Marilyn Chua

Today on the bus I witnessed a strange phenomenon. I hardly noticed people, since Singaporeans to me tend to be about as interesting as a acne, but that guy was sitting beside me and moving a lot so it was hard to miss him.

I saw an old man, maybe older than my dad and half-senile. He was apparently as fascinated by his Ezlink card as a monkey by a banana. Which scared the hell out of me, but I tried not to look at him. As soon as I saw that the space beside my dad was empty, I quickly scooted over.

At the bus interchange I saw him strut towards the exit, apparently as proud of himself as a monkey with hundreds of bananas. I wondered which sane man on earth would act like that, with the exception of alcoholics, but deemed him quite harmless due to the fact that he wasn't a walking Mr Hyde.

Nonetheless, it did petrify me a lot. He reminded me of my own sanity, or lack thereof, given that I'd almost scratched the hell out of my group members in PW. That experience petrified me more than anorexic people and people who hallucinated that they were monkeys.

Well, actually, what happened during PW was this: I suddenly feeling strange when my group members were discussing stuff. It was like the world was disconnected from me, and no I have not taken hallucinogens in my entire 17 years of life.

Any insane person who thinks that he is sane would therefore, to avoid being insane, find excuses for his behaviour. I attribute it to both stress and PW. Although the attribution stress says more about MOE than PW, my butt would not like to be sued bankrupt, and so I shall digress and attribute it to stress itself.

Now, stress is an amiable excuse for any insanity in the whole wide world. Jack the Ripper the Second mass murdered his teachers? Must have been stress from school. Downey Junior the Second abused drugs? Must have been stress from peers. Marilyn Monroe the Second attempted suicide? Must have been stress from… From… Er, the banana trees downstairs. So much stress in this entire world to blame, and nothing sane is being done officially to rectify it—does the government really expect people who are stressed out to watch TV commercials that are supposed to help them deal with stress? Says much more about the sanity of this country than stress itself.

Of course, the sanity of this country is subjective to one thing: The government, or what is often known as the Gahmen Tribe. CPF is sane. Capitalism is sane. Socialism is not. Getting one over the next guy in the head is sane. Donating to kidney foundations out of sheer pity for TCS artistes is sane. Social welfare is not. Medical fees are expensive in terms of the lower class's income percentage and so are housing costs. The Tribe subsidises medical fees after raising the price sky-high. And, they still charge you GST. So, we have to pay service tax for medical subsidies, or what? My dad said he would rather undergo euthanasia than incur obscenely huge medical bills. My sentiments exactly, but the irony lies in the fact that euthanasia is illegal but gigantic medical bills are not.

Damn.

And then there's the age limit. It explains quite a few things about the country. You can legally have sex after 16; smoke and drink and drive after 18, but you can't watch arty farty movies until you're 21. It makes so much sense, too, especially since even R(A) movies have been censored.

So much benefits of being a citizen. That is almost as wacky as George Bush and the Florida revote. And is definitely as sane as that.

The middle-and-above class might think otherwise, given that they have proper jobs, proper incomes and proper houses and of course less income tax (thanks to the 2% raise in GST, hah). And as far as educated people go, repression is needed to maintain order. The bourgeoisie, the aristocrats and the discipline department here obviously fit into the repressive, image-conscious Victorian era.

Excuses must be made. Given that these excuses are made for stress-givers, it can't possibly include stress itself. In local box office hit I Not Stupid directed by Jack Neo, avocation is being given in the name of "for the good of me". Here, even controversy implies advocating the Tribe to avoid getting film cuts and lawyer's letters.

Can anything be done about the sanity of this country, or rather, the lack thereof? Well, the bourgeoisie are happier getting HDB upgrading projects, lower income tax and higher local consumer tax (as they drive to JB and spend most of their income there anyway), and the bourgeoisie make up a good part of the electorate. Meanwhile, the people of the lower end are too busy striving hard to earn their living to notice the elections.

And if you ask anyone, they'd give you a blank stare: why would anyone want to do anything about it, except for occasional bitching and criticism that every government needs to endure? I mean, that's what newspaper forum and senile educated elite who has nothing to do but write complaint letters is for, right?

One thing is for sure: This country is not united by its sanity. As seen often in MRT stations and on buses, majority of the country is united against a few things: manners, the keep-left rule and giving seats to the needy. It is united by a few things: trampling over other commuters, seats for themselves so long as others don't get it, male chauvinism, blocking others' way to work, agitating other commuters, loud decibels of chatting, and the list goes on.

Most of them feel strongly about this, especially after a few Hooch and Limonya bottles to curb their stress. And as we all know, despite curbing stress and liberating consciousness, alcohol does little to contribute to the sanity of the country. If one by one the people give the Gahmen Tribe a piece of their minds all that would result in is the country having, well, a horrible hangover.

That and higher alcohol taxation.

Also, if that ever happens, I can almost assure you that the next time you go to a Seven Eleven, the attendant would ask for your IC and refuse to sell even pathetic 5% alcohol contents unless you're a Senior Citizen. Maybe to reinforce the sanity of the country, who knows, there would even be a $1000 fine for drinking Jolly Shandy at all.

After all, the logic of the country works like this: there must be more things to blame than the Gahmen Tribe's policies. Stress, alcohol, R(A) movies, ankle socks, blah blah blah. Only non-beneficial social benefits, higher consumer taxation and ridiculous age limits can curb that. And if that doesn't work, well, there are always HDB upgrading projects to threaten people with.

Tuesday, 23 April 2002 1:35:56 AM