-mugen ni naru...-

Have you ever seen a star?
I don't know, and neither have I. Not really, I mean. They're technically shining objects in the sky. Random shining objects working on the combustion of hydrogen.
I've a clockwork mind, don't I? *laughs*
But when I saw that night sky, I knew something was in that whirlpool. And it felt as if something inside me was waiting to be born, waiting to be burst out.
Was it my destiny, or was it a curse empowering over me?
It was struggling, struggling, struggling struggling struggling.......!
Like an unborn child, it didn't stop, couldn't stop.
But I knew that there hadn't been any child inside of me... Yet it was growing, and growing and ready to burst out, like a live being; it could almost have been a baby.
When I saw him, I wasn't seeing a Star. I wasn't seeing an angel, or a God.
I don't know, not right now, anyway.
I mean, I didn't know... I didn't know.
Was it my fate?
I couldn't see my fate either; I think I was so blind...
Yes, that's it.
An eye cannot see itself, so it must be through a mirror...
I think, in him I saw myself.
At that time.....
If it's that way, am I a selfish bastard? God, I don't know. I feel a bit of that way...
Maybe, we were even one in soul, long ago, when soul jades began splitting due to unstability- that sounds like chemistry. *laughs* Really...
I've felt as if I've been searching forever and forever.
Do you believe in alternate lives?
Yeah, I do.
I did.
I believed in it since I was young; I don't know why....
I believed that until I found someone, I wouldn't be so lonely.
But what is this thing that keeps growing and growing....
All my life...
Something which I've been so scared of, and even when I met him, the Star, it hasn't disappeared..!?
....Is it my fate, to be empowered by this thing which would slowly eat me away from the inside...?
......I don't know...
I would rather be eaten away than leave tetsu any day. Somehow, it seems like he'd disappear any moment this feeling is gone... it seems like I'd never regain this tranquility, ever....
Please spare me, please do... I don't know...
But, I believe in Stars, I believe in whatever magical I see in those eyes.
I don't think God or Angels exist...
But I believe in destiny.
Ain't it weird?
...Yes, destiny.. and death.
When that thing stops growing inside me....
......When it finally does....
I'm waiting, you know, waiting for that tranquility.
Please spare me....
I'm waiting for an eternal silence...
tetsu, you'll accompany me through, wouldn't you?
....I hope so. It'd hurt so much for me to die without you.
But then again, at that time, I probably wouldn't care, would I? Maybe I would...
I care about what you are seeing in your sleep.
You're so gentle, it's a sin. It's a sin for me to touch you. And it's a sin for me to hold you, to enjoy your gentility.
It's a sin for me to fall asleep beside you, so I'm not doing it now.
Have you felt that feeling of violation?
I don't know... It hurt, I felt as if something happened, something scary, but that had only been a dream.
Don't ever leave me, tetsu...
I'd never be able to face reality if you do.
Yes, not even death, I guess.
I'll look forward to seeing your face when I do wake up... ...
goodnight, tetchan.
I love you....
Maybe forever.

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