Xz0ner

Monday, April 19, 1999 11:34:42 PM

Special thanks: Joline (her name is NOT Jolene), for inspiring me.

OK, blame it on Joline for making me hear the song "Esther" by Kenny G while closing my eyes. I began to see Hyde and Yoshiki… So… And I also saw the sea… Well, music is incredible. It makes you see things when you are in the mood to… I had finished doing Maths tutorial with her (Thanks, Jo!) and was in a relaxed mood. So… ^ ^ Well, I don’t know if this would be good, but I made my point by writing.
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Hyde sat on the rocks, the wind sifting through his hair. It had grown longer since he last saw the sun, five years ago. Five years was such a long time which he had endured, yet it had seemed so much like hell. The never ending pattern of the waves fell backwards and forwards, crashing at the rocks, forming white foam as they slid back gently again, only to crash with a new energy. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the pain in his heart rise again like the waves.

Softly, sadly, he began to sing, his clear voice being lost in the wind.

Yoshiki's smile was shining in the darkness of his memory. Yet, with time, even it seemed to have dimmed so much… Only the pain had remained. Time could only wash away so much. In a second, tears began rolling down his cheeks. He had not been crying for so long in his five torturous years, being in juvenile hall. As a free man he was able to cry again, without anyone being there to make fun of his pain and suffering.

Finally, the song ended, its notes lingering for a moment through the memory of the mind. Only to be overtaken by the sound of the waves. He got up and took a stroll along the beach, and finally was able to come up with the happy memories. In those five years, those memories only meant pain to him. How he survived, he did not know, but did not care. Surviving only meant more pain.

Now, Yoshiki's smile lingered in his heart, as he continued his way, towards the direction of the sun. It was setting. He decided to sit down, after covering some distance. His tears had dried and stopped; he only wondered if the bleeding wound in his heart had recovered. Or would it be reopened again, when he found some more time to think? When he finally had a chance to have free thoughts, and would be able to cry whenever he wished? He wished he knew. Yet nothing was new to him, not anymore.

Time had numbed him starting straight from the beginning. Tears meant nothing more as they dropped by, falling on a blind angels' wrath.

He went back to the café which he found five years ago, where Yoshiki had found him and freed him of his chains. He only wished that there will be some other person, there, ready to free him again.

The place obviously underwent recent renovations. Everything had changed, changed so much that he no longer could follow the flow of time. The cheery waiter with pink hair no longer greeted him; it was a young boy, with puffy hair. Silently, he sat down in the seat where Yoshiki had discovered him, and ordered a cheesecake, with iced coffee, without even looking at the menu. Through the glass window, he could see that it was a gorgeous night out there.

His thoughts were filled with Yoshiki, as a older man suddenly came in. He still had the pink hair; Hyde recognized him instantly. Yet he could no longer recognize Hyde. In his eyes were a slim young man who had been quite hardened by society. Hyde did not call out, as he watched Hide passed him by, greeting Yukiya, the pretty boy. It turned out, from what Hyde could hear of their conversation, that Hide had become the boss of the small food joint.

Hyde stood up, and began to walk towards the door.

"……Hyde…?" Hide finally breathed out. He had thought the young man was familiar, but the resemblance was simply uncanny.

He turned around."…Long time no see."

"How have you… Been?" Hide knew that Yoshiki was gone. Everyone knew it. But no one knew that Hyde had killed him with his own hands.

"Fine…" Was the short reply.

Hide sighed, and motioned for him to sit down. They sat down, and Hide asked him a few questions. Soon, it was decided that Hyde was to live with Hide, since Hyde belonged nowhere now that he was an adult. From Hide's voice, Hyde could tell that he had a special feeling for Yoshiki, too. But he kept silent on the matter.

Hyde moved in with Hide. They lived like brothers would have, occasionally with a certain awkwardness between both of them.

Hide wanted Hyde to bring him over to the place where Yoshiki had died. Hyde, feeling somehow as if he had owed Hide a debt, was obliged to bring him there. The place where Hyde had blown up had became a small artificial lake, property of Yoshiki's mother. Hyde had no trouble sneaking in as long as he lay low in Hide's car as he drove by. Yoshiki's mother was happy to see Hide, but she made it clear that if it was Hyde, it would have been otherwise. She knew somehow that the man had to do with her son's death.

Both of them spent a good day, if not a fine mourning day for Yoshiki's departure. Hide wanted to stay there, while Hyde went home alone. It was the last time that Hyde had seen Hide. One fine day, as he was working in his office somewhere in Los Angeles, he received a call.

Hide, his friend, had a heart attack while swimming in the lake and died. Hyde knew everyone had to pass by him. If Yoshiki was there, he would have gotten a lecture on how to be strong.

It seemed to be a never ending tragedy.

A few days later, he went to the seaside again. He finally had time to remember Yoshiki again. Yet, this time, the memories were happy, not painful anymore. He closed his eyes, as he walked deeper and deeper into the sea, in his eyes a faraway and longing look, as if he was finally going to find his lover after a long parting.

"Shadows and Darkness envelops me.
I could see nothing.
I close my eyes to feel pain in my heart,
The pain that was so alive.

It was devouring me.
As I turned,
I saw the faint
glow of the memory.
I reached out for the light,
Hoping to feel
The past warmth.
I tried to contemplate
But was trapped within truth and lies.

I saw through the world.

I tried to escape from the world,
But got trapped in the cage of time.
I could not find my dreams.
As I gazed out of reality,
My heart bled tears.
I watched the clouds pass by in the sky.

I could not remember what brought about the happiness.

I held a rose in my hand,
Till I was bleeding.
I savored the taste of the pain,
For nothing is much
Compared to this labyrinth.
The red rose of sacrificing drew me near;
And I tried to remember my last dream.

I never forgot the pain of the two.

I held on to the illusion
Of the Blue Rose of the impossible.
It faded slowly;
And I cried out,
Feeling my world collapse.
I could not see
Further than the pool
Of blood which was
My Eternal Bed.

I see the secrets,
But am unable to fathom.
With a heart of truth
I stabbed the clouds in the sky.
They began to glow in a light.

I wanted to see the Blue Rose again,
But it never appeared...

Tears dye the night red,
As I watched
His shadow among the roses.

I made a silent pact
Between me and the Soul
Of Death and Destruction.

I crossed my heart
With the sword of Golden fire;
It burned with a force I never knew.

I yearned for that shadow;
Day and Night I searched among the roses.
The shadow was merely a Blue Rose.
I saw it now;
It was a sword waiting to strike me.
Five swords impale my body;
The sixth sword hangs ready to strike.

My pool of blood dyes the dream red.

The wings of Shadows and Darkness envelop me;
And for a last time I saw the Blue Rose.
Pain once again tear my heart.

It was the Last Defeat. "
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Author's notes:

Wah! Finished! Wah! I let Hyde die… At first I didn’t want him to die… I love him too much ^^……. But….. but….. I see no other way to end this f**king epilogue… *sigh* remind me to kill Joline when I see her next! Okay, personally, I don’t like this epilogue. Why? I don’t like the touching description at the beginning and the fast ending. So… wuwuwu… wah!

Thursday, April 22, 1999 11:11:57 PM

Xz0ner

http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk