of reality. No, the rushing by of time has not stopped, it's just that reality seems the same, there's no change anymore, so even though there's the hustle and bustle of time, I would remain indifferent.

Recently, things have gotten more mundane. Each day, I wake up, to wonder about doing the things I do. But soon all these are forgotten as I trudge on, because the hustle and bustle of time chases me about.

Then, in the stillness of the night, I would have the urge to daydream. As I lay in my house, wishing that I was in the country, so that I could get closer to the cosmos, I would think about my life.

Recently, I've done many things. Reality requires, so I do it. And recently I've put all my soul into doing these things, I really tried my best. I did all the work dumped to me. Yes, I've told myself never to regret it, so I will not turn back. Time passes, and sometimes I wonder if all this work is fruitful. There's always people who question, people who doubt, people who blame, and people who ignore.

Yeah it is fruitful, looking at the materialistic scores. Recently there's some mental block in my head stopping me from writing the songs I want. I was always wondering if people actually listen at all, or people liked it just because it's L'Arc~en~Ciel they're hearing...

……Recently music has left me puzzled; things are weird. Recently I ate a bowl of instant noodles because I didn't have time to get some more.

………….Recently……..

A part of my life has been left blank. Does that void actually exist, or is it fake?

My love for music grew. Did I love it because it's me, or because it brings success?

I don't feel right at home. I don't understand other people's minds. I've learnt to focus on things while keeping my mind in a void……..

……..Recently, my questions have increased.

But I suppose nothing really matters now, because, illusion or reality, it'll all come to past. Nee, let's just go back to sleep.

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~Owari~

12:04:38 AM Wednesday, December 08, 1999

Comments please email me at

http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk