Hidoko
Saturday, January 17, 199811:09:44 PM
Hiei stood on the building aimlessly. Kurama looked up at him. No words, no nothing. Silence was all that they had, and at that time silence was deadly. Kurama smoothed his hair, his blood red hair that was flowing out of control with the wind.
Light streamed down from above, making everything else seem so dim.
Hiei was gone.
Disappeared. Forever.
Kurama dropped onto his knees, shaking.
Tears rolled down uncontrollably, blown away from his face by the wind.
***
It had been two weeks. The loneliness was deadly, and totally a torture. He could still remember the times that they had, all so fun. There was nothing he could do, nothing he would do. Every night he would dream of Hiei, and every morning, when the sun was just peeking over the horizon, he would break down and cry.
It all hurt so much.
***
Hiei was from another world. He had seen this book. This colorfully illustrated book. He had bought the book, and read it thoroughly. He grew to like the second main character, who was called Hiei. Hiei was a caring soul who never showed how he really felt. Hiei was bitter, but Kurama saw sorrow as a beauty. He had enough of it, but he still treasured the feeling. There was no reason.
He would occasionally see Hiei occupy some place in the illustrated pages. He always looked lifelike, and whenever he stared into the big ruby eyes he would simply melt.
But there was nothing like Hiei's presence.
Whenever he told his friends that Hiei was far better than the main character, who coincidentally looked like Kurama, everything would end up a argument. After all, the main character was perfect. As his friends would say, just like Kurama.
But Kurama started to grow more and more in love, and one stormy night he opened the book and began to read. He prayed, for an infinity times that Hiei could come out of the book and be with him forever.
God listened to the weirdest prayers.
Somehow, he fell asleep on the book.
The next day, he discovered himself on the bed. The book was on the table, but closed. As he ventured towards the kitchen to make himself some breakfast, he was shocked. Breakfast was ready on the table. He could only gape. Nobody could—and would—have gotten into his hostel. He was living alone and his parents would not have given a damn to what he did so long as he got good grades. He looked around, but saw nobody. He only thought he heard fluttering of wings and a rustle of leaves outside. He looked out—and thought he saw a black shadow. Moving so fast that it was less than a blur. Hiei…?
Couldn't be… He smiled to himself though. Though there was no logical answer, he felt happy. The food did not taste that great, but he did not care. He was just happy.
***
"Please—I like you!" the cute blonde was red. Normally Kurama would say alright when people proposed to him, which was often, but this time he reconsidered.
"Sorry…" He smiled. "I have someone."
The blonde's face turned dark and she ran away.
He settled down in his seat and sighed, looking outside the window. Would his Flying Shadow like him? He wondered. Yet whenever he saw the minor things being done for him, he would smile and feel content.
***
The rumor that Kurama had a girlfriend would make his reputation go down the tube. Most people knew that he never went with the same girls for one week, but now he was said to have only one girlfriend and it was for a month. That would have been long by Kurama's standards. Every morning Kurama's books were ready for him in the classroom, under the table, even before Kurama came in. They suggested catching Kurama's girlfriend and see how she looked like, but Kurama heard that and said that he would wring their necks if she complained to him about that.
But Kurama was getting tired, too. He wanted to talk to his girlfriend, face to face, about anything. But she would never appear, and Kurama wondered if his life would be as the book's contents.
So, one day, he decided to go to school early and catch her in action.
***
It was time. Kurama woke up the usual—six thirty. He brushed his teeth, as usual, the toothpaste already was on the toothbrush. He went out to sit by his breakfast and pretended to eat. He heard fluttering of wings and a rustle of leaves, and knew that it was time to head to his classroom.
***
Actually, he got the idea from the book. It seemed to have been written for him.
He caught the glimpse of a short figure entering the classroom—through the window. The wings folded and disappeared. She put her hands together, as if praying, and a glow radiated from his hands. And it was then that Kurama knew that she was actually a he. In fact, with blood red eyes and spiky black hair which looked sort of soft and save for a zig zaggy streak of white, he looked exactly like the Hiei in his book. Kurama practically fainted and yelled, "Hiei…!"
Hiei turned, and froze. "Kurama…?"
It was then that Kurama felt as if his dream had come true. Or perhaps he had been dreaming since that stormy night he slept. But it was all so great—he would not want to wake up if it was a dream. Before Hiei could flee from the window, Kurama rushed forward to grab his wrist.
"You… you are real?"
Hiei snorted. "Why else are you grasping me?"
"Sounds like poetry." Kurama smiled to himself. Hiei snorted again. "Why do you have wings?"
"I'm an angel, baka."
"Angels aren't supposed to curse."
"Let's just say I have the permit."
So Kurama brought Hiei an oversized uniform and Hiei wore it.
Soon, the classes had a new student—Kurama's cousin, who was always seen with Kurama. There were rumors about Kurama and Hiei, but Kurama did not care. It could not be said the same for Hiei. Hiei was a kind hearted soul who loved Kurama the night he was sent to Kurama's side. He did not want to let Kurama be ruined because of him.
So he left.
***
That was not the end. Kurama missed Hiei very much and he skipped school every day and stayed in his hostel, wishing it was all a nightmare and that Hiei would come back. Hiei had not even left a note to tell of his departure. Yet he felt Hiei was somewhere near, but when he called out to him, he would get no answer. He decided that it was all fat hope, so he went away, out of his school compound, got a motorcycle and raced with other cyclists. When Hiei saw that, his heart ached but he decided not to go back to Kurama's side. That bastard.
Kurama got booked god knows how many times. But he never stopped, till he was racing with the famous underground racists and winning. He was branded the greatest racer of all the northern underground societies. He was made to race with other top society racers—the southern, western, eastern, and central. Hiei never appeared in front of him and told him to stop, and occasionally, when he was alone, he would cry. Soon that important day, when he was doing one-to-one basis with the central society, came. Kurama's bike was sabotaged and Kurama crashed off hill. Hiei managed to catch him before he was blown up together with his bike.
"Hiei…" Kurama's big fathomless eyes half opened and blood poured out of the wounds he got while racing.
"Shh…" Hiei's eyes were moist but he stopped before he got too emotional. He sent Kurama back into his flat and tended to his wounds.
Under Hiei's careful treatment, Kurama finally recovered. Hiei promised never to leave Kurama's side for as long as he could, and Kurama understood why Hiei did not say forever. That was because Hiei was from another world and he did not know what the future held. It feared him that Hiei might just leave him again, and he cried to god that Hiei would never leave his side no matter what. But god was a playful one, too, and Kurama was just a puppet in the show who could be easily broken and nobody would care.
***
Kurama was happy. Hiei was with him, on top of the mountain. The view was next to being natural, of course, save for some buildings that could be seen from afar.
Hiei sighed with resignment. He had given up his wings for the backpack, which would only make him fall faster if he was to fall. Humans were so stupid, he thought. But despite that he was tied down to Ningenkai, by all stupid means.
Kurama finally let the loads off his back and stretched, tiredly. Hiei yawned and settled cross-legged onto the mat. Kurama took off his hat and let down his waterfall of bushy red hair. His eyes were gleaming with a satisfaction and excitement. Hiei put down his backpack and let his wings appear. They had almost gotten cramped up trying to be unmaterialistic. He had not been practicing hiding them for quite some time already. The wind was great, and Hiei's feathers got everywhere. Kurama turned red immediately; it all looked like a dream. Once again he pinched himself to stop getting into a daze and fall off the mountain. But he knew that even if he did, Hiei would catch him. He relaxed a little.
The sun was setting, and Kurama knew that it was worth the climb. Even Hiei seemed mesmerized—and the true smile he got was the best evidence. Kurama sighed a happy sigh and spread the food out. They ate, fast, while the view was still there. And they had to get off before the sun completely disappeared.
It was easy. Kurama just had to hold both the backpacks while Hiei unfolded his wings and glided down. It wasn't easy, for Hiei at least, to do that, but they did it anyway.
Kurama also tried to get back to school, which of course wasn't easy for him. But Kurama's family had money anyway, and he got in through the backup. As if he was happy getting his way through a backup.
Hiei also gotten in, through Kurama.
But Kurama had lost his reputation, what with being booked for illegal racing so many times, but he had not lost his looks. Girls still went goo goo gaa gaa over him. Even some guys did. But they all kept their distances, and Kurama was mostly with Hiei. They were never seen doing anything that looked gay publicly, but rumors were going on anyway. Hiei felt compelled with going away again, he was a burden, but he was afraid that he would get trapped again. Plus Kurama would most probably go back into illegal racing and even drugs.
Illegal racing was a way of committing suicide, if you asked anyone on the streets. Any decent person, that is. Kurama wasn't caring about his life when he went into that, and that was what made him win. Any life lover would steer clear of danger even racing and those would lose in illegal racing.
Drugs were worse.
Hiei knew what those things did to the human body and always tried to steer Kurama clear of anything like that without seemingly having done so. Of course, Kurama was no blockhead. He knew what Hiei was doing, and always did as he knew what Hiei wanted him to. He loved Hiei and never wanted to break his heart.
***
Now, Kurama had terrible enemies. Besides some of the racers whom he defeated some time ago, he had lots of them in school. Guys who was jealous of him and guys who hated him for being so smart and guys who loved to hate people with no reputation.
Kurama was always called a girl by them and Hiei would silence them with a glare, and of course that was unless Kurama wasn't pissed off already and ready to murder.
Sometimes those lunatics who needed professional help would tease him terribly by saying that they wanted to tear Kurama's clothes apart and see for themselves whether he really was a girl and if he had that thing implanted. Kurama, who was no idiot, knew that those were far from friendly teases, but all he did was stay ignorant and live in his own world with Hiei.
***
It was a hot afternoon. Hiei was outside buying provisions for their fridge raids. Kurama was inside his hostel, enjoying the air conditioner. He was relaxed on an easy chair, slumped down without his shirt, and even with the air conditioner his well built body was gleaming with sweat. Air conditioners never stopped sunlight and greenhouse effects. He did not have curtains since he loved the scenery and figured no use for it. Plus he loved the sunshine.
He heard a door knock and figured that Hiei forgot the keys and wanted in. Though Hiei had an exceptionally good memory.
He got up and opened the door.
Who greeted him was not Hiei.
They were a huge gang, all with sport basics. From huge football jocks to hockey jocks. Those desperate Kurama haters who needed psychiatrists.
Kurama backed away, into the kitchen.
"Nice bod, huh, gal?"
Kurama felt his back touch the cabinet and silently opened a drawer, groped for a knife. He nicked himself, and cautiously held it by the handle, hiding it behind his back.
"come on, babe. We want to see if you are real."
Kurama whipped the knife out and held it in front of him, daring them to step closer, though he knew there was no way he was going to win no matter how many weapons he had. He was no James Bond.
They were surprised, but the leader was crazy. He advanced. Kurama slashed him in the upper arm, but this guy, an obvious drug addict, caught hold of the blade and snatched it away from Kurama. Kurama felt the strength and was startled. Someone had grabbed him from behind and the leader gave him a big cut on the face where he had a wound which had not completely healed from the underground racing. Kurama screamed and blood, lots of it, oozed out. The gang laughed and Kurama struggled. Someone got a roll of barbed wire and tied Kurama up with it. It hurts a damn lot, for those of you who's never been half naked and tied up with barbed wire. Kurama struggled, but the more he did the more he would get cut up, and there was nothing in his mind except for—
"Hiei…!!"
***
Kurama found himself still tied up, but in a different place. And obviously those guys took off his pants, so that his legs were cut up more than badly. He had on nothing but boxer shorts, which was not very nice, to say the least.
But then was not the time to start talking about dignity.
The gang gathered around him, as a guard watching him gestured for others to come. The leader led first. He lay on top of Kurama, barbed wires and all. Blood was mingling, not to say that it was a good thing, for both were bleeding. Of course, Kurama more.
He screamed once again and wished he would pass out. But it was one of those terrible times when he was in between conciousness and subconciousness. He blinked away dust in his eyes, and saw that the leader was naked and pressing forward.
Oh no…
***
When he woke up, because of the water splashed on his face At first he thought that perhaps Hiei really came. But he saw that the leader was halfway through and he screamed again. It was all so terrible. How could they take away what he treasured most, what he wanted to give Hiei most?!
Finally, a couple of tears splattered onto the cave ground and he felt himself go limp.
***
He could hear fluttering of wings and slashing of sword. Blood was everywhere, and Kurama felt some on his forehead. Or it was his; he did not know. It was Hiei, he knew. God had answered his prayer.
But too late, and he wished he was dead. God had a weird sense of humor.
Finally, he felt the barbed wire being unwounded.
He refused to open his eyes and see Hiei's horrified expression. He refused to see rejection again.
"Kurama…"
"Hiei…" Kurama whispered, as he felt a piece of cloth cover his body and knew it was Hiei's cloak. "take me out of here? Please?"
Hiei did as told.
***
"Hiei," Kurama looked up at Hiei's face, which was worn with an expression which Kurama had never seen before. Hiei looked down at him. "Please… Tell me… Will you leave me because of this?"
"Because of this?"
Kurama looked away, tears threatening to run down. He shut his eyes.
"Tell you what, Kurama." Hiei put Kurama down, careful not to touch his wounds. Well, major wounds. He put his arms around Kurama, drawing him closer. "I'll never leave you no matter what."
"But I've lost what I was supposed to give whom I love."
Hiei shut his eyes and buried his face in Kurama's red waterfall of hair. "I've never told you. Actually the invention of language is for communicating about one's feelings but I never told you."
Kurama looked up, his green emeralds shining enquiringly at Hiei.
"I love you. Though I've never told you this, I really love you."
Kurama felt tears running down his cheeks. "Even like this? Even with all these scars all over my body?"
"I love you for who you are, not what you are physically." Hiei took hold of Kurama's hand and held it. "I want to give you something."
He took hold of Kurama's head and opened his jyagan, placed it on Kurama's forehead.
Kurama saw images.
Images of a young child crying so sadly, of a young child being sexually abused by others, even his own parents, images of a young child being murdered by his mother, images of a young child surviving images of him killing and running away from junivile hall, him being caught and beaten up by the authorities, images of him being released and beaten up by some road frauds and taking drugs and doing all the underground things.
"That was my last and first life." Hiei said, looking away, sorrowfully.
Kurama understood, right then, all the things that Hiei had been through and how Hiei must have expected rejection to make him understand. Before Hiei disappeared he held on to him, close to his body.
But he loved him no matter what.
"I don't have anything for you." Kurama sighed. "The bible had been cruel when it said that all earthly things shall perish one day." The only thing he could think of was his bike, the one which brought Hiei back to his side.
He got it. The power of prayer that was strong enough to break mountains and separate seas.
So Kurama prayed. He prayed a prayer of eternity and to be with Hiei forever. And to be one with Hiei till eternity where all things perish except their bondage. He also prayed for something which he had to give.
"Live is treasured above all, but love is much more wonderful than that."
Then the answer came to him.
His return of Hiei's love was the greatest gift to Hiei.
God knows how. Kurama heard a voice in his mind before it came to his ears.
"Thank you."
The voice in his mind was Hiei.
He knew God had answered his prayer. They were one, though different, yet one.
:.Hiei…?.:
:Wha?.:
:This….:
:.I know… ….:
:.Do you want it to be removed?.:
:.It's the greatest thing….:
Kurama suddenly felt so together with Hiei. He felt as if he knew how Hiei felt, what Hiei wanted, and so on, as if they were his feelings. They leaned forward, Hiei's open Jyagan gleaming in the sunset that could not be seen ever so clearly in the dense forest.
Kurama pushed Hiei down, perhaps because he thought Hiei's desire as his and went to push the other down instead, and they kissed.
:.Never alone again….:
:.Never alone.:
Their thoughts were so mingled as they exchanged breathes that they could not tell which was which. Burning, ever so hot…
:.Forever….:
:.Love you.:
:.Different….:
:.This moment is eternity.:
:.Natch….:
Kurama felt Hiei's hands roam up to the collar of his cape.
:.Flaming.:
:.White hot.:
:.This can burn for eternity.:
:.Our love.:
:Everlasting.:
***
Weeks later, Kurama heard a doorbell ring in his new apartment.
"Hi!"
"Huh?!"
"Who… who are you?"
"Can't you remember?"
Kurama shook his head. "Who are you?"
"You really can't remember me?" She appeared hurt.
"Let me see…" Kurama pretended to think for a while. "Yeah…"
"Oh, really?!" She practically jumped for joy. "Thank you…"
"Huh?"
"Can I stay here for a while?"
"Okay…" He considered for a while and asked, tell me, what's your name?"
"Hinoto Ogata. You really don't remember me?"
"Not that. But I just want to make sure I didn't mistake you for someone wonderful."
"Thank you."
***
Kurama remembered, after a quick flip of the year books. She was one of his girlfriends. One of those who went for the longest times, too. In fact, he went with her for that long because his friend was betting some few grands on how long he could go. Well, the friend was heavily in debt before. He never did have to break up with her. She migrated to America right after the three weeks were up. But he never liked her. If anyone must make a comment, he never liked anyone else before he met Hiei. She was damn pretty, though.
He wondered when Hinoto was going to move out. He had half-heartedly said okay at first because he was downright stumped. But right after he was sober and was ready to shoo her out.
Besides, he was worried that Hiei might be jealous. Sure, Hiei took all of it well, but they were not as together as they used to be before her arrival.
Hinoto was treating the place as her own, so he had to worry about things or else.
He sighed, and proceeded to think of a plan.
***
Kurama was in love with his new school, though it was not a boarding school and he had to get up six in the morning for transport. It did not have all the facilities for the pupils, but the people there were less cocky and more accepting. Though they would still call him gay if they knew Hiei and him was in love.
By the end of school he still haven't came up with an idea yet. But he knew he had to get rid of her no matter what.
Hinoto was even waiting by the gate for him and she always shooed Hiei away for whatever corny reasons she had. Hiei was tolerant, being an angel. Kurama was NOT that torlerant, for that matter. Or any matter.
Hinoto hugged Kurama and Hiei was buying a drink for them. "Don't you have school?"
"I told you. Two months later."
"How 'bout orientation?"
"Nope."
Kurama sighed. "Well, I suppose I have better be at the WC."
"You have been to the WC for how many times, you know?"
"No. But just for a minute." Kurama ran away, leaving Hinoto to shout, "I'll be waiting for you here!"
He found Hiei in the canteen. "Quick, Hiei, run!" And dragged Hiei away, out of the queue.
At long last they reached a hotel and rented a room.
***
"Just for a minute?!" Hinoto yelled. "I waited for you for half an hour!"
Kurama sighed. Having Hinoto there was like having a new mother.
Finally, Hinoto stopped and suggested going shopping the next day and all the crap, altogether leaving Hiei out.
"But this you mustn't forget." Hinoto finally concluded. "We're meeting at Fuji Ice palace for my final skating competition. One o'clock."
Kurama was listening, and when she said that she looked so sweet that Kurama could never forget.
But then, a person with white wings, those like Hiei's, flew in. Kurama was shocked. He was wearing a turtleneck and something which resembled a pastor, with all those elaborate assecories. Long turquoise hair hung over the shoulders, forming a beautiful curtain of cloak which would have reached the ground had he not be hovering.
"Where's Hiei?"
"Uh… He's…"
"Well, he has to come back by tommorrow. It's the orders."
"Tommorrow?" Kurama shook his head. "But…"
"I told you. It's the orders."
Kurama ran out of sight, to where he knew Hiei would be.
***
"So you knew it from the begining."
"I'm sorry."
He hugged Hiei, refusing to let go.
"I …"
Tears welled up and fell. Kurama kissed Hiei, and they embraced. Finally, they made love, for the last time, before Hiei could be gone.
It was the place where they made love first and where they made love last.
***
Hiei stood on the building aimlessly. Kurama looked up at him. No words, no nothing. Silence was all that they had, and at that time silence was deadly. Kurama smoothed his hair, his blood red hair that was flowing out of control with the wind.
Light streamed down from above, making everything else seem so dim.
Hiei was gone.
Disappeared. Forever.
Kurama dropped onto his knees, shaking.
Tears rolled down uncontrollably, blown away from his face by the wind.
***
He cried. For weeks and weeks, he could think of life as tears.
Even Hinoto had left. He had nobody by his side and he was lonely.
He started to write.
"Hiei stood on the building aimlessly. Kurama looked up at him. No words, no nothing……"
Of the time when they first met. He even illustrated some of the scenes, but they looked so real that they grieved him more. Progress was slow, because he was often staring at the papers and wondered what would happen later. He thought Hiei might never come back, but he refused to stop writing.
Occasionally he would drink a lot. He always got onto the roof where Hiei left. He would think of dying, occasionally, but he was determined to finish the story. He often skipped school, but of course the school never dared to say anything.
He prayed that he could return to the past and know that this was all a dream. He would lose all his memories except the fact that he wrote this book, and lived happily ever after.
That was not to be.
***
He found himself awaking to a new day. He looked around, half expecting to find his Hiei up and about, and realised for a moment that Hiei was gone. He cried out. He looked at his watch. 1/22/98. Which meant that he was only dreaming all the other events. He looked around his table, expecting to find a open book with all its illustrations. He saw one, but it was not as he expected. It was his diary, with his handwriting and all the fresh pictures which he painted the night before. Not the book which he had found in a newspaper stand the other day.
He knew that it was not a dream.
He continued writing, somehow, even writing the things which had never happened before. Yet he knew it would happen, and when they did they would catch him by surprise.
He prayed. It was his prayer that binded Hiei to him, he knew, and he was going to use it to let himself meet Hiei.
***
He found a publisher. Through an agent, who miraculously answered so quickly that he wondered why, but he knew that if he did not, the book would never be published in time.
***
Kurama looked at the redhead who caught a glance at the newstand. He was wearing his white uniform, looking ever so handsome under the gleaming sunshine. Beautiful red hair flowed along with the wind as big wide eyes stared at the beautifully illustrated book which read "THE SHADOW ANGEL". Not at the picture of the author, but at the corner of the picture. The redhead walked towards it, held it up and stared some more. Finally, he got out of his trance and went to the cashier, who had been looking at him strangely.
The redhead did not hear the whispered goodbye, nor see his older form looking at him, with a look of forlorness and satisfaction mixed together.
***
Kurama returned to his time. Life was empty. He was passing by the newstand which he had passed by a year or so ago, when he noticed this book. The cover was Kurama, and Hiei. Kurama obviously had not recognised having drawn that picture. Plus the way it was coloured was dark, way different from his usual colouring.
He looked at the spine. "BLOOD, MY LIFE—Hiei."
It was written by Hiei, he finally knew. From Hiei's view. He got the book and went home, neglecting his paintbrushes.
Read.
It was their encounters written from Hiei's point of view. He looked out of the windows and cried, "Hiei…! Hiei… …!" He saw no flash of black, nor did he hear the flapping wings.
He closed his eyes. He took a knife, one that he usually used for his pictures, and—the ceiling became blurred and he slipped into Death. Life no longer seemed like it did anymore.
***
He looked at the blazing figure who stood in front of him. "Death."
Kurama knew he was doomed for death of his soul, to be ripped apart by the demons of Hell. He nodded, head bowed down. Hiei most probably never cared anymore.
He waited, as they walked towards the bridge that held Heaven and Hell together. He knew he had commited great sins by commiting suicide and all, and he knew that it was better to perish. Suddenly, as the blazing figure started to leave him, Hiei appeared. "Please…"
"What are you doing here, Hiei?"
"Please, give me whatever punishments you give him. Living alone to me is meaningless to me, without Kurama, whom I love most…"
"Fool! Life is treasured above all!"
Hiei shook his head. "Life is treasured only when you have a loved one…"
The figure relented. "Fine! Then I'll send you back in time, to another dimension, to this place where Makai is just as bad as hell and you both will have to live there. There will be a Reikai and a Ningenkai, and then you both shall meet."
"Thank you…"
***
Kurama looked at Hiei, his green eyes shining with both happiness and sadness. "I'm sorry…"
"No, you're not at fault. I chose my destiny."
They stepped into a time void and felt all else slip away into darkness.
***
The silver fox looked at the dead body. It sniffed, for a moment, and transferred into youko form, ears still twitching. It was what used to be his mother. He recognised the emerald which he carved the word "Ai" on. The emerald was hidden among the cloth, and he knew whoever killed her had exploded her and had not expected to find anything. Even if it was not his mother, his mother would have been dead, for he knew how much his mother treasured his emerald.
No longer had he someone to love him.
He turned away, and thought he heard a voice from above.
"You shall find your flying shadow, whom you came here for."
He smiled.
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Aloha!Thursday, January 22, 199811:33:39 PM
Boy am I tired.
I still have another Shadow Angel to complete, plus two Blood, My Lifes' which I haven't started on yet.
Yawn…!
The other Shadow Angel was half written by error, because I went off line with my notes on ideas so I used my ideas on this and the other one would be slightly different.
Please support the other one too, plus Blood and Shadows… yawn…
Hidoko
http://xz0ne.cjb.net
voidmatsumoto@yahoo.co.uk